Talk:Bombus polaris

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Vsalazar258. Peer reviewers: Narayanan anagha, Callisons.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 16:04, 16 January 2022 (UTC)

Assignment for Class

Hello! I'm contributing to this article for a class assignment. Please let me know if you have any feedback on the work I contributed. I also was not able to find a picture of the organism on wikimedia. Please let me know if you can find one. Thank you so much!! Vsalazar258 (talk) 03:46, 16 October 2015 (UTC)

Peer Edit

Hello! I am an undergraduate student at Washington University in St. Louis and I am editing this article regarding Bombus Polaris to improve the content. The introduction to this article was very concise and succinct, but I think it could do better with an interesting fact or aspect of the bee that may capture the reader’s attention. The fact about its ability to live in arctic temperature is very interesting, but maybe another fact about its behavior may add more intrigue. The taxonomy and phylogeny section is also very short and touches upon what species the B. polaris is close to, but it doesn’t go into the history of the bee. Also there is no genetic information regarding the bee. The description and identification section is well-written because it starts getting specific about the traits that make the bee so unique. I changed the heading titles in order to make the reader understand what the content is about. I made a new section for nests because I believe that nests should be separate from the identification and description of the bee itself. The nest section has good content and flows very well! However, I thought there was not enough information regarding the behavior of the bee. Expanding on this section would greatly improve this article. All in all, I thought this was a very informative article and a good read! Junsang.cho (talk) 21:50, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

Page Edits

Overall, I thought it was a well-written article, with only a few instances of confusing language, which I either fixed, or recommended to change in the recommendations below.

Recommendations: • Add more details to Taxonomy to give more history on the bee such as Family, Genus, etc. • Maybe for all of the specific temperatures, give it in Fahrenheit as well. • In Appearance (workers), the sentence: “The variation in the color of the pubescence is noticeable variable” is kind of confusing. I think removing variable helps, but I didn’t want to change the meaning if I was misunderstanding. • Maybe explain what a “hatch camera” and other random phrases in Nest structure are. • If alpine means that they use the upper part of the mountains, I would blend the two sentences in Distribution and Habitat to make them flow better. I would have done it myself, but I wasn't sure if that's what you were trying to say. • “Arctic bumblebee larvae grow fast, but only they experience a near tropical environment due to the heat production of their queen and later also of the workers.” Confusing sentence in Colony Growth Callisons (talk) 02:51, 23 October 2015 (UTC)

Peer Edits

This article is a good start. Mainly, I made changes to spelling / grammar / tense / missing articles / etc. Sentence structure was fine overall, but were some confusing instances that I corrected. Additionally, wikipedia's style guide suggests that we italicize species names, but leave the names of genera and other higher orders unitalicized. I corrected these where I came across them. The research was sound and well-cited and referenced. I mainly made changes to the section on nesting, where I found the wording to be too close to the source material, and changed it to suit a lay-person's understanding. I think the most critical thing that this article is missing is information on sex ratios and sex ration maintenance in this bee. This is documented behavior for this bee species, and literature exists that covers it, so I think it would be valuable to expand upon that in future revisions. Narayanan anagha (talk) 04:49, 23 October 2015 (UTC)

Feedback

Great article overall! I would definitely try to add a photo to your right hand box and a range map if possible. I changed Ferruginous to “deep rust color” because there wasn’t a page to link to and I don’t think that color is common knowledge. I think that the thermoregulation information under Nests could be moved up under the thermoregulation subheading. I would either explain what a Hatch Camera is, or find a page to link it to. Claire.packer (talk) 23:42, 27 November 2015 (UTC)

Peer review

I corrected some errors of inappropriate inter-Wiki link usage in the first paragraph, this time with the hyperlinks included for the Arctic Circle in which the species is found. I also corrected a few basic grammatical errors in the section of “interaction with other species”. Moreover, at first look, it seems as though the article is quite long which is great! However, I would perhaps consider delving further in depth into different individual sections as some subheadings, such as those under life history and survivorship curves, seem to be composed of only a sentence or two of content. Other than that, I really enjoyed the writing style as I think it’s quite advanced and seems apt to be on Wikipedia. I also appreciated the use of numerous in text citations and references as they helped to advance the diction and authority of the article. Missmanasa (talk) 04:47, 2 December 2015 (UTC)

Peer Review

I added a few sentences to the beginning paragraph of the article to flesh it out a little bit so people get a better idea of how the bee lives in such a cold climate. I would also recommend either expanding on some subsections or condensing them so that there are not multiple sections containing only a few sentences. Under life history and survivorship curves you could condense the different roles in the colony to one subsection labeled "roles" and I would also recommend combining the two sections on appearance. Kjkozak (talk) 18:56, 4 December 2015 (UTC)

Peer review

I changed the second to last sentence in the Taxonomy and phylogeny section to make it grammatically correct. For future reference, try to avoid using the same word twice in a sentence. I corrected this twice in the Appearance (Workers) category ("variation" in the first sentence and "some" in the last sentence). Also, I think that the two Appearance categories could be combined, but this is a minor critique. However started two sentences in a row, so I removed the second one (in the Nests section). I also think that all of the categories in the Life History and Survivorship Curves could be combined into one substantial paragraph instead of four small lines. I would like to see a picture of the bee and a distribution(location) map, but I understand that it is sometimes difficult to obtain these. I added a few hyperlinks as well. Overall, the page is interesting, but I would like to see more about the thermoregulation (is it special) and the predators. One last note; Headings should only have the first word capitalized (i.e. Description and identification not Description and Identification).Floyd Burney (talk) 04:27, 5 December 2015 (UTC)