Talk:California Coastal Trail

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designed on connecting?

Give brief definition of Coastal conservancy and link the term to its own wikipedia page or another source about it

place citations at end of sentence

"The California Coastal Trail will not be one single pathway that connects the entire coastline. It will consist of different, and approximately parallel trails that accommodate the needs of varying visitors. Some portions of the trail will be for beach walkers, and other sections will be for bicyclists and equestrians. The trail will also have paths to detour around seasonal nesting grounds or other sensitive sites."

too close to language of source

what's source of cost estimate? Is it accurate? Costs and funding should have its own section that is more fully developed

keep "goals" as heading, since they use it. In this section, provide page numbers to the pamphlet where the references come from. They are from several different pages. Check througout for language that's too close to the original.

"actions" is unclear heading--maybe "implementation"

but this section has two apparantly different topics. This is not a clear enough transition between them "The conservancy is also encouraging the state to implement five statewide policies."

History:

good information but also too close to language of source.

what's happened since 2001

No citation on Challenges. More than one source should be used.

This is all good information, well selected. The article could be huge. But even at this length, it needs to bring in more perspectives rather than relying almost exclusively on the booklet which is the central source. For instance, try Coastwalk.

also the two volume trailguide book needs mention and reference

also http://articles.latimes.com/keyword/california-coastal-trail Rudolph2007 (talk) 17:17, 16 May 2009 (UTC) May16

proofread: designed on connecting

revisions to the lead are inadequate. Lead shouldnt include a long quote; when I said too close the solution isnt to quote but to process more into your own words. Last two sentence are wordy and redundant. Write professionally.

History--the material about de Anza doesnt belong at beginning and digresses--remember your topic.

It makes sense to quote the language of the initiative but not this: The decision “was a landmark in coastal protection for California.” unless you provide source.

the conservancy hopes --indicate at the beginning that these are goals stated by the conservancy, and then dont keep repeating this

create positive memories for the public --awkward

a few criteria. The California Coastal Trail has --delete

within not in

Goals section is good selection of information, but needs editing

make goal numbering consistent state legislation decided to aid--proofread

"Coastwalk, a non-profit organization, was awarded a $600,000 planning grant in 2000 for the purpose of preparing a plan to designate the coastal trail." [9]--paraphrase, dont quote

good paraphrase of original in "Implementation"

The maps of the California Coastal Trail have six different types of markings on them. delete "on them" This section on Maps needs to explain what maps you are talking about and provide a link to them, otherwise it makes no sense.

a general comment: since most information is taken from the CA Coastal book, you should mention and describe that resource itself, probably in the lead.

This remains rough in places, but will end up a valuable source.

B-

Rudolph2007 (talk) 17:17, 16 May 2009 (UTC)

I've had to make many minor edits, which you should examine by comparing the last revision to the present one.

This is a useful article which shows good research and clear organization, but it still stands in need of further editing and additions.

B Rudolph2007 (talk) 17:31, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

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