Talk:CSS Alabama's Indian Ocean Expeditionary Raid

This is the talk page for discussing improvements to the CSS Alabama's Indian Ocean Expeditionary Raid article.
This is not a forum for general discussion of the article's subject.

Put new text under old text. Click here to start a new topic.
New to Wikipedia? Welcome! Learn to edit; get help.

Article policies

Find sources: Google (books · news · scholar · free images · WP refs) · FENS · JSTOR · TWL

Ships

This article is within the scope of WikiProject Ships, a project to improve all Ship-related articles. If you would like to help improve this and other articles, please join the project, or contribute to the project discussion. All interested editors are welcome. To use this banner, please see the full instructions.ShipsWikipedia:WikiProject ShipsTemplate:WikiProject ShipsShips articles

Military history: Maritime / North America / United States / American Civil War

This article is within the scope of the Military history WikiProject. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the project and see a list of open tasks. To use this banner, please see the full instructions.Military historyWikipedia:WikiProject Military historyTemplate:WikiProject Military historymilitary history articles

This article has been checked against the following criteria for B-class status:
Referencing and citation: criterion not met Coverage and accuracy: criterion not met Structure: criterion not met Grammar and style: criterion met Supporting materials: criterion met

Associated task forces:
/
	Maritime warfare task force
	North American military history task force
	United States military history task force
	American Civil War task force

First comment

You might need to work harder on :-

Neutrality: “a beautiful torching”?? What sailor would think a burning ship is beautiful? Whoever it belongs to?

Peacock phrases: “ the Stainless banner was unfurled”???

Tense: the article uses a mixture of past tense and present historic tense; present historic isn’t really a good style

Geography: the Sunda strait leads from the Indian ocean to the Java Sea, the Gasper and Karimata straits to the South China sea, the Malacca Strait back into the Indian ocean. Doesn’t really touch the Pacific. Maybe the next one should be re-named East Indies ER.

Xyl 54 (talk) 13:39, 14 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Good points. My initial construction of the article leans heavily on my own notes, thus the "beautiful" torchings by His Excellency, Captain Semmes. I'll be going back over these raids to fill more meat on the bone, and will recompose some of that as I do so. The "Stainless Banner" is the name of the Confederate Flag, and flags are "unfurled" in Navy speak, so that is normal language. I think its better than "the Confederate flag was hung up" or something like that. The tense is from my notes, and yes, needs to be changed in tense. On the last part, the expedition covered the IO, but the prizes all happened to come on the eastern areas, but East Indies Expeditionary Raid is not a bad title, I'm open to that. Perhaps it can be renamed and moved at some point. I went by body of water names for consistency. Grayghost01 (talk) 18:47, 14 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Tonnage of the Clipper Contest

Do not see how to edit that, so will state here that she was registered at 1098 tons, but was 1500 measured, per American Clipper Ships 1833-1858, Volume I, by Howe and Matthews.

Rocksnstars (talk) 16:50, 17 June 2012 (UTC)Tom Hoffelder[reply]