Talk:Boaz Eidelberg/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Willbb234 (talk · contribs) 11:27, 3 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this article, but it looks like a fail, I'm afraid. I'll explain below.

Perhaps the most glaring issue is the large unreferenced sections. Half of the 'early life' section is unreferenced. Most of the 'academic education' section is unreferenced and the sources there are are generally unsuitable. A yearbook, for example, does not constitute a WP:RS. Also using books and papers published by the subject of the article itself isn't reliable. The rest of the article also lacks references.
There are random bullet pointed words in the body of the article. For sub-sections, please use three equal signs "===" like this.
There are WP:NPOV issues in the article. Examples of this are as follows:

In another project he gave two of his Japanese customers a plane ride around Manhattan, flying over the legendary USS Intrepid (CV-11), unreferenced statement which is merely trivial information in an attempt to promote the subject.
His online lectures reach thousands of viewers across the globe some of which express the impact it made on their career. "I have chosen "I was a client of Boaz", but actually I didn't need to pay him for the excellent service he delivered. The reason is that he didn't charge access to his fenomenal "Mechatronics Overview" course on YouTube. I would happily buy it after watching a preview on Udemy, because his material is significantly simple, short, objective, integrative, business-minded and hands-on. Mr. Eidelberg is one of my main references in this new journey of mine: bringing the best I could learn from Linguistics to becoming an automation specialist as knowledgeable and successful as him. I highly recommend Mr. Boaz Eidelberg's Mechatronics videos. They are a must-see to anyone new in Automation, Mechatronics & Robotics, as well as to those who still doubt (as I did) the possibility and relevance of pushing forward to a doctoral degree AND managing their yown Robotics consulting business. Das ist Super! Vielen Dank! Very promotional. Source is a LinkedIn page, which is certainly not reliable.
Regular mentions of his hobby of flying planes. Trivial information not suitable for inclusion.

Generally unreliable sources including to Facebook and LinkedIn.

I hope this makes sense. Please see WP:GA for more details on Good Articles and also to view the criteria. If you have any questions, please talk to me on my talk page. Kind regards, Willbb234^Talk (please {{ping}} me in replies) 11:38, 3 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the GA comments. The following are corrective actions which were taken-

Removed 'early life' section which is unreferenced
added "lacks of references" for MSU degree
Fixed subsections
Removed the "Very promotional" link from Linked in
Removed most of "flying hobby mentions"
Removed "unreliable sources including to Facebook"

I Hope it makes more GA sense Beidelberg (talk) 16:33, 4 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]