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Talk:Bombardment of Salé/GA1

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Reviewer: Ceradon (talk · contribs) 00:28, 4 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Rate Attribute Review Comment
1. Well-written:
1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.
  • the Sharif - I know you linked this, but please give a description of who the Sharif are. Suggestion: "in Salé, the city's nobility, called (or 'known as') the Sharif,"
  •  Done
  • Meanwhile, in France, anger against Morocco was increasing. A series of incidents in October 1849 damaged relations between both countries. anger among who? the French elite? the Frenchmen? the government? What were the series of incidents that caused the damage to the relation ship and/or the vexation of the people.
  •  Done
  • caused by drought - caused by a drought or caused by a series of droughts?
  •  Done
  • In Salé, many people were starving, and the agricultural crisis and anger towards France ultimately led to the bombardment of Salé. Okay, this isn't connecting for me. If there was a drought/a couple droughts, what did France do that they were angry against them? The reasons for the anger, from both France and Morocco, isn't clearly explained.
  • I've clarified the reasons for anger. I've been unsure about how I could explain the agricultural crisis was relevant - it was relevant because the people of Salé were starving, and stole the goods in order to survive.
  • where they picked up Julius Doazan who is Julius Doazan and what's his role in the bombardment?
  •  Done, he was simply the consul - France's representative in Morocco
  • The French crews - crews of what ship(s)?
  •  Done
  • Gomer prepared for battle - prepared how? please clarify.
  •  Done
  • forty battery artillery weapons - nonsensical. Perhaps, forty batteries of artillery weapons" is what you meant?
  •  Done, indeed.
  • and the artillery in Rabat were rendered useless. how were they rendered useless?
  •  Done
  • The battle gained intensity when did it gain intensity and how? Did French fire intensify? Did Moroccan fire intensify?
  •  Done
  • the batteries were removed from the city who removed the batteries? Why were the batteries moved in the middle of a firefight?
  •  Done
  • resistance did not stop until 5:00 p.m. when you say resistance didn't stop until 5, do you mean the Moroccans didn't stop firing until 5:00 or something else?
  • That the Moroccans didn't stop firing until 5:00 p.m.
1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
  • Good here
2. Verifiable with no original research:
2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.
  • All the things that are likely to be challenged are cited.
2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
2c. it contains no original research.
  • Not that I see.
3. Broad in its coverage:
3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.
  • Okay here as well.
3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
  • Good.
4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
  • It is neutral, giving equal weight to both sides.
5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
  • No recent edit wars/conflicts.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.
  • Good
  • The image in the lede section is gorgeous when you look at it closely, by the way.
6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.
  • In the Louis Dubourdieu picture, please give a solid description of who he was and his involvement with the topic.
  •  Done
7. Overall assessment.