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Talk:Battle of Sant Esteve d'en Bas/GA1

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Reviewer: Hchc2009 (talk · contribs) 08:14, 5 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]


I'll read through later and start the review proper tomorrow night. Hchc2009 (talk) 08:14, 5 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Various copyediting/translation issue to resolve, then good to go. I'll put on hold for now. Hchc2009 (talk) 07:55, 18 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Looks good - nice work! Hchc2009 (talk) 20:00, 23 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Well-written:

(a) the prose is clear and concise, respects copyright laws, and the spelling and grammar are correct;

  • Worth linking the less common terms in the lead, e.g. "Catalan", "the War of the Grand Alliance", "corps" etc.
Done
  • The MOS would have "brigadier Urbain Le Clerc de Juigné" (and similar examples) capitalised - "Brigadier Urbain Le Clerc de Juigné"
Done
  • "Juigné's force was in a punishment expedition" - "was part of a punitive expedition"?
Done. Changed to "punitive expedition"
  • ""the best relief that Catalonia can have are the outer intelligences," - can I check that "intelligences" was the English word used in the text? Or has it been translated? It reads very strangely.
I've checked the original in Spanish and changed "intelligences" –a too literal translation– to "capabilities". The RAE's 2nd definition of "intelligence" is "capability to solve a problem". It suits better, I think.
  • "The French army under the Duke of Noailles, however, was also short of means," - "means" read oddly in this construct - "was also short of men and materiel"? "short of resources"?
Done. Changed to "short of resources"
  • "In 1695 the French found that the countrymen of the areas that they occupied" - "inhabitants of the areas"? Unless they were French countrymen living there...?
I meant Catalan countrymen of the areas occupied by the French. I've changed the original to "In 1695 the French command found that the inhabitants of the areas occupied by the French army were reluctant to pay war contributions". I think it's better understood.
  • "repelled a punishment column of" - I don't think a "punishment column" exists as an English phrase?
Done. Changed to "punishment force"
  • "and killed some 60 or 100 of them" - this is unclear if it means "between 60 and 100" or "either 60 or 100"
Done. Changed to "between 60 and 100"
  • " veguer of the town of Vic", "veguer of Vic". "veguer" is obscure for most English readers, so could I suggest "the veguer..." to make it easier to see it is a job title?
Done. Changed to "the veguer..."
  • "and on 24 February he defeated at Navata a company of French dragoons, " - "and on 24 February he defeated a company of French dragoons at Navata" would probably be more natural
Done
  • "These troops were taken from the régiment d'Alsace (German), the régiment de Manuel (Swiss), the régiment of Schellenberg (Swiss) and the régiment Royal-Artillerie (French)." I'd suggest "These troops were taken from the German Alsace regiment, the Swiss Manuel and Schellenberg regiments, and the French Royal Artillery regiment"
Done
  • "while men prepared to fight off the French column." - does this mean "while the men prepared..."? Or did some men not prepare?
I meant all the men. Added "the"
  • " They also called for help Ramon de Sala i Saçala, who was at the nearby village of Sant Feliu de Pallerols with Captains Josep Mas de Roda and Pere Baliart i Teula recruiting men to raise three new companies of miquelets." two more commas would help this flow: " They also called for help Ramon de Sala i Saçala, who was at the nearby village of Sant Feliu de Pallerols, with Captains Josep Mas de Roda and Pere Baliart i Teula, recruiting men to raise three new companies of miquelets."
Done
  • " coeval French artillery general and military historian of Louis XIV's reign, " - "a contemporary French artillery general..." would be more natural English
Done
  • "The French column surrenderd on the promise that the officers would not be unclothed, " - "unclothed" isn't natural English here...do you mean "stripped"? Or was it that they kept the honours of war?
I meant literally stripped. Changed
  • "Lieutenant general " - "Lieutenant-general" (I think the ancien regime hyphenated their lieutenant general rank)
Done
  • "of incompetence for looting the country on their own benefit and having put on arms the peasantry against the French army." - the English feels a bit off here. Was their incompetence that they were plundering the country for their own benefit, or that they had antagonised the peasantry, or both? Normally I'd be surprised to see the former described as "incompetence" (although it would be an offence).
I've checked the source. Noailles charged Saint-Sylvestre of incompetence and, along with other high officers, of looting the country on their own benefit. Changed
  • Not a GA requirement, but if you wanted to mark what language the reference works are in, you could use the {{fr icon}} tag; e.g. "* Courcillon, Philippe de (1830). Mémoires et journal du Marquis De Dangeau: publiés pour la première fois sur les manuscrits originaux, Vol. 3. Paris: Mame et Delaunay-Vallée. OCLC 10400729. (in French)
  • Hchc2009 (talk) 07:55, 18 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

(b) it complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.

Factually accurate and verifiable:

(a) it provides references to all sources of information in the section(s) dedicated to the attribution of these sources according to the guide to layout;

(b) it provides in-line citations from reliable sources for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines;

(c) it contains no original research.

Broad in its coverage:

(a) it addresses the main aspects of the topic;

(b) it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).

Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without bias, giving due weight to each.

Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.

Illustrated, if possible, by images:

(a) images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content;

(b) images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.

Done. I've removed the periods. Weymar Horren (talk) 06:36, 8 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
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