Talk:Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Beloved Freak 19:01, 13 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for criteria)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
Well-written, lead is fine. Basically just a few points to clarify in the prose. Issues with eliipses (not GA criteria).
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
No problems with original research. Very well researched and referenced. 2 bare URLs in citations (not GA criteria).
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
Covers major aspects and does not go off on a tangent.
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
Balanced and neutral.
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
No problems here.
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Images are used appropriately and have suitable captions. Non-free images have appropriate fair-use rationales.
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Well, you've been working on this for a long time; it's obviously a labour of love! This is very close to passing GA, with just a few small issues. I will also list some suggestions that are not required by the GA criteria as I suspect you'll be wanting to take this one further. I'll go through and mention any issues by section.

Infobox

Are two sources needed for the limited release date?
I'm curious about why the gross revenue for Germany is included in the infobox. Does the film have particular ties to Germany?
Are there any details (and this goes for the main body of the article too) about the release date or gross revenue for Canada? You mention the US and North America, but not Canada, which is where the film is from
According to the infobox, US$8,540,346 was the gross revenue in the US, according to the lead (and the release section), that figure is for North America. Was it not released in other North American countries?

Lead

Why is the footnote needed for the title of the film? Was there some dispute? I've never seen a film article where the title is supported by a footnote saying that it appears that way in the film. Also, the film poster shows the same title. Am I missing something?
You use both film and movie. If that is intentional, fine, but it might be better to be consistent.
"...and involved several crew members who worked on the original Care Bears Movie." - to me, this implies the same time frame as this films; would probably be better as and involved several crew members who had worked on the original Care Bears Movie.
Here, and lower down, you have linked Los Angeles, but not other cities like Toronto and Ottawa. This should be consistent.

Plot

"They safely escape while following a rainbow up to the sky..." - safely is perhaps redundant here. Maybe They escape by following a rainbow up to the sky...
It could perhaps be clearer what the Care Bear Cousins are. It's not vital to the plot, but without prior knowledge, it's not obvious that they're not bears. Maybe could be explained in a footnote.
"Noble Heart Horse hints at Dark Heart's return, and insist they never find out." - this is not completely clear. How does Noble Heart hint? How does he know Dark Heart will return? Who will never find out, the children? What will they never find out, that Dark Heart is returning? Do they already know about DH?
"The horse and True Heart tell them to babysit the Cubs while they are away." - where are they away to? Are they off to defeat Dark Heart?
"Back on Earth..." - Why are they back? Did they only go to the Kingdom for a quick visit? This may be nitpicking, but as you can gather, I find this and the previous two sentences a little vague.
"That night, the other children wreck the camp thanks to Dark Heart." - this is a little unclear. Why are they wrecking the camp? Has DH bewitched them or something? Is he one of the campers?

Production

"...the characters appeared as toys ... and also in greeting cards by Elena Kucharik. They also appeared ..." - try to avoid this quick repetition of "also"

Release

Here, and a few times further down, you have used an ellipsis. Per WP:ELLIPSIS, the MoS recommends "Three unspaced periods" with "a space on each side" (with a few exceptions).

North America

Is there a particular reason for starting this section with "On March 8, 1986..." and talking about how much it earned, before stating the release date the previous day?
"The film opened on March 7, 1986..." - was this just in the US, or Canada too?

Reception

"requires its audiences to have some prior knowledge of Care Bears....Very young kids" - apart from th ellipsis issue mentioned above, is this ellipsis in the original source? If not, you should be consistent with your use of square brackets in quotes.

Allusions

"Mike McLane ... gave a few suggestions of the storyline's possible religious subtext" - might be nice to read his suggestions

References

The references currently at No. 52 (Livres hebdo) and No. 61 (Visão) have bare URLs.
Just personal taste, but ISO date formatting (yyyy-mm-dd) can be confusing to some readers as they are not consistently used in all countries. Many readers won't know which number refers to the month, and which to the day. It can be less confusing to spell it out as month day, year.

External links

I'm not happy with linking to the Care Bear Zone. Firstly, it looks like a fansite and secondly, it's hosting images under copyright without permission.

Please let me know if you have any questions. The main issues for passing GA are the points I raised about the prose, and the external link the rest are just suggestions.--Beloved Freak 19:48, 13 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'm not sure, but this could take me another week or two. At this moment, I'm depending on library access; our lone laptop (at home) caught some kind of virus. --Slgrandson (How's my egg-throwing coleslaw?) 22:22, 14 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Our system's fixed. I'll get this finished by either this Friday or Saturday. --Slgrandson (How's my egg-throwing coleslaw?) 06:45, 17 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry I didn't reply earlier but that would have been fine. Glad your system's fixed though. :) --Beloved Freak 17:03, 17 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Now what do you think? --Slgrandson (How's my egg-throwing coleslaw?) 23:34, 18 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good! Thanks for the work you've done. I'm happy to list the article as a Good Article now. Congratulations! --Beloved Freak 18:56, 19 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]