Talk:BonBon/GA1
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 06:22, 13 April 2022 (UTC)
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This looks like a larger article than most of yours, will start a review shortly! --K. Peake 06:22, 13 April 2022 (UTC)
Infobox and lead
[edit]Dancehall should not be capitalised, also why are the genres ordered differently in the infobox from elsewhere?Remove the musically part from the fourth sentence, starting with "A dance-pop..." followed by the other genres"with its Albanian-language lyrics implying an" → "its Albanian-language lyrics imply an""as well as Istrefi's appearance and vocal delivery, being linkened to" → "Some praised Istrefi's vocal delivery, linkening it to" as a new sentence"and reaching the top 20 in multiple countries." → "and reaching the top 10 in four other countries." per top 20 not being mentioned anywhere in the body"It became Istrefi's breakthrough" → "The song became Istrefi's breakthrough"""BonBon" was awarded" → "It was awarded" removing the high sales part that is implied"including platinum in" → "alongside a platinum certification in" and mention the French certification organizationRemove the word official from the YouTube channel part, as that is impliedRemove her dress style per lack of notability for the lead
Background and composition
[edit]The Balkans is not directly mentioned by the sourceThe song being her first ever to chart in Albania is not mentioned by the source, so either add a chart history or remove this part"made its international breakthrough" → "made her international breakthrough""with the production by" → "with the production handled by"Pipe mastered to Mastering (audio)Pipe mixed to Audio mixing (recorded music)[8] should be solely at the end of the sentence before [9]Where are some of the lyrics being in English specifically sourced? If not, add the Billboard ref here."and sings about self-love and that she do not" → "singing about self-love and how she does not"
Reception and accolades
[edit]Retitle to Reception since there is only two accolades"was met with generally positive reviews" → "was met with widespread acclaim""appearance and vocal delivery, and constantly compared them" → "vocal delivery, constantly comparing it" since she is the lead artist[7][11][12][13][14] is too many refs at the end of one sentence per WP:OVERCITE; move some around the sentence to appropriate pointsGive context showing that the link to Major Lazer was praise- What makes Think In Electronic reliable; I cannot see evidence of even any editorial process?
- If the above source is kept, remove South African website introduction and write "The staff of" before it
- Reference is now [53] Iaof2017 (talk) 16:17, 13 April 2022 (UTC)
Remove German radio station introduction to BigFM and do not italicise itWikilink as reggae instead- "were destined for" → "was destined for" but the evening quote is not sourced
- It's mentioned in the end "sind aber auch prädestiniert für einen gemütlichen Chill-Abend" Iaof2017 (talk) 16:20, 13 April 2022 (UTC)
"Fans of "BonBon" include" → "Fans of "BonBon" included" and start a new para at this point, as the info is separate from reviewsPipe to Top Music Awards 2016 should be on 2016 Top Music AwardsRemove wikilink on Tirana per WP:OVERLINK on obvious ones
Commercial performance
[edit]The Greece, Romania and Sweden charts should come after all of the others since they are secondary ones"were achieved in countries including the" → "were achieved in the" because these are all of the remaining top 10 positionsThe source for Slovakia is not loading"Switzerland,[42] and Ukraine." → "Switzerland[42] and Ukraine.""was awarded gold in" → "was awarded gold certifications in""also received platinum" → "also received a platinum" and mention when this one was, as it's the most notable certification
Music video
[edit]- Img looks good!
"After being signed to the label," → "After she was signed to the label,"Remove word official from the second sentence because that is implied after the previous oneThe clip being filmed during winter season is not sourced"dressed up in a" → "dressed in a"
Live performances and other usage
[edit]Remove pipe on Top Music Awards"In June 2016, the singer provided live performances at the Top Music Awards in Tirana," → "In 2016, the singer provided live performances at the Top Music Awards in June,""in July 2016,[55] the" → "in July and the" moving [55] solely to the end of the sentence"in September 2016,[56] and the" → "in September.[56] She later performed the song at the"Shouldn't the Skopje Calling Festival performance be mentioned alongside Top Music Awards per them both being in June?Mention when she performed the song on those shows"in 2016, and on" → "in 2016 and in""a performance of the recording" → "performances of the recording"
Credits and personnel
[edit]Pipe Cricket to Cricket (producer)
Track listing
[edit]- Good
Charts
[edit]Weekly charts
[edit]TopHit → TophitNone of the Slovakia positions are loading on the website
Year-end charts
[edit]Pipe PROPHON to International Federation of the Phonographic Industry
Certifications
[edit]- Good
Release history
[edit]- Good
References
[edit]- Copyvio score looks incredible at 4.8%!!!
Wikilink Top Channel on ref 2 instead of ref 27- Remove United States from ref 3's title and add the appropriate citation(s) to back up a various release
- There are unfortunately no other available sources regarding the first version released in December 2015, I changed the region only for the US Iaof2017 (talk) 16:17, 13 April 2022 (UTC)
- What exactly makes ref 4 a reliable source?
- Source moved to "Promotion..." section, there are no other citation regarding the music video location Iaof2017 (talk) 16:17, 13 April 2022 (UTC)
Pipe MTV to MTV (British and Irish TV channel) on ref 9Cite Billboard as work/website instead on refs 11 and 84, only wikilinking on the formerIndependent → The Independent on ref 12Cite Vice as work/website instead on ref 14Wikilink Telegrafi on ref 17WP:OVERLINK of Billboard on ref 28TopHit → Tophit on refs 34, 43, 75, 78 and 80- Can you find source(s) working to replace refs 41 and 71?
- I couldn't find anything, the selected period is not displayed on the official website and was even not archived anywhere Iaof2017 (talk) 16:17, 13 April 2022 (UTC)
Cite YouTube in the via parameter for ref 51, while adding Nesër as publisherDo the same via parameter for ref 52 as above and cite Ultra Music as publisherRef 62 should cite Telegrafi as work/website insteadWP:OVERLINK of Apple Music on ref 66Pipe PROPHON to International Federation of the Phonographic Industry on ref 74
Final comments and verdict
[edit]- On hold until all of the issues are fixed; that took slightly longer than most of your noms! --K. Peake 08:59, 13 April 2022 (UTC)
- Hi Kyle Peake. I solved your comments except for that one where I left a response. PS: I merged the "Music video" and "Live performances and other usage" sections. Iaof2017 (talk) 16:12, 13 April 2022 (UTC)
- Iaof2017 The prose still says various countries for the citation that only backs up the United States, fix this. --K. Peake 16:50, 14 April 2022 (UTC)
- Kyle Peake done. :) Iaof2017 (talk) 17:29, 14 April 2022 (UTC)
- ✓ Pass now, solid job yet again! --K. Peake 19:55, 14 April 2022 (UTC)
- Kyle Peake done. :) Iaof2017 (talk) 17:29, 14 April 2022 (UTC)
- Iaof2017 The prose still says various countries for the citation that only backs up the United States, fix this. --K. Peake 16:50, 14 April 2022 (UTC)
- Hi Kyle Peake. I solved your comments except for that one where I left a response. PS: I merged the "Music video" and "Live performances and other usage" sections. Iaof2017 (talk) 16:12, 13 April 2022 (UTC)