Talk:Billy Meredith/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:52, 22 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I'll read through and make straightforward copyedits as I go (please revert if I accidentally change the meaning!) and jot queries below: Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:52, 22 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

~~The season ended in less than acrimonious circumstances at Villa Park~~ ~~- umm, "acrimonious" or "less than (some nice word such as harmonious)" are what you meant I guess??~~

haha, oh yeah. Changed it to "season ended in controversial circumstances".--Echetus Xe 09:47, 27 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

~~Manchester City reluctantly accepted the transfer as they had promised Meredith a benefit match but never followed through on the offer.~~ ~~- I can't see how/why the second part of the sentence is the reason for the first (why "as" is used...?)~~

"Manchester City reluctantly accepted the transfer as they had previously signed an undertaking promising Meredith a benefit match, and he was willing to forego on the agreement if the club instead granted his transfer". Yeah, the promise was a legal promise.--Echetus Xe 09:47, 27 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

~~Meredith criticised the lack of direct play in the modern game~~ ~~- given this was written in 1947, maybe "modern" is not the right word..."game at the time"?~~

Changed it to "criticised the lack of direct play on show in the 1940s".--Echetus Xe 09:47, 27 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

~~despite being teetotal~~ ~~- never heard it said like that..."despite being a teetotaller" ?~~

I'm sure both are fine but I followed your suggestion.--Echetus Xe 09:47, 27 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Err, there are no figures for his playing days with Northwich Victoria at the bottom.....

Meredith's son-in-law, former City captain Charlie Pringle, was a player - a player for Man. Central?

In summary, an engaging read, just some minor things to tweak and I think we're over the line. If you want to take it to FAC I am happy to try and find more prose tweaks...Casliber (talk · contribs) 08:01, 27 March 2013 (UTC) Sure, that would be great if you think it would have a chance of passing.--Echetus Xe 09:47, 27 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"...due to low attendances..." (2nd paragraph, "Early life") is a bit unclear since there are two things mentioned that could be due to low attendance, and it might apply to "only" as well. In other words, rephrase please. Drmies (talk) 01:46, 28 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Meredith featured in each win"--I don't like "featured" in general, and here it's unclear. I also don't like "heavy defeats". Drmies (talk) 01:47, 28 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"In addition to Turnbull": dangles. Turnbull joined Meredith? Or Turnbull was also joined by the former City teammates? Drmies (talk) 01:55, 28 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"and staunch opponent of the Players' Union"--is this relevant? I don't know if I missed something, but I don't see the point. Drmies (talk) 02:11, 28 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I see lots of "13th place finish" constructions: these should really all be hyphenated. Drmies (talk) 02:13, 28 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"He dropped Meredith to blood a young Jackie Sheldon": "blood"?
"league fixtures.[68] could compete": did Wales go missing here? Drmies (talk) 02:14, 28 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Wales played for the first time in south Wales": the repetition of "Wales" is awkward and I think South Wales is to be capitalized. Drmies (talk) 02:15, 28 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

1. Well written?:

Prose quality:

Manual of Style compliance:

2. Factually accurate and verifiable?:

References to sources:

Citations to reliable sources, where required:

No original research:

3. Broad in coverage?:

Major aspects:

Focused:

4. Reflects a neutral point of view?:

Fair representation without bias:

5. Reasonably stable?

No edit wars, etc. (Vandalism does not count against GA):

6. Illustrated by images, when possible and appropriate?:

Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:

Overall:

Pass or Fail:

- I'll pass this now as I am happy it meets GA status, a couple of other pairs of eyes have given pointers and kneaded the prose nicely. I do think this is worth a shot at FAC and recommend proceeding there. The only other thing is whether it is worth scouring far and wide for other sources (?) Casliber (talk · contribs) 08:30, 29 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]