Talk:Blood on the Dance Floor (song)/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Very well written article - I only have a few minor problems:

"Instruments played in the song include a guitar and piano, the latter of which has a F2-Eb5 range. Jackson's vocals on the track are C4-C5 and aspects of the song are performed in the key Ab major."

This sentence feels a bit technical (I'm a musician and I'm not sure what C4-C5 means) - at the very least I think some of the musical terms should be linked.

Hmm, I've linked one, but most of these don't have specific wikilinks, I'm no expert myself. Should they be simplified someway perhaps? — R² 17:32, 11 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- Perhaps - we'd need to know what C4-C5 and F2-Eb5 actually mean to simplify though! I'm busy tonight but will ask some of my more technically minded musician friends tomorrow if you can't find anything on the net. Cavie78 (talk) 17:54, 11 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  - Sounds good to me. — R² 18:26, 11 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    - Apparently the terms are from scientific pitch notation. I've linked to that in the article - see what you think Cavie78 (talk) 22:17, 11 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
      - Yay, very good. ;) — R ² 22:26, 11 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"The original song would later appear on the Number Ones DVD, which contained unreleased additional scenes. Paterson recorded an unreleased, alternate version of the music video, shot with an 8 mm camera."

Seems a bit unclear - are the "unreleased additional scenes" from Paterson's alternative version? Also the first sentence should probably say "previously unreleased".

No, they are unrelated, hopefully I've cleared that up in my recent edit. It does go on to say that Paterson's alternative version was never released by Sony (as they disliked it), hopefully that clarifies things further, but feel free to distinguish them further if you feel it's necessary. It's good to have an outside look after all. — R ² 14:33, 11 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, I'm happy with the section now. Cavie78 (talk) 14:57, 11 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Would be good to include a screenshot of the video showing Azur and Jackson.
- I've asked another editor for help with this, uploading images is not my strong point. — R² 14:27, 11 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  - Image added, works well with prose I think. — R² 17:14, 11 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    - Looks good. Cavie78 (talk) 17:16, 11 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

And that's it! Let me know when you've addressed my concerns and well done on getting the article this far. Cavie78 (talk) 11:41, 11 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]