Talk:Battle of Triangle Hill/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Ironholds (talk) 15:35, 20 December 2009 (UTC)

Background

• "With the resignation of Dwight D. Eisenhower as Commander of NATO in June 1952" - "With the resignation of Dwight D. Eisenhower as Commander of NATO forces in Korea in June 1952", since he wasn't commander of NATO as an organisation.
• "General Matthew Ridgway was transferred from Korea to Europe" - "General Matthew Ridgway was transferred from Korea to Europe to replace him" or similar? Assuming that was the motive for the transfer. It's kind of a loose sentence at the moment.

Reword the entire sentence, Dwight D. Eisenhower is now the "Supreme Commander of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization"

• "reengage the Communists in a major campaign" - "reengage the Chinese forces in a major campaign", since it wasn't an assault on all commies :P.

I though Communist are sides like how UN was used in the article...nvm, I change it anyway.

• "due primarily to Sino-Korean insistence" - "primarily due to Sino-Korean insistence". Suggest an inline citation for this sentence, as well.

Added citation, changed.

• "the High Command of the PVA" - link PVA.

Linked

• "that describes a V shape " - "that appears as a V shape" maybe? "describes" doesn't really work.

Changed

• "The other terminated in a pair of hills that had been dubbed Jane Russell" - surely they still terminate in a pair of hills?

Changed the word "terminate" to "connected"

That hasn't fixed the problem. "connected" and "terminated" are past tense - although not pluperfect, they imply the ridge no longer terminates in a pair of hills which, short of tactical nukes being used for some quick redecoration, they probably do. Ironholds (talk) 18:00, 20 December 2009 (UTC)

Oops, serious misunderstanding, fixed. Jim101 (talk) 18:07, 20 December 2009 (UTC)

Battle

• "the two hundred-eighty guns and howitzers" - two hundred and eighty, surely? And link howitzer.

Linked and fixed.

• Ditto "three hundred thirty seven men".

Fixed

• "prevented UN forces from receiving any resupply, the defenders were forced to give up all captured ground after running out of ammunition" - "prevented UN forces from receiving any resupply, and the defenders were forced to give up all captured ground after running out of ammunition".

Fixed

• "replaced the 2nd Battalion of the ROK 32nd Regiment with 2nd Battalion of the ROK 17th Regiment" "replaced the 2nd Battalion of the ROK 32nd Regiment with the 2nd Battalion of the ROK 17th Regiment".

Fixed

• "The PVA 45th Division had infiltrated small units into UN positions every night to resupply the trapped units and to evacuate the wounded, heavy casualties were inflicted on Chinese logistics and medical units." - not quite sure to make of this sentence, but it certainly needs tweaking.

Reworded

• "But there was no battalion level combat between October 20 and October 29. UN forces were able to fortify their new possessions while the Chinese were gathering their strength for a decisive blow." - "As there was no battalion level combat between October 20 and October 29. UN forces were able to fortify their new possessions while the Chinese were gathering their strength for a decisive blow." and an inline, please.

I added a citation from Chinese sides that claimed most of the battle at this phase are just patrols, which were no larger than company level.

Excellent; did you fix the grammar problem there as well? Ironholds (talk) 19:14, 20 December 2009 (UTC)

I actually rewrote the entire sentence. It is now "As there was no battalion level combat between October 20 and October 29,[51] the Chinese were able to gather their strength for a decisive blow." Jim101 (talk) 19:16, 20 December 2009 (UTC)

• "the 44th Division increased its attacks in strength" - "the 44th Division increased the strength of its attacks"

Fixed

• "15th Corps bombarded the Koreans with one hundred thirty three" - the 15th Corps, and the numbering problem again.

Fixed

• "When the bombardment ended by midnight" - at or before midnight, surely?

Around that point...Chinese said 12:00 a.m., UN said 1:00 a.m....changed to "at"

• "The Koreans fought to the last man, with only one hundred and seventy-five soldiers survived the onslaught out of the three defending companies." - first, "with" and "survived" are different tenses. Second, if 175 survived, that isn't fighting to the last man.

Fixed and reworded

• "With the PVA 91st Regiment of the 31st Division, 12th Corps, arrived as reinforcement on the night of October 31" - arriving, not arrived.

Fixed

Aftermath

• "one of the most prestigious unit within the PLA, and the PLAAF selected the 15th Corps to become China's first airborne corps in 1961.[71] It remains the most elite corps-size units in China today" - prestigious units, corps-size unit. Ironholds (talk) 15:35, 20 December 2009 (UTC)

Fixed. Jim101 (talk) 18:01, 20 December 2009 (UTC)