Talk:Brad Hennessey/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 20:04, 14 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this article sometime in the next few days. Wizardman 20:04, 14 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I apologize for the delay. Haven't been able to get in a review mood. This will be looked at tomorrow night at the absolute latest. Wizardman 15:51, 20 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Here are the issues I found:

"He did not pitch in 2002 because of surgery to remove a non-cancerous tumor from his back, but in 2004, he reached the major leagues for the first time." The 2002 and 2004 part would read better as separate sentences.
spell out and link earned run average on first mention (in lead), putting (ERA) in parentheses. You do so in the body, but it should be done earlier.
"He made his debut on August 7, against" no comma needed.
There's a couple stray dashes that need to be formatted (2-2), though you got most of them.
"Lowry's return to the starting rotation on April 9, though" pretty sure the date's wrong, unless Lowry returned from an injury one week before he ever had the injury.
"Hennessey converted 17 out of 19 saves from May 30 to August 31" combining this with the previous sentence may be helpful, since as is it just sounds redundant.
Almost every paragraph either starts with Hennessey or a date. Try and make that less repetitive.
The subsections aren't really necessary; I went ahead and already removed them on one part, but they could be removed for the majors too.
The article relies a bit heavily on MLB.com for my taste. Not a GA issue really, just something I noticed.
Not really sure how you would fix this, but the career feels rather stat-heavy. I don't get much of a feel about how the Giants planned to use him when he was in the majors aside from the one sentence in 2006. If you can find more like that to add to the article it would be helpful.

I thought the article touched on that in areas where it says Hennessey was called up and then mentions that he made starts in place of some injured player (such as Lowry or Williams). Then, there is also the sentence where Alou named Hennessey the closer. I think it already mentions how the Giants planned to use him in the majors. For whatever reason, Hennessey did not seem to get as much coverage as you would expect a first-round draft pick to get. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 10:27, 22 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I'll put the article on hold and will pass when the issues are fixed. Wizardman 03:56, 22 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Issues addressed; thanks for the review! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 10:27, 22 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Not a problem. The lack of coverage is a fair point, thought I would have figured there'd be a bit more since he played during the internet era. Everything now checks out though, so I'll pass the article. Wizardman 22:09, 22 August 2013 (UTC)[reply]