Jump to content

Talk:Burnham-on-Sea/GA1

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Malleus Fatuorum 18:16, 19 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Lead
  • "Burnham-on-Sea is a town in Somerset, England, at the mouth of the River Parrett and Bridgwater Bay. Burnham was a small village until the late 18th century, but it is now a popular seaside resort." This doesn't quite work, as it could easily be a popular seaside resort and a small village at the same time. I'm not quite sure what you're trying to say here – perhaps it grew to become a town because of its popularity as a seaside resort? Or the two things were unconnected, just coincidentally happened in parallel?
  • Hopefully resolved?
  • "In 1911, a concrete wall was built ...". I'm sure many concrete walls were built in 1911, but presumably this is referring to a sea wall?
  • Hopefully resolved?
  • "There have been many shipwrecks on the Gore sand.". Should this be "Gore Sand"? This just seems to come out of the ether. Where's the Gore sand? What's it got to do with Burnham?
  • Hopefully resolved?
  • "The original lighthouse, known as the round tower ...". Should this be "Round Tower"?
  • Hopefully resolved?
  • "The first lifeboat was sent to Burnham by the Bridgwater Corporation in 1836, and current services are provided by the Burnham-on-Sea Area Rescue Boat." Need to be a bit more specific I think. "Rescue services"? Why the plural anyway?
  • Hopefully resolved?
  • "... was built to replace the light on the top of St Andrews Church tower, which dates back to the 14th century." What dates back to the 14th century, the church tower, the light, or both?
  • Hopefully resolved?
  • "It was later shortened to two storeys." "Shortened" seems like a strange word to use in this context. Could we say something like "the top two storeys were removed"?
  • Hopefully resolved?
  • "... a steamer service to Wales was created ...". "Created" isn't right here. "Initiated"? "Began"? "Inaugurated"?
  • Hopefully resolved?
Geography
  • "The landscape of Hinkley Point is dominated by two nuclear power stations: Hinkley Point A - Magnox (now closed) and Hinkley Point B - AGR." I'm uncomfortable with those hyphens, but I'm uncertain what the official names are of those power stations. The hyphens aren't right in any event. Should they be ndashes?
  • I'm not sure on this one & would welcome guidance.
Governance
  • "The village now falls within the non-metropolitan district of Sedgemoor, which was formed on 1 April 1974 under the Local Government Act 1972, which is responsible for local planning and building control, local roads, council housing, environmental health, markets and fairs, refuse collection and recycling, cemeteries and crematoria, leisure services, parks, and tourism." Several problems with this sentence, not the least of which is its length. We were told in the lead that Burnham was a town, but now it's a village. "Which was formed ... which was responsible ..." just doesn't work.
  • Hopefully resolved?
  • "I'm uncomfortable with including these details of local service providers in the Governance section, and in the fullness of time I'd expect to see a developed Public services section in this article, including information about policing, waste management, and so on. But I'm conscious that this is a GA review, not an FAC, so I won't stick on that.
Lighthouses
  • "The low wooden pile lighthouse or Lighthouse on legs is 36 feet (11 m) high, the light being at 23 feet (7.0 m) was also built by Joseph Nelson in 1832." Something very wrong there.
  • Hopefully resolved?
  • "The low wooden pile lighthouse or "Lighthouse on legs", which was also built by Joseph Nelson in 1832 ...". That implies that the High Lighthouse was also built in 1832. Is that the case? Or is there a comma missing, as in "... which was also built by Joseph Nelson, in 1832 ..."?
  • Both were built by Joseph Nelson in 1832.
  • They were built as a pair to work together but the reference sources say in the 1830s.
burnham-on-sea.com says it was before the lighthouse on legs - but I've been told I can't use that one as its not a reliable source - see discussion above. The developers say 1830 so I shall change it in the article.— Rod talk 21:21, 19 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Listed buildings
  • "The Esplanade along the sea front contains several listed buildings from the early 19th century including number 44 which is also known as Steart House has been converted into flats ...". There's obviously something missing here.
  • Hopefully resolved?
Education
  • "The school is associated with the King Alfred Sport Centre ...". This should be Sports Centre. In what way is it "associated" with the sports centre?
  • Hopefully resolved?
Transport
  • "... and was renamed Burnham on Sea in 1920." Shouldn't that be "Burnham-on-Sea"?
  • Hopefully resolved?
Religious sites

"It has a 78 feet (24 m) high tower, which is caused by the poor foundations." There seems to be something missing here.

  • Hopefully resolved?
Culture
  • This section is really to short to stand alone, and I'd suggest merging it with the Sport section, as in Culture and sport.
  • Hopefully resolved?
Sport
  • "Burnham-on-Sea Swim and Sports Academy on Berrow Road provides a range of sports facilities and hosts a physiotherapy and sports injury clinic." Why "hosts"? Why not just say that the academy has a physiotherapy and sports injury clinic?
  • Hopefully resolved?
  • "The rugby club was founded in 1919 ...". What rugby club, what's its name? Presumably this is a rugby union club?
  • Hopefully resolved?
  • "The rugby club was founded in 1919 but was wound up after the Second World War.[48] After winning the Tribute Somerset Premier in the 2008/2009 season ...". I don't follow this at all. They were wound up, but they still managed to win something in their 2008–9 season?
  • Hopefully resolved?
Notable people
  • This really needs to be converted to prose.
References.
  • There are at least two dead links.[1]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Burnham-on-Sea/GA1&oldid=485233866"