Talk:Becky McDonald/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: JuneGloom07 Talk? 15:49, 10 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Afternoon. I've decided to take this review on, since you've been waiting a while and you're now top of the queue. I'll have a good read through first and I'll add my comments a bit later. - JuneGloom07 Talk? 15:49, 10 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry for the wait, things were happening off and on WP. Okay, Checklinks shows one dead ref (No. 40) and several refs that will need their urls checking and possibly updating. I've learnt recently that some of the Digital Spy refs have changed their urls slightly, so you just need to update them (if possible). Dablinks is fine. All of the images have the correct licenses, so they are okay.

Comment

Done - All refs working again, correct paths.

Now moving on to the article -

Lead

She has remained since and is contracted to appear until 2011 - Something is not quite right about this sentence, I think it's missing a word. I think either She has remained ever since... or She has remained since then... would sound better. I'll let you decide that one. Done
The opening sentence of the 2nd paragraph says Becky's storylines have focused..., we then move onto personality and then we come back to Notable storylines include.... So, how about this; Becky's storylines have focused on her friendship with Roy and Hayley Cropper, which helped change public opinion of the character, and her relationships with Jason Grimshaw and Steve McDonald, with the latter producing two wedding storylines which were highly publicised by ITV. Other notable storylines have included her drunken rampages, two miscarriages and her desire to adopt a child. Then Becky is portrayed as a no-nonsense character, whose time on the show has been described as a journey. Viewers have seen her change from a "thieving ex-con" into a vulnerable woman. - Feel free to tweak them. Done
Kelly has won five awards for her portrayal of Becky, and has been nominated for a further eight. I think Kelly has garnered various award nominations for her portrayal of Becky would be better. That way you don't have to keep updating the lead if she is nominated or wins anymore awards in the future. Done

Characterisation

I noticed James26's second point on your talk page and if you want to use his advice to tweak the section then go ahead. I was wondering if the third paragraph could be swapped with the second? What do you think? Done

Relationships

Becky's on-screen partnership with Roy particularly was successful -> Becky's on-screen partnership with Roy was particularly successful. Done

Storylines

Last paragraph - She starts feuding with Tracy Barlow (Kate Ford). - Is there a reason for the feud, why does it begin? Done

Reception

Instead of Kelly has won several awards for her portrayal of Becky. How about Kelly has won and been nominated for a variety of awards for her portrayal of Becky? Done

References

They need to be consistant, so either the work and publishers are all linked or they're not.

Comment I always link all, just noticed a clean up editor User:Ohconfucius changed them all and gave this reason: (per WP:MOSNUM, WP:Linking), I cannot revert it now for some reason.RAIN the ONE (Talk) 14:06, 11 July 2010 (UTC) UPDATED -

Done - I linked them all anyway. =)[reply]

Some of the months in the accessdates were abbreviated (Aug, Dec, etc) and I think I've fixed them all (for consistency). Just have a quick scan to see if I've missed any.

Comment They're okay now, the editor changed all my work.RAIN the ONE (Talk) 14:06, 11 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I see The Mirror is being used, I think it's okay because the info you're backing up are quotes from interviews. I had a quick look in the Reliable Sources noticeboard archives and the thread I came across didn't say it couldn't be used. It wouldn't hurt to have a look around for other sources just in case I'm totally mistaken though.

Comment - The mirror is the only one available with the text I wanted to use, I avoided it where possible.RAIN the ONE (Talk) 14:06, 11 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

There's no need to rush in getting things fixed. :) - JuneGloom07 Talk? 22:40, 10 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

How odd, I've just noticed the article was moved, but the talk page wasn't. When the GA is finished, we'll look into moving the talk page to match the article. - JuneGloom07 Talk? 22:51, 10 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Great work, everything is fine. I've gone and passed the article. :) - JuneGloom07 Talk? 20:22, 11 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]