Talk:Broken Sword/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Arsenikk (talk · contribs) 10:30, 14 June 2012 (UTC)

Comments

• The fragment "was released only a year later, in 1997," is repetitive, containing both the year and "a year later", and the term "only" is subjective. I would recommend "was released a year later".
• What year was Broken Sword: The Angel of Death released?
• Broken Sword: The Shadow of the Templars - Director's Cut should be Broken Sword: The Shadow of the Templars – Director's Cut(replace they hyphen (-) with an endash (–)). Similar with the other remake.
• Link "playable character"
• "The first three all games..." reads awkward
• Year ranges use an endash, not a hyphen (I've fixed those in the infobox).
• The sentence starting with "Known as Circle of Blood..." reads awkward
• When using an endash as punctuation, it needs to be spaced. Emdashes can be used as punctuation without spaces. (I've fixed this)
• A lot of sentences start with "He wanted"; could you try varying the prose somewhat?
• "meaning that the it would not be" reads awkward.
• The sentence starting with "As for why" is rather heavy, perhaps rephrase along the lines of "To make the game appeal to both the US and European markets, George was made American and Nico was made French". Anyhow, "markets" is lower-case.
• For punctuation, don't use a hyphen, but either a spaced endash or an unspaced emdash.
• Photoshop needs to be linked.
• The development section about the first date needs a launch date.
• The first paragraph under development is very long, perhaps it can be split in two?
• No need to relink Charles Cecil and Revolution. Especially Revolution seems to be linked a lot. Once for the entire article will suffice.
• The sentence starting with "The background layouts..." is long and could be split in two to ease reading.
• Again, I would like to see launch dates in the development section for Broken Sword II.
• "back in 2000" -> "in 2000" (too informal language for an encyclopedia).
• weren't -> were not
• "as why Cecil reduced the number of them" reads awkwardly
• Link Beneath a Steel Sky
• "Publication/Ceremony": ceremony should be lower case.
• If I was making the awards/appearances tables, I would make a separate references column. (This is beyond the GA criteria, just advice, but at FAC I would be more strict).
• I find it a bit difficult to read the bottom table; could the rank be moved one step to the left so it is next to the list.
• I feel the article should contain a brief plot summary of the games. It does not need to be as extensive for the individual games, but right now a reader who has not played the games will not know what they are about (even remotely) without going to the individual articles. I notice for instance Halo (series) has a "story overview" section.
• Is the logo the official logo? If it is, it should be licensed as a {{PD-textlogo}}, not under CC. If it is original enough for CC, it is going to have to be uploaded under fair use.

Nice article, but some picky details to fix. Placing on hold. Arsenikk ^(talk) 10:30, 14 June 2012 (UTC)

One more question: is it possible to reference the story overview section? I know these sections don't normally require refs, but in this case I would have though a so brief summary could be found in the existing reviews. Otherwise looks good. Arsenikk ^(talk) 11:11, 17 June 2012 (UTC)

I guess so. I'll try to add some now. --Khanassassin ☪ 11:21, 17 June 2012 (UTC)

OK, I added the sources. :) --Khanassassin ☪ 11:34, 17 June 2012 (UTC)