Talk:Billy Joe Tolliver/GA1
GA Review
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GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
- Is it reasonably well written?
- A. Prose quality:
- B. MoS compliance:
- A. Prose quality:
- Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
- A. References to sources:
- B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
- C. No original research:
- A. References to sources:
- Is it broad in its coverage?
- A. Major aspects:
- B. Focused:
- A. Major aspects:
- Is it neutral?
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- Is it stable?
- No edit wars, etc:
- No edit wars, etc:
- Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
- A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
- A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- Overall:
- Pass or Fail:
- Pass or Fail:
- In the lede, you seemed to alternate between stating the full name of the team ("San Diego Chargers") and just the city ("Atlanta"). I left the Chargers and Shreveport references in, but removed the "Chiefs" from Kansas City.
- "Tolliver is married to his wife" ... who else would he be married to?
- Is there any biographical information available about his life before high school or after leaving the Packers?
- In the game against TCU, what was a SWC record? The passing, touchdowns, or something else?
- "On the injured reserve" should be changed to either "in the injured reserve" or "on the injured reserve list"
- I'm really not a big fan of people "citing" things, unless they're alluding to a source. People say things or state them, but you don't really cite them unless you're referring to something else for the information.
- Who said "Tolliver has to work on his shortcomings"?
- "an undisclosed draft pick" ... "fifth-round pick". Was the pick determined later, or was the information simply withheld from the public at the time of the trade? If it's the latter, I'd suggest merging the two sentences. The two teams knew what the pick was, and we know what it is now, so it only adds a bit of information about what was known at the time. That's not really relevant to Tolliver's life.
- "however the Falcons signed Bobby Hebert shortly afterwards" ... why is there a however?
- In the re-signing by the Falcons, you have him slated to start against the 49ers before the Broncos game, but no word as to whether he actually did. I'm assuming he didn't, but why was he slated, then?
- In the last sentence of the Packers section, who is Pederson?
- Everything's fixed with the following exceptions:
- I'm still looking for information on point three - info on pre high school or post packers. Nearly every news source after 2001 relates to his golfing, which i've put into the personal life section. pre-high school i've come up empty.
- Could you clarify what you mean by the "citing things" point? Wizardman 02:45, 13 June 2009 (UTC)
- Sure. The article uses a lot of "he cited"-type phrases instead of "he said" or an equivalent. When you say someone "cited" something, it means they're referring to another source when speaking, rather than speaking from personal knowledge. JKBrooks85 (talk) 22:51, 14 June 2009 (UTC)
- Ah, I see now. That's fixed. Wizardman 23:08, 14 June 2009 (UTC)
- Sure. The article uses a lot of "he cited"-type phrases instead of "he said" or an equivalent. When you say someone "cited" something, it means they're referring to another source when speaking, rather than speaking from personal knowledge. JKBrooks85 (talk) 22:51, 14 June 2009 (UTC)
- Looks good to me! JKBrooks85 (talk) 10:26, 15 June 2009 (UTC)