Jump to content

Talk:Butterfly/GA1

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review

[edit]
GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 00:36, 3 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]


I'll get to this shortly.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 00:36, 3 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Many thanks. Cwmhiraeth and Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:38, 3 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Dunkleosteus77

[edit]

Image review

[edit]
  • For the two images for sexual dimorphism, put the caption below them and specify male/female on the top
Tried it: it came out really strange. Better as it is.
Alright then...
OK, I'll ask; this is however outside the GA criteria. Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:45, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Done.

General comments

[edit]

All-in-all, the errors I see here are minor grammatical errors.

Many thanks. Chiswick Chap (talk) 07:53, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is this written in British English? If so, add the template {{British English}} to the article's talk page
Done: it's in Australian English, which is quite similar to the British variety. Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:38, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "When metamorphosis is complete the pupal skin..." in the lead, put a comma after complete to separate the subject and the predicate
Done. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 08:22, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "...flies, ants, other invertebrates, and vertebrates" in the lead, replace "invertebrates, and vertebrates" with "other organisms" (this one is a matter of your discretion)
That would involve two uses of the word "organism" in one sentence. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 08:22, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "...and flavones; but many..." in the General description section, replace the semi-colon with a comma or take out the word "but"
Done. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 08:22, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Nearly all butterflies are day-flying..." in the General description section, replace "day-flying" with "diurnal"
Done. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 08:22, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Some day-flying moths are exceptions to these rules" in the General description section, could you give an example?
Done. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 08:22, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Instead of using "food-plant", just use the word "food"
That would be less clear.
The use the word "plant"
Sorry, but it's the usual term, implying often strong specificity. Nothing else will do. Chiswick Chap (talk) 02:17, 6 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Add links to all the strange geography descriptors in the Distribution section, e.g., "Neotropical"-->"Neotropical"
Done. Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:38, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "...spread across the world..." in the Distribution section, how?
Done. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 10:33, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • In Life cycle, add links to the four stages
Done. Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:38, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "... in most butterflies but eggs laid close..." in the Egg section, put a comma before "but"
Done. Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:38, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "At this point the larva stops feeding..." in the Pupa section, put a comma after "point" to separate the subject from the predicate
Done. Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:38, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "...the two halves of the proboscis, the antennae and..." in the Pupa section, add the word "with" after the comma
Done. Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:38, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Put refs at the end of sentences, not in the middle as with ref 37 in the second sentence of the Behaviour section
Generally yes, but that ref applies only to pollen. Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:38, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "... pollen load as bees but they...", in the Behaviour section, put a comma before "but"
Done. Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:38, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "...for energy, and sodium and other minerals vital for reproduction...", in the Behaviour section, replace the second "and" with "as well as" (this one is a matter of your discretion)
Maybe best as it is. Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:38, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "... be provided as a nuptial gift along with the spermatophore, during mating...", in the Behaviour section, delete the comma or put another comma after "gift"
Done. Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:38, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • You link "aposematism" twice in the same subsection, Antipredator adaptations
Done. Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:38, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Other comments

[edit]
  • I'm a bit worried that you will have to delete the subsections of the Life cycle section, as this only talks about caterpillars and would, therefore, better suit the caterpillar article. This may only be a problem, however, in FAC, so I'm going to let Sturmvogel 66 be the judge of that (I'm pretty sure Sturmvogel will say it's fine)
It would be a problem if butterfly only meant imago, but it is quite usual to say "butterfly eggs", etc, and to talk about the "butterfly clade", so the article covers the whole life-cycle. Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:38, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Try merging the Migration and Distribution sections
See what you mean, but they are different topics and belong in different parts of the article; we'll consider what if anything needs to be done about this. Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:49, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
They're really not. Merge them and rename it "Distribution and migration" because both are really short and bounce off each other.
I have merged them. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 08:53, 6 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
By merge I meant that the contents should also go with it.
  • The Behaviour section doesn't seem to talk about behaviour. The first two paragraphs talk about the proboscis (which should probably be in an Anatomy or Proboscis or Feeding behaviour section) and the second-to-the-last talks about senses (which should be in a Senses section) and the last talks about wings (which should be in an Anatomy or Wings section); if you are going to write an Anatomy section, also try merging in the Flight section
I disagree with your view that the Behaviour section is not about behaviour. However, I have removed the Flight subheading. I do not think this paragraph would be better relocated in any other section. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 08:53, 6 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Then change the name to Anatomy.
  • Change the name of the Parasitoids, diseases and the environment section to "Parasitoids, diseases and predation"
Done. Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:38, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Change the name of the Antipredator adaptations section to "Defenses"
Defences it is. Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:38, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your comments Dunkleosteus77. Chiswick Chap and I are not in agreement with you over the remaining points you have raised and await Sturmvogel 66's decision as to whether the article meets the GA criteria. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 08:24, 7 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Fair enough. Best of luck to you! Dunkleosteus77 (push to talk) 14:12, 7 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 19:09, 7 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for all of your input, Dunkleosteus77; it's saved me a fair amount of work!--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 19:15, 9 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

[edit]
  • No DABs
ok.
  • Bunch of dead links that need fixing.
Cleared them out.
  • Images appropriately licensed.
ok.
  • food plant is fine.
Thanks.
  • Link larvae on first use.
Done.
  • their larval stages they can damage domestic crops or trees; some species are agents of pollination Suggest "other" instead of "some"
Done.
  • Probably should expand mya abbreviation on first use.
Done.
  • Watch for overlinking.
There isn't much. Some links are repeated in image captions, which is allowed; one or two families are linked in the table in Taxonomy and once somewhere else, which does seem reasonable (and is therefore also allowed).
  • Link clade, superfamily, sclerotised
Done.
  • cryptically coloured explain this a bit better, and this one as well flat on the substrate
Glossed both of them. Chiswick Chap (talk) 19:27, 9 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Done.
  • Clarify that the thorax has three segments.
Done.
  • While not a requirement, many titles in your bibliography are not in title case. Be consistent.
Done.
Ah, you were talking about the regional lists. Cleaned 'em up. Chiswick Chap (talk) 21:10, 10 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Butterfly/GA1&oldid=857302044"