Talk:Bolton Wanderers F.C./GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Casliber (talk · contribs) 02:04, 21 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Right, I will copyedit as I go (please revert if I accidentally change the meaning) and jot queries below. Casliber (talk · contribs) 02:04, 21 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Founder members of the Football League, Bolton have spent the highest number of seasons in the top flight without winning the title (the 2011–12 season was their 73rd, non-consecutive year in the top flight). ~~- I had to read this twice to figure out what it meant - need to add "of any club" somewhere to clarify....~~

I have added this in. Johnnaylor (talk) 11:40, 21 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

~~and the match was awarded to Bolton, who were then defeated 9–1 by Preston North End.~~ ~~- in the final/semi-final...please insert level of match~~

The match was relatively inconsequential (2nd round in a competition with 7+ rounds) but is included as it remains the club's record defeat to this day. Would you recommend that it remains given that information? Johnnaylor (talk) 11:40, 21 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, I'd slot in "Second round" to give it context....Casliber (talk · contribs) 12:15, 21 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Done Johnnaylor (talk) 14:16, 21 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

~~The club was founded by the Reverend Thomas Ogden, the schoolmaster at Christ Church in 1874 as Christ Church FC~~ - (i) don't bold the name in the body of the text (the original name should be in the lead, and should be bolded there) (ii) can we link Christ Church (is it notable school?), and (iii) should it be "F.C.", not "FC"?

To reply to each point in turn: (i) I have now done this, I hope it is satisfactory. (ii) Christ Church was just a church, it has long since been deconsecrated and demolished and has no article on wikipedia that I can find. (iii) Yes, good catch! Johnnaylor (talk) 11:40, 21 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

~~Innovation factory of the University of Bolton~~ ~~- can part of this be linked to somwehre (just the university?)~~

I've linked the University Johnnaylor (talk) 11:46, 21 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

~~Can we add an anecdote about their nickname "The trotters" somewhere?~~

Added to the "colours and badge" section, for want of a better place for it. Johnnaylor (talk) 15:03, 21 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

~~Given the 20's was one of their heydays, it'd be good to mention some key players of the time in a sentence or two (i.e. what players made them so successful)~~

I have split the last paragraph of the early history section in half, and added a few words on the major players of the 1920s team. Johnnaylor (talk) 18:38, 21 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Incidentally, I can see History of Bolton Wanderers F.C., which is good it has been carved out of main article as it is very heavily focussed on recent years. In fact, if you are not sure what to priotise, I am sure dumping a large amount of material in there and then selecting what to transfer to main article is ok too.

Not entirely sure what you are suggesting here; are you saying I should cut down the History section further? Johnnaylor (talk) 16:17, 21 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Nevermind. Casliber (talk · contribs) 20:07, 21 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

~~In the Rivalries section, the word "rivalry" is used about five times in a short space of words - anyway we can reduce the number of times the word is used makes for better reading.~~

I've rewritten this section, but it still uses "rivals" and "rivalry" several times as I cannot think of a way to phrase it using synonyms. Is this ok? Johnnaylor (talk) 14:27, 21 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Agree - I figured this might be tricky....Casliber (talk · contribs) 20:07, 21 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

~~Some geography on where Horwich is in relation to the city centre would be good.~~

added a half sentence to the stadiums section, using the location of the stadium itself rather than Horwich proper as it is on the boundary between Horwich and Lostock. Johnnaylor (talk) 14:24, 21 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

~~I added some ^{[citation needed]} tags - I am trying to give this a big as a shove as possible towards FAC too~~.

I will work through these. Most were previously referenced from the club's own website, which isn't great but also broke the links when the club updated its website last year, so they were removed! Johnnaylor (talk) 11:40, 21 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

All those facts tagged as citation needed now have citations Johnnaylor (talk) 16:17, 21 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

~~A sentence or 2-3 on their league finishes before WWI and then between the wars? looks a bit sparse otherwise....~~

I have added a paragraph on this before the paragraph on the White Horse Final, though it only mentions the 4 years before and 10 years after WWI as this was a period of notable success. Johnnaylor (talk) 12:01, 26 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Overall though, some lively and engaging writing too. Will continue to look at prose as we get content right. Casliber (talk · contribs) 03:36, 21 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

1. Well written?:

Prose quality: