Talk:Bruce Kison/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 07:36, 7 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

The second paragraph might be better off divided into two to make it more comfortable to read
"Bothered by a sore shoulder the next couple of years, " - how many years exactly?
Wikilink free agent and bullpen for those unfamiliar with sports terms
Remove the wikilink of the second mention of ERA since the term is already link in the lead
"but struggled with injuries his first couple of seasons" - in his first
Spell out ALCS on the first time it is mentioned
Wikilink scout to Scout (sport)

"before getting selected by the Pittsburgh Pirates in the 14th round of the 1968 Major League Baseball Draft." - the word "Draft" does not need to start with a capital letter

"That strong start netted him" - earned him
"That strong start netted him a call-up to the big leagues for the first time in July," - try not to use the term "big leagues" where possible
"then picked up the win as the Pirates won 9–5," - repetition of the word "won"
"clinching a trip to the World Series." - earning a spot in
"Sent to Charleston to prove himself" - It would help to know what exactly he was proving himself for
"Used as a starter again in September, he won a couple more games," - how many more games exactly?
"After posting an ERA near 6.00 in his first five starts," - ERA close to 6.00
"the start would be one of the best of his career.[25][2]" - refs in numerical order please
"He joined the Pirates' rotation May 23" - Pirates' rotation on May 23
"His most important start of the season came in the Pirates' last game of the year, a game against the Cubs" - repetition of the word "game"
Wikilink free agent

"Kison complained of paralysis in his hand and a lack of feeling in three of his dingers after undergoing surgery on his ulnar nerve." - you mean fingers?
"Kison was the Opening Day starter for the Angels, the first time in his 13 seasons he got a chance to start on Opening Day." - repetition of the phrase "Opening Day"
"Though his career was in jeopardy of being over," - ending
"after giving up 6 runs in three starts in a row." - relinquishing six runs
Wikilink torn rotator cuff to Rotator cuff tear

"He later spent time as the Kansas City Royals' bullpen coach (1992–93), the Royals' pitching coach (1994–98)[51][52][53] and the" -a comma is missing before the stacking of the references
Wikilink scout to Scout (sport)
"for over ten years, retiring after the 2017 season." - more than

The second word in the header of this sub-section doesn't need to begin with a capital letter
"he actually had more walks (92) than strikeouts (89). " - the word "actually" is not needed here
"and he finished his career with over a hundred more innings pitched" - more than

Both the postseason appearances and highlights sections are unreferenced and unnecessary IMO
- Those were already there when I started working on the article. Happy to remove them. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 13:59, 7 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Maybe briefly state what Rich Gossage's position was
- Added explanation earlier on, where Gossage is mentioned in the career section. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 14:02, 7 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The one sentence in this section would be better off placed in the Personal life section and this section deleted afterward

Will put the review on hold to allow the nominator to action/respond to the queries raised here. MWright96 (talk) 12:26, 7 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]