Talk:Bill Cunningham (rugby union)/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 16:16, 18 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I'll give this a review shortly. Wizardman 16:16, 18 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Here are the issues I found:

" but did not play in the loss to Wales due to injury; the All Blacks' only defeat on tour." should be comma instead of semicolon
Anything about his early life, family, pre-Auckland career? Even just a little bit of into would make the article that much more well-rounded, though if that info doesn't exist then nothing can be done there.
"and the touring New South Wales team that was touring New Zealand at the time." I'd just keep the second 'touring' to avoid redundancy
The infobox notes him being part of the national team 01-08, but the body seems to clearly go the other way, noting his displacement form the national team more than once. Am I missing something?
"aboard the Rimutaka the and during" rm second the
"With Auckland he continued to play for them up until 1913" odd as worded; maybe "He continued to play for Auckland until 1913."
"and had "remarkably agile" according to writer" and was
"Outside of rugby he spent his early working-life as an axeman,[1] also worked sometime as a miner,[42] and then for the Auckland Harbour Board." I'd just take the extra filler words out, and do something like '...early-working life as an axeman, a miner, and working for the Auckland Harbour Board.[1][2]'
I won't hold up GA status for this since the prose is solid enough sans the above, but I would suggest sending this to WP:GOCE for another once-over.

I'll put this on hold. Once the issues are fixed I'll give it a second look and either pass it or note any other issues. Wizardman 23:54, 18 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I just noticed the writer hasn't edited in a while. Thankfully we have someone chiming in and making the fixes, so I'll take a look over them tomorrow. Wizardman 03:20, 23 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Took a second read through and it is a lot better now, especially with the early life additions rounding out everything. As a result I'll pass the article. Wizardman 01:33, 24 January 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Personally I wouldn't use BDM in an article at all - it's a good tool for finding information but I'd consider it original research.

The instructions given in the notes also don't bring up any results - maybe because as written they search for family name and given names in the wrong fields, and for the wrong date. I indulged in a few minutes' quick 'original research' of my own to find out the following:

Birth registration 1907/8832, Cunningham, William Henry, mother Ethel Minnie, father William.

Death registration 1907/7315, Cunningham, William Henry, 1D.

Narrowing down date ranges until they are a single day gets me 10th December 1907 as the date of birth and 11th December 1907 as the date of death. Hopefully this may be of some use for future editors. Daveosaurus (talk) 04:57, 19 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]