Talk:Bernard Hinault/GA1
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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 16:15, 4 March 2019 (UTC)
Will review. MWright96 (talk) 16:15, 4 March 2019 (UTC)
- @MWright96: Thank you, looking forward to your comments :) Zwerg Nase (talk) 09:37, 5 March 2019 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
Lead
[edit]- "he is often named among the greatest cyclists of all times." - time
- "In 1978, he won his first two Grand Tours, winning both the Vuelta a España and the Tour de France. " - I believe winning both is redundant and needs deleting
- "He bounced back the following year," - recovered
- All Done. Zwerg Nase (talk) 08:38, 9 March 2019 (UTC)
Early life and family
[edit]- "Hinault had bought the 48-hectare property near Calorguen in 1983." - Use the 48 ha (120 acres) template on 48-hectacre
Amateur career
[edit]- "as a reward for passing his school exams" - examinations
- "He took his military service at the young age of 18 over the course of 1973, not racing for the entire year." - How about He was conscripted into the military at age 18, and did not race throughout 1973.?
- "On the road, he raced in the Étoile des Espoirs, a race open to amateurs and young professionals." - took part for the avoidance of close repetition of similar words
- All Done Zwerg Nase (talk) 08:41, 9 March 2019 (UTC)
1975–1977: Gitane
[edit]- "who had decided to split up the prize money" - divided is more formal here
- Done
- "His results in his first season were impressive, with seventh at Paris–Nice" - with a seventh at the Paris–Nice
- Have done the a, also added "place". Concerning the "the" ahead of bike race names. I know, Phil Liggett always says "the Paris-Nice" and so forth, but I feel this sounds stupid. From the reliable sources at my disposal, I see this is a handled differently. Cyclingnews doesn't use it for instance...
- Just to clarify: Obviously I only mean races which start with place names, such as Paris-Nice or Paris-Roubaix. Zwerg Nase (talk) 12:12, 15 March 2019 (UTC)
- Have done the a, also added "place". Concerning the "the" ahead of bike race names. I know, Phil Liggett always says "the Paris-Nice" and so forth, but I feel this sounds stupid. From the reliable sources at my disposal, I see this is a handled differently. Cyclingnews doesn't use it for instance...
- "netting him the Promotion Pernod," - how about earning instead?
- Done
- "However, Hinault showed little willingsness" - typo; willingness
- Done
- "lesser known races such as Paris–Camembert, which he won." - events such as the Paris–Camembert
- See above.
- "with a second, consecutive victory at the Circuit de la Sarthe," - the comma is redundant
- Done
- "third at the Grand Prix du Midi Libre" - a third place
- Done
- "being beaten to the line for fifth by none other than Eddy Merckx." - "none other than" is redundant and needs deleting
- Done
- " Hinault left the Tour of Flanders before it had even started, gaining him a formal warning by Guimard for his conduct." - drawing
- Done
- "Five days later, at Liège–Bastogne–Liège," - at the
- See above.
- "leading Van Impe and Bernard Thévenet by 1:30 minutes by the summit." - heading into
- I chose "when crossing"
- Wikilink hairpin to Hairpin turn for non-cycling readers
- Done
- "This also secured his overall victory" - him the overall victory
- Done
1978: Grand Tour breakthrough
[edit]- "on which he rode 55 km (34 mi) on his own," - solo
- Done
- "Hinault rode conservatively in the Pyrenees to stay within striking distance of Zoetemelk." - what is meant by striking distance here?
- Meaning that he limited the time deficit on the general classification.
- "as was the case on this 12 July." - remove "this"
- Done
- "ended with Zoetemelk, Hinault and the temporary yellow jersey Michel Pollentier" - yellow jersey wearer
- Done
- "but Hinault surprisingly contested the finishing sprint," - "surprisingly" sounds like editorialising to me; should be changed to something neutral or be removed
- Done
1979: Second Tour victory and Classics success
[edit]- "with third placed Kuiper already more than 12 minutes behind." - with the third-placed
- "He had escaped from the field a massive 150 km (93 mi) from the finish," - remove "a massive"
- Both Done Zwerg Nase (talk) 09:11, 9 March 2019 (UTC)
1980: Attempt at the Triple Crown
[edit]- "dropping out of Paris–Nice." - withdrawing from the
- Did withdrawing, for "the" see above.
- "Following fourth place at the prologue" - Following a fourth place
- Done
- "which contained cobbled sections used in Paris–Roubaix," - used in the}
- See above.
- "not informing the press, which let to a fallout" - led
- Done
1981: Winning a third Tour de France
[edit]- "Some weeks later, he added a victory at the Amstel Gold Race." how many weeks exactly?
- Good thing you mentioned this, it was actually earlier. Calender was different back then... Zwerg Nase (talk) 09:18, 9 March 2019 (UTC)
1982: Achieving the Giro–Tour double
[edit]- "Zoetemelk was again the runner up," - runner up is hyphenated
- Done
1983: Second Vuelta and the ascent of Fignon
[edit]- "He bounced back and took the lead" - came back
- Done
1984: Defeat at Fignon's hands
[edit]- "while at the same time scientificly measuring his progress." - typo; scientifically
- Done
1985: The second Giro–Tour double
[edit]- "even though his team car rode behind him with the door opened the entire time to ensure that bystanders would have a harder time impeeding him." - typo; should be impeding
- Done. Some English spelling I will just never understand...
- The entire second paragraph in this section lacks reliable source(s)
- Done. Broke up that part into two paragraphs and forgot to duplicate the source.
- "holding an advantage of five-and-a-half minues on LeMond," - typo; minutes
- All Done. Zwerg Nase (talk) 13:31, 15 March 2019 (UTC)
1986: The final season
[edit]- "partly due to Hinault deciding that the team" - change the text in bold to squad for variety and to remove close reptition of the same word
- Done.
- "Hinault then cracked, coming in ninth, 4:39 behind stage winner LeMond." - 4:39 minutes
- Done.
- "He rode the World Championships Road Race, held at Colorado Springs." - held in
- Done.
- "He aimed to win, showing surprising effort in his preparation." - editoralising is again present here
- Changed to "a lot of".
- "Nevertheless, he finished the race in a disappointing 59th place" - same issue as above
- All Done. Zwerg Nase (talk) 13:34, 15 March 2019 (UTC)
Retirement
[edit]- "the Tour de France organisers, Amaury Sport Organisation (ASO), approached Hinault and invited him to join the management team of the event." - its race management team.
- Done.
- "Offers from Bouygues Télécom and a Chinese investor in the mid-2000s did not go through." - fell through.
- All Done. Zwerg Nase (talk) 13:35, 15 March 2019 (UTC)
Riding style and legacy
[edit]- "Hinault would be able to control the pace of races, use his influence with race organisers" - change to event to avoid close reptition of "race"
- Have changed the first instance to "the peloton" instead.
- "The riders' strike at Valence d'Agen in the 1978 Tour is cited as the first instance in which Hinault took over this role." - assumed
- Done.
- "He urged the riders to protest and ride slowly, but some broke ranks," - disagreed
- Chose "did not follow his example".
- "during his Tour wins and his behavior towards fans and officials" - behaviour
- Done.
- "who he treated with open disgust." - whom
- Done.
- "With an impressive résumé of victories, including all three Grand Tours (all of them more than once)," - rewrite to With a résumé of victories that include all three Grand Tours to avoid editorialising
- Done, with "includes" for grammar reasons.
- "Hinault has often been cited among the greatest cyclists of all time." - cited by whom?
- Well, I have given two sources of many right behind this statement. Should I write down the authors of that? Those people are not well-known, so I feel that does not add much to the article. The main thing is to source the statement overall. Have added another example in a sentence right behind. Hope this suffices. Let me know. Zwerg Nase (talk) 13:44, 15 March 2019 (UTC)
- I do not believe the authors are required in this instance. MWright96 (talk) 18:48, 15 March 2019 (UTC)
- Well, I have given two sources of many right behind this statement. Should I write down the authors of that? Those people are not well-known, so I feel that does not add much to the article. The main thing is to source the statement overall. Have added another example in a sentence right behind. Hope this suffices. Let me know. Zwerg Nase (talk) 13:44, 15 March 2019 (UTC)
Nickname
[edit]- "who would use the term to put the young rider in his place." - try to avoid using idioms per MOS:IDIOM
- Have changed to "tease the young rider". Still fairly colloquial, but maybe better? Zwerg Nase (talk) 13:46, 15 March 2019 (UTC)
- I believe that is much better than the previous version. MWright96 (talk) 18:48, 15 March 2019 (UTC)
- Have changed to "tease the young rider". Still fairly colloquial, but maybe better? Zwerg Nase (talk) 13:46, 15 March 2019 (UTC)
Stance on doping
[edit]- "He was handed a one-month suspended ban and fined 1,110 Swiss Francs," - CHF 1,110 per MOS:CURRENCY
- Done. Have also wikilinked to Swiss Franc since I feel the currency constitutes a "lesser known currency" per MOS:CURRENCY.
- "To this claim, Hinault replied" - To counter this claim.
- Done.
- "he urged the other riders to strike in protest if Froome should compete." - if Froome competed.
- All Done. Zwerg Nase (talk) 13:49, 15 March 2019 (UTC)
References
[edit]- The McGannMcGann sfn templates that are used should be formatted as follows: {sfn|McGann|McGann|p=}
- Fixed.
- The same fix applies to the book written by LagetLagetCazabanMontgermont: {sfn|Laget|Laget|Cazaban|Montgermont|p=}
- Fixed.
- Also, all of the sfn templates for Van Gucht's 2015 book should not have the underdash character (_) in it
- I actually had to figure out how to do that, but it appears to have worked. You never stop learning.
Those are the many points that I found in my read-through. On hold. MWright96 (talk) 12:18, 7 March 2019 (UTC)
- @MWright96: Thank you for the review! Have addressed all points, some are still up for debate, looking forward to your comments! Zwerg Nase (talk) 13:57, 15 March 2019 (UTC)
- @Zwerg Nase: Now promoting to GA class. MWright96 (talk) 18:48, 15 March 2019 (UTC)
- Thank you! Zwerg Nase (talk) 07:12, 16 March 2019 (UTC)