Talk:Bikini/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: TonyTheTiger (talk · contribs) 08:51, 16 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 08:51, 16 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

This article was created on Novemeber 1, 2001. That is before Abraham Lincoln (Nov 4), France (Nov 4) and California (Nov 17) were created on wikipedia. One day after Japan. Wow!!! What a treasure. I may have never reviewed an article this old before.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 16:08, 16 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
How many articles existed on WP on Novemeber 1, 2001?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 16:14, 16 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- The records indicate that in November 2001 there were about 14K articles on English WP. Not sure if that is month end or not. FWIW, October had 12K. There are now about 4.5 million English WP articles.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 17:21, 16 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
The toolbox to the right shows that there are numerous external links that are no longer of service. You will need to refresh your references.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 16:14, 16 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

WP:LEAD

At 3118 characters, the LEAD is a bit long on first blush for a 32820 character article. Trimming 10% of this away would not hurt.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 16:36, 16 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
The LEAD should not be more than 4 paragraphs.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 17:33, 16 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Make sure that there is nothing in the LEAD that is not in the main body of the article and that for all content that is in both the greater amount of detail is in the main body.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 16:14, 16 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Celebrities do not need to be mentioned twice in the LEAD to convey the point (consider removing the phrase "by film stars like Ava Gardner, Rita Hayworth, and Lana Turner").--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 16:33, 16 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Also, conform to WP:LASTNAME to avoid superfluous text.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 16:33, 16 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Link Raquel Welch and her famous bikini.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 16:38, 16 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Make sure to summarize each section in the WP:LEAD.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:23, 17 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The modern bikini

see WP:LASTNAME--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:10, 16 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Date the picture in the WP:CAPTION--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:10, 16 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Social resistance

"Belgium, Italy, Spain and Australia also banned the swimsuit that same year."; "banned in Spain, Portugal and Italy, three countries neighboring France, as well as Belgium and Australia, and it remained prohibited in many US states"--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 19:56, 16 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Were stores at risk for selling them or individuals at risk for wearing them?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 19:56, 16 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Fines or incarceration?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 19:56, 16 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Rise to popularity

see WP:LASTNAME--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:10, 16 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
link Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:10, 16 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
song names in quotes rather than italicized.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:10, 16 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Why does the text describe Honey Rider's bikini as white?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:10, 16 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Should the other three Individual bikinis be discussed in the text. If WP thinks there are 5 notable bikinis why not mention all 5?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:37, 17 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Mass acceptance

It is odd to have a see also template at the bottom of a section. Move it to a section at the bottom of the article above the references.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:10, 16 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Bikini variants

"The amount of coverage can vary widely, from a string bikini with very little coverage to a full design with maximum coverage" is an odd sentence because there are two designs with less coverage and it does not name a design with more coverage. Do the sources support something like "The amount of coverage can vary widely, from a pubikini, microkini or string bikini with very little coverage to a fuller designs with more coverage such as the tankini, skirtini or bandeaukini"?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 21:45, 17 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
These three short paragraphs need not be redundant with examples.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 21:45, 17 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Is it possible to better integrate the table and the prose. I.e., there are a lot of things in the prose not in the table. Can we find content and pictures to improve the table?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 21:45, 17 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
It seems like some prose should discuss how the trikini and tankini are both considered part of the family even though the navel is exposed, IMO.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 21:45, 17 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Variants

String: It seems odd that you say first one was 1974, when the picture of the original one above seems to be a string bikini.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 22:34, 17 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Bandeaukini: Can you clarify that there are no straps going over the shoulders.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 22:34, 17 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Beach volleyball

Either link women's Olympic beach volleyball or just the last two words.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 22:51, 17 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Dancers, sex appeal and bikinis worn by women players as much as athletic ability made beach volleyball..." is either ungrammatical or not explaining something.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 22:51, 17 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Bodybuilding

How is the 4-H related to Bodybuilding?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 22:56, 17 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Age appropriateness

You left the appropriate age to begin wearing bikinis out.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:00, 17 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Health issues

"there is enough evidence to conclude that it can cause cancer in humans". needs a WP:IC from a WP:RS.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:08, 17 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

See also

Remove variants from this section.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:10, 17 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Hmm

How can one write an entire article on the bikini without discussing tan lines?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:08, 17 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Images

Most images are PD.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:34, 17 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
File:MichelineBernardini.jpg is important to the article and has an adequate FUR.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:34, 17 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
File:Ursula Andress in Dr. No.jpg is under discussion at WP:NFR, where File:Ursula Andress in bikini.jpg is also mentioned. I like the color of the latter and the fact that it gives a better close up perspective.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:34, 17 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Most WP:CAPTIONs are adequate. However, File:AKellermanUnitard1909.JPG, File:MichelineBernardini.jpg and File:BodybuildingWoman.jpg all need grammatical corrections. Complete sentences end in periods and if the phrase is not a complete sentence, it should not end in a period.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:43, 17 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

This article has a long list of minor fixes for the most part. It will take a lot of work to clean up. I'll review the progress in a week. I am putting it on hold now.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:46, 17 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Hello TonyTheTiger briefly - but firstly thank you for reviewing the bikini article. I have been unable to respond to you personally or the article review since last week momentous events occurred effecting our family (but thankfully positive ones!!). I have not even been able to visit Wikipedia but for once, briefly, in the past nine days... I understand the article needs specific improvements but what is the best course of action from this moment forwards? Is it such that the final pass/fail can be delayed for some more days while I try to personally set aside time to edit, or would I want to formally " withdraw" the nomination (so it doesn't automatically fail b/c the changes aren't made timely)? Of course the intent is to make the necessary edits, it's just like I said there was momentous personal events last week that turned this world upside down so I have not been able to follow-up with you before now. Please advise on the best course of action and thank you for your time Az x2 05:17, 24 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

ps. I left you the same message on your talking page so is to you where best to reply. Thx!!! Az x2 05:17, 24 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Take your time. RL will happen. I can wait a week or two. Please respond at your earliest convenience.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:26, 24 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

If RL has taken over your time for now maybe I should close this review. Let me know if you object.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 15:35, 5 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I am FAILing this review due to inactivity.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 15:11, 11 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from other users

The lead is so long that I have tagged it already. I will try to help with this GA as much as possible, however. Epicgenius (talk) 16:37, 16 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your feedback on this. Az x2 05:17, 24 December 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I just want to point out that I added a {{citation needed}} tag to the following sentence: "The bikini gradually grew to gain wide acceptance in Western society, though it is still unacceptable in most Muslim countries. Some Muslim countries permit the wearing of a bikini; however, it is usually heavily frowned upon. Other Muslim countries entirely prohibit the wearing of a bikini." -Newyorkadam (talk) 22:43, 11 January 2014 (UTC)Newyorkadam[reply]