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Talk:Bradley Wiggins/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: GAtechnical (talk · contribs) 23:27, 20 February 2013 (UTC) I Shall review in the morning. GAtechnical (talk) 23:27, 20 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry! tomorrow first thing. GAtechnical (talk) 21:18, 21 February 2013 (UTC) GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria[reply]

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:
    Couple of bits needing clarity. Couple of things needing tidying up, I'll comment below.
    B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
    the sentence: after disappointing results at the 2002 Track World Championships in Copenhagen, together with his road career in France going nowhere. Bit subjective that, who judge that. And there are a couple of other examples of this type of wording
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. Has an appropriate reference section:
    B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:
    couple of claims that really should have a ref, particually in the 2012 section. But there are others
    C. No original research:
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:
    B. Focused:
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
    B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:

Prose and refs improvements

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 Done I've added it to the personal life section. BaldBoris 16:23, 1 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

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  • Think you can expand on his track golds. E.g. what disipline did he win titles in and how many times. With the Olympics I think only the Golds are notable for the lead.
 Done BaldBoris 19:51, 14 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • (later promoted to third after Lance Armstrong's results were voided in 2012). Think annulled maybe a better term than voided. Certainly reads better to me.
 Done BaldBoris 19:51, 14 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Think the road WC silver needs to go. The guy has so many wins etc I don't think anything less than that should be in the lead. Although I concur that the Vuelta should stay since there are only 3 Grand Tours. The repeat mention of the Olympic Gold needs to go, just say what discipline it was achieved the first time you mention it or scrub the gold from the first location and have that as a track paragraph then adding it here would make sense as its a road paragraph. Also TDF should go in that paragraph and how about two time winner of the Critérium du Dauphiné or words to that effect whilst keeping the point that it was his first "major win" so you don't have to write it twice?
 Done I've removed the text about his records as it's in the World records and other achievements section. BaldBoris 14:22, 6 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "nominated for the 2013 Laureus World Sports Award for Sportsman of the Year." Really do we need this nomination in the lead. Mean he is only nominated he hasn't won it. And TBH should imo win it but until he does I think it's best not in the lead.
 Done BaldBoris 19:51, 14 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Infobox the Athens and Stuttgart bronze. The city should be linked imo, once per a colour.
 Done BaldBoris 19:51, 14 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Early life

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  • "Dibdin House estate." Should it not be housing estate? All sources for that are books.
It's called Dibdin House. I've restored the book link, in which it's described as "working-class flats". BaldBoris 14:33, 6 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "He discovered cycling when his mother told him to watch the television showing the individual pursuit final of the 1992 Summer Olympics in Barcelona, which Briton Chris Boardman won, explaining that it was one the events his father had been successful at and the blue riband event of track cycling." Very long sentence, is there any way that you can chunk it down or use a ;
 Done Added a ;. Please check if it was used correctly. BaldBoris 18:16, 6 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Perfect use of the semi colon. breaks it up nicely. GAtechnical (talk) 22:50, 9 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "A312 dual carriageway in Hayes, west London." A312 needs linking as its A312 road and Hayes needs linking which is under Hayes, Hillingdon
 Done BaldBoris 15:09, 6 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Does it say anywhere how he did in the London games?
Could only find out that he won a gold when he was 15, in this YouTube video. BaldBoris 15:45, 6 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Shame leave it out then GAtechnical (talk) 22:50, 9 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In 1996, aged sixteen, he won the 1 km time trial at the British Championships at Saffron Lane sports centre in Leicester, and was invited by British selectors to train at weekends at Manchester Velodrome." Bit confused here. Was it the senior national champs or was it an aged group title as it A) seems strange that a 16 year old wins a senior title and B) that the senior champ (if it is) was not held in Manchester which was opened in 94'
 Done It was junior, also added his other titles. BaldBoris 23:16, 8 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Think with the Commonwealths you can link race pages if they exist.
The pages don't exist. BaldBoris 16:08, 6 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
OK then, worth asking with the amount of people creating pages for individual races GAtechnical (talk) 22:50, 9 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Personal life

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  • "he has a younger half-brother, Ryan, from his mother and her new partner Brendan, who split up when Bradley was in his late teens. He also has two half-sisters from relationships his father had in Australia before and after the one with his mother. Wiggins endured a difficult relationship with his father Gary, who made no effort to contact Bradley for 14 years, since leaving the family when Bradley was two years old.[209] Bradley only knew his father had been a professional cyclist. Their first meeting was in 1999, when Bradley was at a training camp in Australia. They next met the following year, when Bradley was back in Australia training and had gone out three weeks in advance to stay with Gary. Bradley quickly became disillusioned at his father's alcohol and drug problems, and they never met again. Gary Wiggins died in Aberdeen, New South Wales in 2008, aged 55." Makes no sense to me. It needs to go into early life OR you need to reintroduce his family as you have his career in between and as a reader I've forgotten by the time I arrive here. But personally I think it works better in the other section but it's up to you if you can't make it work.
 Done I've moved the text about his brother into early life and the text about his sisters into the paragraph about his Dad. BaldBoris 00:10, 9 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Works well. GAtechnical (talk) 22:50, 9 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "He is a keen musician and guitarist and in December 2012 he made a surprise appearance at a Paul Weller charity concert, playing guitar on That's Entertainment." Opportunity to mention the radio show they did together here.
 Done BaldBoris 19:52, 9 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Also from reading though the Cavendish fall out from 08' maybe better suited here as really has not a lot to do with A)Wiggins or B)cycling or his career.
 Done Removed from article, as it's not really notable. BaldBoris 16:06, 6 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Now don't know if you feel this needs to be separate (and if you do, complete this section after GA, it won't change my mind) Wiggins anti doping stance should be mentioned. But as I say I don't know if it's appropriate here.
I don't think there's a need for it. BaldBoris 16:14, 6 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In a period after the 2004 Olympics, Wiggins started to drink heavily, struggling to cope with his new-found fame. In a 2012 interview he said that he would arrive at his local pub when it opened, often staying to drink 12 pints of beer. He said this ended when his son Ben was born, explaining: "We had a baby. So then it was a case of, well, I've got to earn some fucking money and the responsibility takes over."" Feel this would be better in his personal life as this is not the only occasion where he has struggled with fame. When he came out of hospital in 2012 is another example. Also can you help me here, what is Wikipedia's policy on swearing. Do we censor or not?
No thank God WP:CENSOR. BaldBoris 23:21, 9 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Moved those bits to personal life. BaldBoris 19:59, 14 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Career

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2001-03
  • "He made his Grand Tour debut at the 2003 Giro d'Italia, finishing outside the time limit on stage 18." Just for non cycling nuts it's probably better to say he was eliminated from the race when he finished out side of the time limit.
 Done BaldBoris 02:42, 10 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
2004
  • "He went on to win silver in the team pursuit and bronze in the madison with Rob Hayles." From my experience you can't put a reference in the middle of the sentence without it being next to a bit of punctuation.
 Done BaldBoris 03:14, 10 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • The Boardman quote seems a little out of place imo. Maybe better to pop it in the next section where he declares intention or around 08/09 point.
I think it tells us that he showed potential for success on the road and why the next year focused on his road career. It needs to be in that section because that's when it was said. BaldBoris 10:10, 10 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
2005-2007
  • He moved to Cofidis for the 2006 season[68] and was selected to ride in the 2006 Tour de France for the first time in his career, finishing in 124th place." Again as the bit in 04 punctuation and is there anything else to add, as one sentence is slightly out of keep.
 Done I've added some more on 2005. BaldBoris 03:05, 11 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In 2007 Wiggins returned to the track for the 2007 Track World Championships in Palma, Majorca, winning the individual pursuit and team pursuit, helping Great Britain dominate the medal table with seven golds. On the road he won the prologues of the Four Days of Dunkirk and 2007 Critérium du Dauphiné Libéré, before competing in the 2007 Tour de France and finishing fourth in the 7.9 km (5 mi) prologue in London. He won the combativity award on the sixth stage for a long solo breakaway on the 40th anniversary of British rider Tom Simpson's death in the 1967 Tour de France. Cofidis withdrew from the race before stage 16 after their Italian rider Cristian Moreni failed a doping test. Wiggins and his team-mates were interviewed by police. In the aftermath of the positive drug tests on Moreni and on race leader Alexander Vinokourov of Astana, Wiggins spoke out against dopers in the tour and threw away his Cofidis kit in a bin in Pau Pyrénées Airport, vowing never to race for the team again." Take out the GB line. Make both paragraphs one and link it with Back on the road... Also remove their Italian rider. With the threw the kit in the bin comment either use his guardian blog rather than velonation (velonation seemed rather bloggy to me) or any other reliable source such as this.
 Done BaldBoris 03:56, 10 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I've added some more on the 2007 World Championships and his breakaway in the Tour. BaldBoris 23:23, 11 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In August he won the stage 4 time trial of the Tour du Poitou-Charentes[85] and in September, with team-mate Michiel Elijzen, won the Duo Normand, a 53.4 km (33.2 mi) two-man team time trial. His season on the road ended with a tenth place in the time trial at the 2007 Road World Championships in Stuttgart, 2' 10" behind winner Cancellara of Switzerland; a result he was disappointed with, after hoping to finish on the podium." Due to to the previous chuck kit in bin comment, I think it's a good idea to state who he is riding for in these events.
 Done BaldBoris 14:16, 13 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
2008
  • "the heats with a time of 3:55.202, beating Russia to the ride-off for silver and gold." But uneasy about 'beating Russia to the ride-off' as you could come second and still make the final. From reading the article, semi final maybe a better phrase to use.
 Done BaldBoris 16:55, 14 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Could maybe expand the madison races a little bit.
 Done BaldBoris 16:55, 14 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
2009
  • "Wiggins arrived at the Tour de France having lost 6 kilograms." Ok and many in the media dubbed him twiggo. Could be worth mentioning
 Done BaldBoris 02:11, 13 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Wiggins had been contracted to ride for Garmin Slipstream again in 2010, but it was announced in December 2009 that he was to leave to join Team Sky, having signed a four-year contract with the new British team." Bit of a chicken or egg question. 2010 section anyone?
I've left it there because it happened in 2009. BaldBoris 19:15, 12 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
2010
  • "After the Tour de France Wiggins took a break from cycling, deciding not to compete at the 2010 Road World Championships in Australia and the 2010 Commonwealth Games in Delhi." In the overall scheme of things I don't see why this is mentioned. In his biography fine but for wiki I think not.
 Done BaldBoris 19:11, 12 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
2011
  • Sky employed a triathlon coach to train the guys and he suggested the shorter stuff and less racing more training. Think that his name needs to be credited.
If you mean Shaun Stephens, he was appointed in November 2012. Source BaldBoris 02:31, 13 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In March he finished second on stage 3's time trial of the 2011 Critérium International, four seconds down on Klöden." Per MOS Stage 3's needs to be written in words (all numbers under 10) and on several other occasions in this section
Do you mean every instance of stage (number) or just ones with 's? BaldBoris 19:03, 12 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Every time you right a number that is 10 or less numerically, which you do quiet a few times in this section, should be written with words as per MOS
 Done BaldBoris 23:36, 12 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "On 26 June Wiggins won the British National Road Race Championships in Northumberland, his final race before the 2011 Tour de France." The last part of that sentence is OR. IMO Wiki should highlight results and go into detail of the big results little things like that don't really matter so much.
 Done I've removed it. BaldBoris 19:20, 12 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
2012
  • "In 2012 Wiggins continued to focus on road racing." The individual pursuit is no longer an Olympic event, and in December 2011 coach. Judging by the amount that the UCI having pissing about with I think saying at the time the individual pursuit was no longer an Olympic event may serve better in the long run.
 Done BaldBoris 14:48, 13 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In March Wiggins finished second in the opening time trial of the 2012 Paris–Nice, despite setting his time in wet conditions. The following day he took the lead in the race after being part of a 30-man breakaway as the peloton split into echelons. He held the lead for the rest of the event, winning the final stage, a time-trial on the Col d'Èze, to win the race by eight seconds overall and become the first British rider to win the race since Simpson in 1967. His final stage victory was also good enough to give him the points classification." Did it dry out then? IF not don't see the point of adding wet conditions if it was the same for everyone. Also Simpson, I would pop his first name in and link him as he hasn't been mentioned since 2007.
 Done BaldBoris 14:48, 13 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "On stage 1 of the 2012 Tour de Romandie in April." Write first stage or stage one to comply with MOS
 Done BaldBoris 23:37, 12 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Wiggins began defending his 2012 Critérium du Dauphiné title in June with a second place finish in the prologue." How can he do that?
 Done BaldBoris 00:51, 13 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref for leading all the GT's stats.
 Done BaldBoris 23:45, 12 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Froome had appeared to put Wiggins into difficulty at one point, and was ordered to wait for his leader. For his efforts in assisting Wiggins, Froome was lauded in the media as a super-domestique," Full stop on a comma at the end. You go into great detail about stage 14 you could expand this incident a little bit by saying about the communication etc since it was the biggest talking point of the tour
 Done BaldBoris 15:40, 13 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Stage 18 should be mentioned as Wiggins effectively won the tour and dropped Nibali on the final climb the only time he did so and some more interesting team mate stuff, as Wiggo told Froome to go indirect contrast to earlier in the race.
 Done I think you mean stage 17, which I've added. BaldBoris 15:31, 13 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Wiggins rang the bell to start the opening ceremony at the 2012 Summer Olympics." Career? Really? Personal life would be better or where you have the awards at the end of 2012 as lets be honest only got to do that because of the TDF.
 Done BaldBoris 01:30, 13 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • BTW he didn't win the world sportsman of the year. But you may wish to put it in as being nominated is still and incredible achievement considering how many athletes there are.
 Done BaldBoris 11:11, 13 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Everything appears to have been addressed, and the review appears very much comprehensive, so I'm going to close this and pass the article. Wizardman 21:28, 20 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Congrats on this milestone in the progress of the article.joepaT 04:41, 29 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
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