Talk:Bernard A. Maguire/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 07:33, 3 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Any reason the succession boxes are in reverse chronological order?
- That's how I've been doing it for every article. I took the lede from several POTUS articles, which had the succession boxes in reverse order. Truthfully, I'm not sure which order is correct. Ergo Sum 18:42, 3 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  - Yes, and it's weird that I've only just noticed. I would imagine, like lists, chronological order is preferred. So perhaps you could go back over the other articles and do the same. I can't see any good reason for it to be in reverse order, can you? The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 19:08, 3 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    - No, I can't. My first instinct was the same as yours, but I just followed what appeared to be convention. I'll go back to correct the ordering on the other articles. Ergo Sum 22:09, 3 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"When John McElroy, a Catholic priest..." a few too many clauses in this sentence for my liking, purely personal preference of course. I'd suggest cleaving the sentence in twain.
- Separated. Ergo Sum 18:43, 3 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"Later in life, Maguire..." feels odd to see this in the "Early life" section. Any chance of putting it chronological order or finding a better location for it?
- I've rephrased it slightly. The only other place I could think of putting it would be at the very end, but I don't know if it belongs there because by old age, that description would no longer be accurate. Ergo Sum 18:44, 3 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"McElroy was president. Among his professors" -> "Among Maguire's professors"...
- Clarified. Ergo Sum 18:45, 3 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"Jesuit novitiate in Frederick.[2] He was supervised during his novitiate by" maybe (going against my earlier comment(!)) consider merging, i.e. "Jesuit novitiate in Frederick,[2] during which he was supervised by..." to avoid that small sentence.
- Done. Ergo Sum 18:46, 3 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"seventy from the university[4]. " ref after punctuation.
- Done. Ergo Sum 18:46, 3 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"which was supervised by Felix Cicaterri, which lasted from,[4] " something's definitely awry here...!
- That was old phrasing that I forgot to excise. Ergo Sum 18:47, 3 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"an signifiant increase " two problems...
- Fixed. Ergo Sum 18:47, 3 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"he first Christmas tree was introduced" is this significant, is this related to Maguire's decision-making?
- I think it's an interesting little factoid. Ergo Sum 18:48, 3 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  - It's interesting, but I'm unclear what it has to do with Maguire? The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 19:09, 3 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    - Fair enough. I'll remove it. Might see if I can work it into the History of Georgetown University article. Ergo Sum 22:10, 3 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"and there were few students who remained when " I would tighten this to "and few students remained when ". Could even then consider merging the previous sentences, to whit: "He took office in the aftermath of the American Civil War, during which enrollment at the university had suffered greatly, and few students remained when Maguire returned to the presidency."? Just a thought.
- I've tightened up the phrasing. Ergo Sum 18:49, 3 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Is "enrollment" with two L's USEng? My spellchecker is suggesting it should just be a single l.
- A quick Google as well as run through Webster's suggests that it may be North American English, but is also substantially more common than with one "L". Ergo Sum 18:50, 3 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"He resign these" ed.
- Fixed. Ergo Sum 18:50, 3 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"1789-1889" in the sources, should be an en-dash.
- Fixed. Ergo Sum 18:51, 3 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Nothing much else to complain about, so I'll put it on hold while we go through these. Cheers. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 09:38, 3 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@The Rambling Man: Thanks, as always, for your review. Ergo Sum 18:51, 3 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Great, I'm more than happy that it exceeds GA requirements, so I'm promoting. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 08:29, 5 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.