Talk:California Polytechnic State University Mustang Band

This article must adhere to the biographies of living persons (BLP) policy, even if it is not a biography, because it contains material about living persons. Contentious material about living persons that is unsourced or poorly sourced must be removed immediately from the article and its talk page, especially if potentially libellous. If such material is repeatedly inserted, or if you have other concerns, please report the issue to this noticeboard.

If you are a subject of this article, or acting on behalf of one, and you need help, please see this help page.

Biography: Musicians

	Biography portal This article is within the scope of WikiProject Biography, a collaborative effort to create, develop and organize Wikipedia's articles about people. All interested editors are invited to join the project and contribute to the discussion. For instructions on how to use this banner, please refer to the documentation.BiographyWikipedia:WikiProject BiographyTemplate:WikiProject Biographybiography articles
	This article is supported by WikiProject Musicians (assessed as Low-importance).

California: State University Low‑importance

	California portal This article is within the scope of WikiProject California, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of the U.S. state of California on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the discussion and see a list of open tasks.CaliforniaWikipedia:WikiProject CaliforniaTemplate:WikiProject CaliforniaCalifornia articles
Low	This article has been rated as Low-importance on the project's importance scale.
	This article is supported by California State University task force (assessed as Low-importance).

Suggestions

do what needs to be done to eliminate the stub classification.
proofread first paragraph
make second paragraph less wordy
give bulletted entries in History section parallel structure
Directors section doesnt indicate difference between list and biographies. links on both biographies broken
Marching Season--copy edit for word repetition and sentence sense and definition of unfamiliar terms. Rethink the heading for this section.
Pep band needs copy editing for grammar.
Introductory sentence to Sections needs tightening.
Throughout, check use of its and it's--the first is possessive, the second a contraction
Student officers section is very messy

Overall, this is adequate but seems to be packed with material that has little interest to the general reader, e.g. the full biographies of the director and assistant director and the detailed functions of all the officers. The most engaging information is provided in the discussion of the band's activities.

There is mention of a historian and of archives. This could be turned into a more lively article with stories about band history and accomplishments.

Grade available after copy editing. Further substantial changes can raise the grade.

Rudolph2007 20:22, 14 May 2007 (UTC)[reply]

sentence 2 and elsewhere--agreement--it vs. they functions in two different forms

spelling

contents: "the"

links

The rest of the season relies on Tuesday and Thursday rehearsals from 3:10-5:30 pm and some extra weekend rehearsals to perfect their shows.

Where they perform a few more songs before they make their way down to the field for the pre-game performance.

For every touch down the band plays the fight song and plays Mustang Sally for every field goal that the team makes.

and for other occasions

cadence?

where the band gets to do a uniform sort of dance

By playing at the Open House and WOW events the band is able to show itself to all prospective students and are able to use these events as a time for recruitment. who becomes that particular section's representative.

Baribones: Includes Baritones/Euphoniums and Trombones

parallelism in student officers

Every year the AEO puts on the annual band banquet. At this banquet the CEO, drum major, and directors hand out awards to the certain members of the band some examples are

Template:California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo

Rudolph2007 13:58, 24 May 2007 (UTC)[reply]

My last comments havent been addressed. Each quote consists of language that requires correction. B-

Rudolph2007 15:29, 27 May 2007 (UTC)[reply]

I still had to change baribones to baritones, but otherwise this looks good. A-

Rudolph2007 16:45, 30 May 2007 (UTC)[reply]

External links modified (February 2018)

Hello fellow Wikipedians,

I have just modified 6 external links on Mustang Band. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:

When you have finished reviewing my changes, you may follow the instructions on the template below to fix any issues with the URLs.

This message was posted before February 2018. After February 2018, "External links modified" talk page sections are no longer generated or monitored by InternetArchiveBot. No special action is required regarding these talk page notices, other than regular verification using the archive tool instructions below. Editors have permission to delete these "External links modified" talk page sections if they want to de-clutter talk pages, but see the RfC before doing mass systematic removals. This message is updated dynamically through the template {{source check}} (last update: 5 June 2024).

If you have discovered URLs which were erroneously considered dead by the bot, you can report them with this tool.
If you found an error with any archives or the URLs themselves, you can fix them with this tool.

Cheers.—InternetArchiveBot (Report bug) 11:55, 9 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]