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Talk:Blue Panther/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewing

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Reviewer: Ceranthor (talk · contribs) 19:26, 16 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]


I'll review this. ceranthor 19:26, 16 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Prose

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Lead
  • "Vázquez two oldest sons" - missing an 's?
  • "Vázquez two oldest sons are also professional wrestlers, working for CMLL, with both Blue Panther Jr. and Black Panther making their CMLL debut in late 2013" - I assume these are his sons, but you don't state that explicitly. This sentence needs to be reworded. Also "working for CMLL" doesn't need to be offset by commas
  • " in ring debut" - elsewhere you've used "in-ring"; which is it?
  • "He was the first CMLL World Middleweight Champion as well as having won the Mexican National Middleweight Championship twice, the CMLL World Trios Championship twice and the Mexican National Trios Championship." - Rather than "as well as having won," which is wordy, what about "and has won" - less words, reads better, says the same thing
  • "He won the 1999 Torneo Gran Alternativa, and the 2000 Leyenda de Plata tournaments." - I'd add "also" before "won" here; get rid of the comma, as you don't need it
  • "In his career, he's" - no contractions; see MOS:CONTRACTION; also I'd restate Blue Panther or Vásquez here rather than "he" since it's a new paragraph
  • "Vázquez his own gym in the early 1990s," - word missing
Professional wrestling career
  • "in ring skills" - same note as above; is "in ring" hyphenated or not?
  • "given several opportunities to show off his in ring skills and rise up the ranks" - "rise up the ranks" is an idiom and might not read easily for non-native-English speakers
  • "His first reign lasted 190 days, ended by El Solar on May 25, 1987." - need to add "and was" between days and ended, otherwise this is a fragment
  • "On September 18, 1988, Blue Panther's second, and final," - don't really need the commas
  • "Although Blue Panther was unsuccessful in his August title challenge, the feud established him as a top rudo in EMLL[c] " - missing punctuation
  • "CMLL branded championships" - "CMLL-branded"
  • "which under Lucha Libre rules caused him to be disqualified and thus losing the match" - should be "lose" the match, not "losing"
  • "then CMLL-booker" - I think "then" should also be hyphenated here
  • "and would proceed to hold the title for 665 days" - I'd cut out "would proceed to hold" and just make it "and held the title..."
  • "His second reign lasted a total of 609 days," - wait, but when was his second reign?
  • "before Pather" - typo I think
  • "In 1998, Panther teamed with Dr. Wagner Jr. and his real-life nephew Black Warrior to form "Los Laguneros."" - confused; earlier you kept punctuation outside of quotation marks but here you included it within; pick a punctuation style and use it throughout!
  • "Fuerza Guerrera replaced Black Warrior on the team and they won another tournament for the CMLL World Trios title but they reigned for only three months before dropping the titles to Black Warrior, Atlantis, and Mr. Niebla." - run-on; need one or two commas here
  • Why keep using "Martinete" as opposed to piledriver?
  • "a tag team tournament teaming up wrestlers who would never team up otherwise." - wordy
Professional wrestling trainer
  • Seems fine. Perhaps a bit short.
Professional wrestling style
  • "The "Nudo Lagunero" is a Standing figure-four leglock" - why capitalize Standing?
  • "first wraps a prone opponents legs" - missing an apostrophe in opponents
Personal life
  • "A third son, birth date unknown," - I'd add a bit - how about "whose birth date is unknown"
  • "He is the uncle of Jesus Toral Lopez" - Blue Panther? You just say he so it's unclear!
  • "Vázquez owns and operates his own Chiropractic clinic" - no need to capitalize chiropractic
Footnotes
  • Some have periods at the end; others don't - be consistent
  • Since the other footnotes start out capitalized, footnote H should be as well

References

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  • It appears that none of the "30 Año 2008" references are actually linking to the source. I see "Harv error: link from CITEREF30_Año2008 doesn't point to any citation." for all of them.
  • I will figure this out.
  • What makes CageMatch reliable?
  • What makes Estrellas del Ring reliable?
  • Has a staff of regular editors, have posted error corrections over the years.
  • What makes ESTO reliable?
  • It is a Mexican print/online magazine with an established editorial process
  • What makes The Gladiatores reliable?
  • It is a Mexican online publisher that covers various "fighting events", has an established editorial process
  • For ref 46, is it supposed to say "publisher" after "HarperCollins"?
  • What makes ProWrestlingHistory.com reliable?
  • It is used to source uncontentious results, but probably does not pass the "Reliable Sources" criteria.
  • What makes Lucha 2000 reliable?
  • It is a Mexican print magazine with an established editorial process
  • What makes Canoe.com reliable?
  • Listed under PW Sources as "Slam! wrestling"
  • What makes Wrestling Data reliable?
  • Each region have multiple editors that double check all submissions against multiple sources, only publish if verified independently (I actually e-mailed them a long time ago to figure that out.)
  • MEXICO shouldn't be capitalized in ref 6.
  • why are most titles translated to Spanish, but not all (ie. ref 8, ref 41, etc.)
  • Is there a typo in the title for ref 5 - "Pro Wrestling Illustrated 500 – 1998 56) Blue Panther"."?
  • Same with ref 45 - "Pro Wrestling Illustrated 500 – 2008: 313 Blue Panther"."?
  • What makes Wrestleview reliable?
  • Listed on the PW Reliable Sources list.

Images

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Prose comments forthcoming. ceranthor 00:43, 24 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I believe I have addressed all points raised so far. MPJ-DK (talk) 02:46, 26 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]
@MPJ-DK: Great, I'll review and get back to you asap. ceranthor 12:44, 26 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]
@MPJ-DK: "Rise up the ranks" is still there. Harvard error is still present. Can you replace the prowrestlinghistory info with a more reliable source? Otherwise, this looks good. ceranthor 13:36, 26 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Rewrote the "rise up the ranks" and got a better link, I'm still working on the link error. MPJ-DK (talk) 01:52, 27 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Great, passing. ceranthor 13:34, 30 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]
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