Talk:Brooklyn Union Gas Company Headquarters/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: ZKang123 (talk · contribs) 03:02, 18 October 2023 (UTC)

Beginning review.--ZKang123 (talk) 03:02, 18 October 2023 (UTC)

Lead:

• they contain a large central portico – they feature a large...
• "the first story contained a large public office and exhibition spaces, while the second through seventh stories contained Brooklyn Union Gas offices."
  • Should be first storey
  • Reword to "The first storey encompassed a large public office and exhibition spaces, while the second through seventh stories accommodated Brooklyn Union Gas offices.
• in 1960, as part of an expansion – remove comma

Architecture:

• Might prepare redlinks for John R. Smith's Son Inc. and Hay Walker Brick Co
• The facade is eight stories high and is made of granite and limestone.[7][8] In general, the lowest two floors of the facade are made of granite, while the floors above are clad in limestone.
  • Might shortern and rephrase to: "The eight-story facade is constructed with granite on the lower two levels and limestone on the upper floors."
• The base is two stories high, with a granite facade, and is divided vertically into five bays. The third through sixth floors comprise the shaft, and the seventh and eighth floors constitute the capital; they are both clad in limestone and are divided into 11 bays
  • This repeats the earlier mentions of the materials they are constructed with. I might just remove the mentions of what materials they are made of. Or rather, perhaps you can better organise the paragraph such that you mention all the characteristics of the base (first two stories) and then all the characteristics of the upper floors to prevent repetition of information.
• "The lower half of the portico contains anodized-aluminum doorways, which replaced the original doors." – "Anodized-aluminum doorways, which replaced the original doors, flank the lower half of the portico"
• "the extreme west and east ends of the facade contain quoins" – quoins mark the extreme west and east ends of the facade
• "The sixth floor is a surmounted" – typo?
• "The second through seventh stories contained Brooklyn Union Gas offices." – "Brooklyn Union Gas offices occupy the second through seventh stories"
• "housed the company's distribution department, and street department." – remove comma

History:

• Isn't there an article on James Jourdan and James H. Jourdan? Or are they insignificant people?
• at an estimated cost of $200,000. – might add inflated cost
• This exhibit, according to the Brooklyn Citizen, contained – might use "showcased"
• Wikilink Brooklyn Citizen
• "new headquarters nearby was completed" – "new nearby headquarters"
• "The LPC indicated in February 2009 that it would consider designating the 1914 building as an individual landmark" – "In February 2009, the LPC expressed intent to (potentially) designate the 1914 building as a standalone landmark."

That's all I can find. The article is in pretty good shape. Images used are in public domain or creative commons. Earwig shows only recurring phrases like "The Brooklyn Union Gas Company", though I might suggest a few changes like "width of the building" to "building width".--ZKang123 (talk) 03:02, 18 October 2023 (UTC)

Thanks for the review @ZKang123. I have now fixed all of these except for "storey", which is consistently spelled "story" in American English. Epicgenius (talk) 13:32, 18 October 2023 (UTC)

Suggest going with floor to avoid confusion.--13:51, 18 October 2023 (UTC)

I have gone with "floor". Epicgenius (talk) 14:40, 18 October 2023 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.