Talk:Bernard Mellor/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: Generalissima (talk · contribs) 20:21, 27 May 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: Bluecrystal004 (talk · contribs) 21:27, 28 May 2024 (UTC)

Hi! I know this is a more recent nomination but I haven't reviewed a biography before and I figure this one shouldn't take too long! ~Bluecrystal004 ^{(talk · contribs)} 21:27, 28 May 2024 (UTC)

Preliminary checks

• image copyright
• is it possible to use a fair use image in the infobox? I see the HKU site has one
• Earwig

• reasonably similar to the Independent source: For a period he worked under a deception unit headed by Peter Fleming

Infobox

• no comments besides missing an image (see above)

Prose

Prose comments

Lead "Blackpool" by itself isn't obvious, at least to me, I would suggest adding , England or similar Corrected. -G served variously in Fixed. -G , when he was awarded - kind of gives the impression that it was because of the award that he stopped serving as registrar (I might suggest e.g. and was awarded Yeah, good fix. - G Early life first sentence has a lot of commas in a row, for readability I would maybe end it after "England" and merge "the son of a local brewer" with the next sentence about his childhood/father Good idea. Fixed. - G as a youth - reads unnaturally to me but might be OK in other Englishes I've seen this sorta phrasing before; you're right it may be regional. - G alongside his political correspondent Edward Heath - meaning wasn't clear to me at first, maybe where the political correspondent was...? Good idea. - G what kind of publication was Ration Cooking for Small Detachments? A military cookbook. Spelled this out. - G Not sure if it's just me, but it's not clear to me what a "deception unit" is. Any more information in sources? Not really, but I realize "deception unit" might be a bit informal phrasing. - G University of Hong Kong assistant director of Education... - should the E be capitalized? Oops, fixed. -G He ultimately served in this role... Fixed. - G (Adviser for Colonial Scholars in North America) - doesn't seem necessary to include Fair point. - G After leaving the university - clarify which university Fixed. -G

Refs

Spotchecked this version. Decided to hit every source at least once:

• 1a:
• 3b:
• 1c:
• 4c: would prefer this moved to the claim it backs up, He was briefly appointed... - also applies to the first paragraph of the article body
• 5a:
• 6:
• 7:
• 8: Less of a source problem but I noticed it now: Mellor continued to publish works related to English poetry and literature - move this mention of the Hubert book up in the paragraph, currently we go from 1982, 1992, to 1963 and second
• 3f:

Discussion

Ping me if I haven't posted again within 7 days (lord help me if that happens) ~Bluecrystal004 ^{(talk · contribs)} 21:27, 28 May 2024 (UTC)

Prose check done, see comments above; expect source checks today or tomorrow but the article looks to be in great shape! ~Bluecrystal004 ^{(talk · contribs)} 00:02, 29 May 2024 (UTC)

@Bluecrystal004: Added a fair use image and responded to all your prose fixes. Thank you very much so far for your work! 15:28, 29 May 2024 (UTC) Generalissima (talk) (it/she) 15:28, 29 May 2024 (UTC)

@Generalissima: Spotcheck done, let me know those couple points are addressed then this will easily pass. Thanks for your work on this article! ~Bluecrystal004 ^{(talk · contribs)} 02:43, 31 May 2024 (UTC)

@Bluecrystal004: Fixed those two little issues. :) Generalissima (talk) (it/she) 20:04, 31 May 2024 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.