Talk:Breton Civil War, 1341/GA1
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Nominator: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 17:51, 12 November 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: Parsecboy (talk · contribs) 16:11, 13 November 2024 (UTC)
And now for something completely different - this should be interesting to read. Parsecboy (talk) 16:11, 13 November 2024 (UTC)
- Um, like the Chinese curse? My first "new" article in 18 months, be gentle with it. Gog the Mild (talk) 16:15, 13 November 2024 (UTC)
- I was thinking Monty Python ;) Parsecboy (talk) 17:37, 13 November 2024 (UTC)
- You mean as in "No one expects the Breton Civil War!" Gog the Mild (talk) 20:47, 13 November 2024 (UTC)
- I was thinking Monty Python ;) Parsecboy (talk) 17:37, 13 November 2024 (UTC)
- Intro:
- I don't think bold font is usually used if it's not the same as the article title - MOS:BOLD isn't exactly explicit, but that's my reading of it.
- Drat ! I knew that. Done.
- "the war between France and England which had broken out in 1337" - this is the Hundred Years' War, right? If so, I'd be more explicit
- It seems a bit anachronistic to know 4 years in that it still has 110 years to go. Now more explicit. Better?
- "It was generally assumed that Charles's claim would prevail" - I thought Charles was only involved as the basis for Joan's claim
- Joan was a woman, so didn't count. I'll see if I can try and summarise it briefly enough for the lead. Tweaked.
- Background:
- "Leaving Nantes John secured" - missing a comma after Nantes
- Not in my opinion, but added. Actually not added. It looks really odd. (To the extent that if I saw it elsewhere I would probably copy edit.) Happy to discuss different schools of commaisation further though.
- Probably an Engvar thing - happy to defer on that point.
- Not in my opinion, but added. Actually not added. It looks really odd. (To the extent that if I saw it elsewhere I would probably copy edit.) Happy to discuss different schools of commaisation further though.
- English intervention:
- "John equivocated, he wished" - something here is not quite right. Swapping the comma for a semi-colon would fix, or rewording
- I put a colon in[?]
- Images all check out (obviously).
- Sources all appear to be high quality. Parsecboy (talk) 17:37, 13 November 2024 (UTC)
- Cheers Parsecboy. I am sending this to FAC at some stage, so feel free to give it a further kicking. Gog the Mild (talk) 20:47, 13 November 2024 (UTC)
- Having a second look at the article, it occurs to me: since this is presumably a sub-article of War of the Breton Succession, shouldn't it be titled War of the Breton Succession, 1341?
- And another thing - I'm guessing you have plans to create other articles in the series for each distinct phase of the war. Should the Template:Campaignbox Breton War of Succession be re-formated to include a section on the chronological order articles? Parsecboy (talk) 01:23, 14 November 2024 (UTC)
- Cheers Parsecboy. I am sending this to FAC at some stage, so feel free to give it a further kicking. Gog the Mild (talk) 20:47, 13 November 2024 (UTC)