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Talk:Battle of the Pusan Perimeter/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Hawkeye7 (talk • contribs • count) 20:26, 12 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

Very impressive

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Comments

  1. Battle of Pusan Perimeter links to 4 different disambiguation pages (fix links).
    1. Far East Air Force
    2. Far East Command
    3. Nam River
    4. Salient
Fixed all of these. —Ed!(talk) 03:11, 21 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  1. Spelling/grammatical errors:
    1. By that time, the Eighth Army's force of combat troops were roughly equal to North Korean forces attacking the region Force is singular, so were -> was
      Fixed. —Ed!(talk) 23:32, 21 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    2. These forces occupied the western segment of the perimeter, along the Naktong river Capitalize "river"
      Fixed. —Ed!(talk) 23:32, 21 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    3. The 2nd Infantry Division, 5th Regimental Combat Team, and 1st Provisional Marine Brigade and a British Army brigade Delete the first "and". And name the British brigade!
      Fixed. —Ed!(talk) 23:32, 21 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    4. By the end of the battle, Eighth Army's force had gone from three under-strength divisions to four fully-manned formations which were well equipped and well prepared for war. Er, not really, no. As subsequent operations would prove. The divisions were still under-manned.
      Fixed. —Ed!(talk) 23:32, 21 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    5. By the end of the battle, Two sentences in a row starting with the same phrase.
      Fixed. —Ed!(talk) 23:32, 21 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    6. The US 25th Infantry Division held the southernmost flank at Masan, While the 24th Infantry Division withdrew to Koch'ang De-captialise "while"
      Fixed. —Ed!(talk) 23:32, 21 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    7. On August 10 the Marines picked up the advance, inadvertently discovering the North Korean 83rd Motorized Regiment of the 105th Armored Division. Insert comma after "10". (Polish dates - echh)
      Fixed. —Ed!(talk) 23:32, 21 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    8. However the 1st Provisional Marine Brigade forces were withdrawn from the force on August 12 to be redeployed elsewhere on the perimeter Comma after "However" and change "forces were" -> "was"
      Fixed. —Ed!(talk) 23:32, 21 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  2. Moreover:
    1. Subsequent research indicates that the North Korean army had around 70,000 combat troops committed to the Pusan Perimeter on August 5, with most of its divisions far understrength. Delete "subsequent research indicates that"
      Fixed. —Ed!(talk) 23:53, 21 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    2. Eventually, Australia, Canada and New Zealand provided ships as well. HMAS Bataan arrived before the United Kingdom navy, but you are implying that it arrived later. Suggest deleting "eventually". (There is also the matter of 77 Sqn RAAF, which commenced operations on the same day as US air units. A reader might infer a lack of non-US air.)
      Fixed. —Ed!(talk) 23:53, 21 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    3. Why is Hoyt (fn 5) referenced differently to everything else? Move it down into the bibliography and replace with a citation like the others
      Fixed. —Ed!(talk) 23:53, 21 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    4. Task Force Kean continued forward supported by naval artillery This means land guns manned by sailors. You mean "naval gunfire".
      Fixed. —Ed!(talk) 23:53, 21 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

More to come...

Just checking
Do you plan to add more? I was going to fix all of them at the same time... —Ed!(talk) 03:11, 21 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    1. Outbreak of war. The 24th Infantry Division was sent to stem the North Korean advance. Its mission was changed to delaying it when this proved to be beyond it.
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