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Talk:Brunei at the 2004 Summer Olympics/GA1

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Reviewer: Miyagawa (talk · contribs) 10:20, 22 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]


Grabbing this for a review.

  • This hadn't occured to me before when reading your articles, but is this technically correct? "Brunei, as Brunei Darussalam, competed at the 2004 Summer Olympics in Athens, Greece, from 13 to 29 August 2004" My query is that they didn't compete between the 13 to 29, only on the days which the relevent events were held. Would it be more accurate to say "... Athens, Greece, which took place between 13 to 29 August 2004"?
    •  Done. After reading one of the sources, it does make sense, considering (for example), the flag bearer for Liechtenstein flew home before the closing ceremony. That's why I wrote it in that fashion, in case the country participated in the closing ceremony. Good888 (talk) 12:20, 22 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The country's participation at Athens marked its fourth appearance at the Summer Olympics" I think "in Athens" would be better than "at Athens".
    •  Done.
  • "of whom was a middle-distance runner" I think you can swap the "of whom" for a "who" and make it flow better.
    •  Done.
  • For the sake of keeping things tidy, I'd just combine the second and third paragraphs of the lead, since the third one is a single sentence. It can just be placed at the end of the second paragraph instead.
    •  Done.
  • Background query - not sure I follow... how did it participate without athletes?
  • Under Athletics, you can drop the mention of being the flag bearer, as you mentioned it in the previous paragraph.
    •  Done

That's the lot. A nice succinct article which covers the topic. Miyagawa (talk) 10:20, 22 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Miyagawa: All done I believe. Thanks for the review. Good888 (talk) 12:20, 22 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]
@Good888: Top notch, happy to promote on that basis as I feel it now meets the GA criteria. Miyagawa (talk) 13:16, 22 July 2016 (UTC)[reply]