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GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Nominator: HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk · contribs)

Reviewer: Bruxton (talk · contribs) 16:43, 22 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]


Review

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I am happy to review this article. I go through the review rather methodically. I will make suggestions for you to consider. Bruxton (talk) 16:43, 22 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Bruxton, Thanks so much for taking on this article! HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 18:36, 22 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@HickoryOughtShirt?4: I have completed much of the review and will do a final check after you have a look at the concerns listed. Bruxton (talk) 14:35, 23 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@HickoryOughtShirt?4: Thank you for your edits. There is one concern that has not been addressed and I marked it as not done below. Bruxton (talk) 19:52, 23 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Yes, sorry I wasn’t done yet. Will complete it shortly. HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 21:51, 23 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

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Green tickY all of the facts in the lead are repeated in the body with citations. The lead appears to summarize the article well

Grammar

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Lead

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Green tickY "As a youth, Jenner played four seasons of major junior hockey" Consider, is there another word we can use in place of youth?  Done
  • I changed it to teenager because he was 19 in his last season, thus still a teenager.
Green tickY "Due to his junior play, Jenner was selected by Columbus" Due to his junior play feels clumsy to me  Done
  • Changed to His play with the Generals resulted in....
Green tickY "Jenner won gold" consider "gold medal"  Done

Early life

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Green tickY "to parents Matt and Terri Jenner as the youngest of three boys" consider "and he was the youngest"  Done

Amateur

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Green tickY "Jenner was a runner up" I think in this context "runner–up" should be hyphenated  Done
Green tickY "Rookie of the year" consider capitalizing "Year"  Done
Green tickY "to regain his scoring touch" consider that "scoring touch" is ambiguous and colloquial  Done
  • Changed to After coming back to the lineup, he faced difficulties in recapturing his scoring form
Green tickY "before being returned to the Generals" consider this makes him seem like a thing that was returned. Maybe "he returned"  Done
Green tickY "While Jenner did not play in Canada's bronze medal game due to a suspension," consider there was no talk of his suspension prior to the sentence.  Done
  • I added the word elbowing
Green tickY hat trick should bee both linked and hyphenated "hat-trick" first occurrence  Done
Green tickY 2–1 and others like it should probably be 2–1  Done
Green tickY "although they would eventually be eliminated" should probably be past tense "they were"  Done

Early years (2012–2016)

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Green tickY "whom helped him score his first and second NHL goals on October" maybe consider changing whom to who  Done
Green tickY "His rookie season was cut short however" consider His rookie season ended after he suffered a leg injury"  Done
Green tickY "He also helped the team set a new franchise record with an eight consecutive winning streak" consider "eight consecutive wins"  Done
Green tickY "Jenner was held to only 31 games during" consider "Jenner only played in 31 games during"  Done
Green tickY "Jenner was shortly thereafter placed on their injured" consider "shortly thereafter" seems clumsy  Done
Green tickY "power play goals" consider hyphenating power-play  Done
Green tickY "He continued to produce offensively" consider produce on offense  Done

Finding post-season success, captaincy (2016–present)

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Green tickY "Jenner experienced a brief dip in scoring" brief dip seems colloquial and undefined  Done
  • Changed to slowed down
Green tickY "by the mid-point of February" consider middle  Done
Green tickY "Coming off his poor season" consider After his poor season  Done
Green tickY "In spite of the move" consider "Despite"  Done I may have been mistaken about this request and have placed a message for the nominator. talk page message Bruxton (talk) 18:19, 26 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]
? "Jenner still experienced lengthy scoring droughts" consider a better word in place of droughts  Done
  • I merged this sentence and the next so it now says Despite the move, Jenner still struggled to score consistently until the Blue Jackets acquired Thomas Vanek after the NHL Trade Deadline
Green tickY "They struggled to develop chemistry as a line" consider that develop chemistry may not be easy for non english speakers to understand since nothing involves science here.  Done
  • Just removed it so it now says They struggled as a line and were slow to produce points over the first few games of their series against the Washington Capitals
Green tickY "offseason training regime." consider "regimen"  Done
Green tickY "The trio immediately developed chemistry together" consider other description of their ability to work together
  • Just removed it so it now says The trio immediately became a line that was considered to "embody the club’s identity."
Green tickY "Jenner went pointless" consider "went without scoring a goal"  Done
Green tickY " Anderson returned the lines were once again rearraigned. Jenner" consider another word for "rearraigned" or correct spelling  Done
Green tickY "Although his linemates shuffled due to injuries in the lineup" consider that this wording seems clumsy  Done
Green tickY "He began the season strong, tallying two goals" consider another word for strong  Done
Green tickY "play all of his 500th career NHL games" 500th seems incorrect in this sentence  Done
Green tickY "Jakub Voracek and playing on the top power play unit." I think power play needs hyphen  Done
Green tickY "they immediately returned to form and picked up in scoring." consider copyediting the sentence as is ambiguous in descrioption  Done
Green tickY "In spite of their production, the Blue Jackets maintained a losing 20–22–1" consider "Despite"  Done
Green tickY "passing Cam Atkinson for second most played in franchise history." consider adding a determiner like "the" before second  Done
Green tickY "In spite of his personal achievements during the season" consider removing "personal"  Done
Green tickY "On November 18, Jenner skating in his 675th" consider using the past tense "skated"  Done
Green tickY Playing style and Personal life sections are both ok

Citations

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Green tickY Early life section citations check out
Green tickY "Due to their struggles, former Blue Jackets assistant coach Gary Agnew took over as head coach for the Generals in early November." The source behind the citation is just a hiring announcement but does not say why he was hired.  Done
Green tickY Playing career Amateur Spot checked the majority and the rest of citations and they line up.
Green tickY Professional Early years (2012–2016) "Jenner and fellow rookie Jack Johnson scored their first playoff goals within three minutes of each other during Game 3" this might be a slight misinterpretation of the reference, it actually says "scoring a pair of goals in the first three minutes"  Done
Green tickY Professional Early years (2012–2016) "Following his successful rookie season, Jenner was held to only 31 games during the 2014–15 NHL season due to various injuries" this line needs a reference because it is not supported by the citation.
Green tickY Finding post-season success, captaincy (2016–present) (to be done) Not an error, but should we list his nickname in the article? Bam Bam?
Green tickY Finding post-season success, captaincy (2016–present) citations support the text in the rest of the section
Green tickY Playing style citation supports the section
Green tickY Personal life citations support the section
Green tickY Career statistics I must admit I was not sure if this section needed to be cited. I checked other sports articles Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers and I see that these types of charts are not cited.
Green tickY Awards and honours section the citation supports this section

Images

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Green tickY There are three images used in the article and all seem to be properly licensed and free.

Chart

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100% reviewed

   

Rate Attribute Review Comment
1. Well-written:
1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct. Yes
1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation. Yes
2. Verifiable with no original research:
2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline. Yes
2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose). Yes
2c. it contains no original research. Yes
2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism. Yes
3. Broad in its coverage:
3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic. Yes
3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style). Yes
4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each. Yes
5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute. Yes
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content. Yes
6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions. Yes
7. Overall assessment. Good work! Thank you for contributing a good article!
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.