Talk:Black armband protest/GA1
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Reviewer: Kaiser matias (talk · contribs) 01:33, 22 April 2017 (UTC)
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Alright just a few things I found to fix up before it can pass. I'll also give the caveat that I'm basing this off of Canadian English, so if anything I note is just due to differences in that, let me know, and I won't have it effect the process:
- "...impacted by the Government's land reforms." Don't need to capitalize government here.
- "...which, as of 2015, are still in place." Any update on that?
- "After Flower had decided to protest, he decided to choose Henry Olonga as his partner." Any reason Flower wanted a partner? It would be good to explain why he felt this necessary, if possible.
- In the section "The protest itself" you mention no one knew about it except the press, then a few sentences later note they gave their note to the press right before the match. If this is when the press found out about it early, it should be clarified, as the wording is a little clumsy now.
- "... public at the ground were not aware of the protest until the 22nd over..." I realise there is a reaction section after this, but is there any record of the public's initial reaction when Flower came out? If so it would be good to include here.
- "Olonga was charged with treason..." Were there any charges against Flower?
- "...Flower wore white armbands." What is the significance of the white armband?
- The aftermath section should be condensed into larger paragraphs; the third and fourth for sure could be combined, so long as they are re-arranged.
- In legacy, spell out what MCC is.
- Reference 24 is dead.
That's about it. Kaiser matias (talk) 01:33, 22 April 2017 (UTC)
- Done, and the two other places where government was capitalised.
- Still in place, added another source.
- Clarified why he wanted a partner- it had been later in the section, but moved it.
- Rewritten that sentence.
- Added a sentence about the crowd making black armbands.
- I don't think so, although can't find sources that explicitly say no.
- Clarified that the white armbands were so they technically didn't break the "no black armbands" rule from ICC.
- Rearranged into 3 paragraphs.
- Done.
- Replaced it with 2 other live links.
- Kaiser matias I've made the suggested changes, any other feedback? Joseph2302 (talk) 08:33, 22 April 2017 (UTC)
- Everything looks good now. Kaiser matias (talk) 01:26, 23 April 2017 (UTC)