Talk:Battlefield (song)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 14:15, 10 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I will review the article :) Aaron • ^{You Da One} 14:15, 10 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. Oz ^talk 20:38, 10 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Please put a Done or Not done explaining your concern next to addressed points.

Lead

Lyrically, the song "is about a tumultuous relationship where neither side wants to compromise." → When you put a quote in the lead, you have to put the source there.
- Not done I'm confused. Do you mean: Lyrically, the song "is about a tumultuous relationship where neither side wants to compromise", as stated by Jocelyn Vena of MTV News or do I just add a reference? Oz ^talk 00:54, 11 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  - Just the footnote, yes. Aaron • ^{You Da One} Done
I did a slight copyedit of the lead. There were no major issues.
- Thanks. But the last sentence: "The song has been covered by English alternative rock band Fightstar which was performed on the television show One Life to Live" makes it seem like they performed the song on the show which they didn't. Oz ^talk 00:54, 11 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  - That's how it read because of the order you had written it in. So the band didn't perform it on TV? Aaron • ^{You Da One}
    - No, the band and the tv show both covered the song. Oz ^talk 01:26, 11 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]
      - They both covered it? How does a TV show cover a song? Aaron • ^{You Da One}
        Its like Glee. Oz ^talk 01:35, 11 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]
        So Fightstar didn't perform the cover on One Life to Live? I'm confused lol. Aaron • ^{You Da One}
        Fightstar performed Battlefield on BBC Radio 1's Live Lounge and the cast of One Life to Live performed Battlefield on their show (One Life to Live). Oz ^talk 22:26, 11 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Background and release

"She later received a phone call saying she was going to record "Battlefield"." → I think this could be worded better. How about "She later received a phone call which confirmed that she was to record "Battlefield"." Done
"was first released" → removed "first" Done
"A Digital EP with" → why is "Digital" capitalised. Done
"Germany on July 10" → put a comma after 10. Done
"A Compact Disc single" → change to [[Compact Disc single|CD single]]. Done

Composition

"Lyrically, the song "is about a tumultuous relationship..." → "The song's lyrics revolve around "a tumultuous relationship..." Done
"Nick Levine of Digital Spy" → Link Digital Spy
- Already linked in Background and release. Oz ^talk 22:26, 11 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Can you provide a better caption for the audio file? Done

Critical reception

", writing that," → ", writing" Done
""incredible" and wrote, " → ""incredible," writing " Done
You say "Battlefield" 10 times in this section. Replace some of them with "the song" or "it". Done
This is like WP:QUOTEFARM, can you paraphrase some of the quotes. Done
You say "writing" or "wrote" a lot, how about "described", "stated", "noted", "thought", "concluded" ? Done

Chart performance

Again, you write "Battlefield" 11 times, it's very repetitive. Done
Numbers one to nine should be written as such. Only double digits should be written numerically. Be consistent, as you flick between the two. Done
"In the United Kingdom, "Battlefield" debuted on the UK Singles Chart" → Use either United Kingdom or UK Singles Chart, you don't need to say both. Done
"In Ireland, "Battlefield" debuted and peaked at number nine on the Irish Singles Chart" → Same here. Don't need to say both.
"number 81.." → There are two full stops. Done
"the Netherlands" → The Netherlands Done
"In Switzerland, "Battlefield" debuted and peaked on the Swiss Singles Chart" → Same as UK and Ireland points above. Done
"In Sweden, "Battlefield" debuted on the Swedish Singles Chart" → Same as UK, Ireland and Switzerland. Done
I made some corrections to the sales certifications.
- Thanks. Oz ^talk 23:01, 11 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Music video

Would be really good if you could uploaded a screenshot.
"1971 De Tomaso Pantera sports car" → Unless you find a source for this, you will have to simply say "car" Done
"Sparks lying out in a field" → "Sparks laying down in a field" Done
Could you expand the synopsis a bit more? Only because this is quite a small section. Done

Live performances and cover versions

"and was accompanied" → "and accompanied" Accompanied is already in the past tense, no need for was. Done
The first paragraph could be refined more, at the moment is just like a list. Done

Track listing and formats

No issues.

Credits and personnel

I did a slight copyedit. Put the list into two columns.
No other issues.

Charts and certifications

"Battlefield" charted on the US Adult Contemporary chart [1] Done
Use the certification style table which can be seen here [2] Done

Release history

For Germany, put the footnotes next to the country, not the format. Done

References

MTV references: work parameters are MTV/MTV News etc., and the publisher is Viacom. Done
Apple references: Only put Apple, not Apple Inc. Done
FN6: Link [[iTunes Store]] and [[Apple Inc.|Apple]] as this is the first Apple ref. Done
FN19: Link [[Billboard (magazine)|Billboard]] and [[Prometheus Global Media]] as this is the first Billboard ref. Done
7digital.com is not a reliable source, so you need to remove all of them. Done
FN23: Remove Inc., link CBS Done
FN34: Unlink Billboard and PGM, as this is the second reference instance. Done
FN37: Remove Inc. Done
Chartstats.com is a big no no. Done
~~Jordinsparks.com is also not reliable, it's self published.~~

Summary

On hold for 7 days. Let me know when you have addressed everything. If you have any questions, just ask me. Aaron • ^{You Da One} 17:42, 13 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Are you still amending issues without a

Done ? Aaron • ^{You Da One} 13:36, 14 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

No I just havent finished yet. Sorry if I'm taking long. Oz ^talk 19:43, 14 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Completely done? Can you not expand the music video synopsis? Aaron • ^{You Da One} 01:34, 15 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Internet is slow at the moment its pissing me off. I can't remember what the video looks like. Oz ^talk 03:12, 15 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

OKay. I'm passing the article. Everything else has been addressed. It's not the end of the world that there isn't a screenshot, at least there is an audio sample. Aaron • ^{You Da One} 12:50, 15 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I was talking about the synopsis but thanks. Oz ^talk 13:35, 15 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]