Talk:Battle of Vrbanja Bridge/GA1
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Reviewer: AustralianRupert (talk · contribs) 23:52, 28 April 2016 (UTC)
- Comments/suggestions
- G'day, good work on this. I have a few suggestions for possible improvements: AustralianRupert (talk) 00:38, 29 April 2016 (UTC)
- "Battle of Vrbanja bridge" --> I wonder if "Bridge" should be capitalised here? Also, shouldn't it have a definate article? e.g. "Battle of the Vrbanja Bridge"? Same same throughout the article where Vrbanja bridge appears...
- I've gone with capitalising Bridge, but with the proper noun I don't think it then needs the definite article, see Battle of Long Tan
- No worries. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 02:01, 1 May 2016 (UTC)
- ranks are generally not presented in infoboxes
- removed.
- I wonder if it could be clarified that the VRS were the "Serbs" for lay readers?
- Done.
- in the infobox Lecointre is a lieutenant, but in the body of the article is a captain
- checked the sources, Captain, removed from infobox.
- in the lead, the first sentence is quite long. I wonder if it could be split somewhere
- Done.
- link "platoon"
- Done.
- "In response, the VRS seized 377 UNPROFOR hostages..." I wonder if this could be explained. How was this achieved? Weren't the UNPROFOR members armed, did they resist, or were the ROE prohibitive?
- Basically, the peacekeepers were isolated in observation posts in exposed positions and equipped with only personal weapons, and the Bosnian Serbs were equipped with tanks and artillery. They were captured in a coordinated way over a short period of time. But saying that, I can't find a reliable source, I just know because I was getting my company ready to deploy and we were briefed. I'll keep looking. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 06:58, 4 May 2016 (UTC)
- grammar tweak: "carried out by USAF F-16s and Spanish Air Force EF-18As Hornets..." --> "carried out by USAF F-16s and Spanish Air Force EF-18A Hornets"
- Done.
- General Rose ---> full name/link?
- Done.
- "expired and, as predicted, fighting resumed..." predicted by whom? On second thought, I would suggest just removing "as predicted"
- Done.
- link "rules of engagement"
- Done.
- "VRS soldiers posing as French troops captured the UN observation posts on both ends of the bridge" --> what were the VRS hoping to achieve by taking the bridge? Was it part of plans to establish a bridgehead on the other side for an offensive?
- "About 05:20 on 27 May, Captain Francois Lecointre had lost radio contact..." what position did Lecointre hold? Pl commander or coy commander, or some other position? OPSO?
- Done.
- spelling inconsistency: "armored" v. "armoured"
- Done.
- " at the cost of the life of Private Jacki Humblot." --> " at the cost of the life of one Frenchman, Private Jacki Humblot."
- Done.
- I suggest splitting the second paragraph of the French reaction section somewhere
- Done.
- " under the threat of killing the French hostages. The wounded French soldier was immediately released and evacuated to a UN hospital". These two sentences seem at odds. Why did the Serbs release the wounded Frenchmen if they were threatening to kill the French hostages?
- Possibly because he was shot by the Bosniaks, not by the Bosnian Serbs, but I don't have a source for that.
- " supporting mission in Sarajevo's Jewish cemetery..." Given the article is quite short, I wonder if this supporting operation could be outlined in a bit more detail, particularly if it is pertinent to the fighting around the brigde?
- I think it was part of the direct fire support for the assault, but none of the sources explicitly say that.
- "Lieutenant Colonel Erik Roussel..." --> what was Roussel's position?
- All it says is that he was a member of FREBAT4, added that.
- the lead says: "Following the battle, VRS forces were observed to be less likely to engage French UN peacekeepers deployed in the city." I suggest adding this sentence to the Aftermath before the Roussel quote
- I wonder if the Aftermath could be expanded a bit further. For example, was there any further fighting around the bridge later in the conflict? Did the UN maintain possession of the bridge through this? etc. Were any further UN hostages taken during the subsequent engagements?
- This was the high tide of the hostage-taking, so far as I know the UN retained control of the bridge until NATO took over in December.
- date format inconsistency: "28 May 1995" v. "2015-06-30"
- Done.
- accessdate for the Operation Deny Flight citation?
- Done.
- "File:Vrbanja bridge span view.jpg": does this need a freedom of panorama tag? I don't think Bosnia and Herzegovina allows this: [1]. Perhaps this needs to be a non free file?
- I've just replaced it with the APC one for now.
- I will come back in a few days and see how you are getting on. Please feel free to ping me here if you have any questions or need clarification about my comments. Keep up the good work. Cheers, AustralianRupert (talk) 00:38, 29 April 2016 (UTC)
- AustralianRupert I've done as much as I can with the above, some of it just didn't get recorded after the shooting died down. Cheers, Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 09:58, 4 May 2016 (UTC)
- No worries, those changes look good. I am happy that the article meets the GA criteria. I think that if you are wanting to take the article to ACR, though, you could possibly mention the transition to NATO in December in the Aftermath section. Thanks for your efforts. Good luck with taking the article further. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 11:46, 4 May 2016 (UTC)