Talk:Battle of Settepozzi/GA1
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Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 20:40, 20 October 2018 (UTC)
Hi Constantine. I have done some copy editing. Could you flag up anything you're not happy with. Also:
- "both Venice and Genoa remained rather passive" A little wishy washy. Lose the "rather"? Or rephrase to be more precise?
- "awaited political developments in the West" I don't think that West should be upper case. I don't think that this will mean much to most readers. Maybe replace "West" with 'Italy'?
- "the deposition of the autocratic Captain of the People" As "deposition" has several meanings it may be clearer to replace it with 'removal', or similar.
- "assumption of power by a collective leadership from among the noble houses" Optional: I think that this may be clearer 'assumption of power by a collective leadership representing the noble houses'.
- "Genoese fleet of 38 or 39 galleys and 10 saette,[a] comprising some 6,000 men" A fleet comprises its component ships. The 6,000 men will be crew, or marines, or something else, but you can't use "comprising".
- Sources. Do you have publisher locations for the two books containing the Dotson articles?
- Images. Any chance of an image of a galley of (approximately) this period, to give a reader an idea of what it was all about? Ha! The one from Battle of Trapani would do nicely.
Classy work. You planning on pushing this one further?
Gog the Mild (talk) 20:57, 26 October 2018 (UTC)
- Hi Gog the Mild, good suggestions as usual, done. I am certainly going to nominate this for ACR, but am not so sure whether it has the wherewithal for FA (that's the curse with many Byzantine articles, there is so little info on the subject that going through the hassle of a full FAR is rather pointless both for me and for the reviewers). I do plan to eventually get all the articles on the War of Saint Sabas to A-class and above, though, and perhaps have a featured topic or something like this. Constantine ✍ 21:42, 26 October 2018 (UTC)
- And done. Possibly the easiest GAN I have assessed. Let me know when it goes for ACR. And if you fancy doing one (or more!) of mine I currently have seven unloved GANs to choose from. Gog the Mild (talk) 21:51, 26 October 2018 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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"reverses" or reversal?
[edit]"Venice's main commercial rival, Genoa had been embroiled since 1256 in the War of Saint Sabas against Venice, and after a reverses suffered in the conflict, the city was faced with the prospect of being cut off entirely from the lucrative Levantine trade."
Shouldn't that be 'reversal'?