Talk:Battle of Plum Point Bend/GA1
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Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 06:49, 25 April 2023 (UTC)
I will take a look at this one. Zawed (talk) 06:49, 25 April 2023 (UTC)
Lead
- ...guarded by an ironclad be further...: is the "be" supposed to be there?
- Rephrased. The grammar made sense in my mind, but that doesn't mean much
- Confederate vessels:...: I think the colon should be a comma?
- Yes, corrected
- The Federal ironclads had lighter drafts than the Confederate vessels,...: I don't think lighter is quite right when referring to draft. Shallower would be better but that is used later in the sentence, so how about " The Federal ironclads had a reduced draft relative to the Confederate vessels,..."?
- Actually, for this context, it generally works. For instance, the later tinclad warships were often known as "light drafts" because of their shallower drafts
- Oh OK - I hadn't seen it expressed like that before. Zawed (talk) 04:17, 29 April 2023 (UTC)
- Actually, for this context, it generally works. For instance, the later tinclad warships were often known as "light drafts" because of their shallower drafts
Background
- In the first paragraph, the phrase "In February 1862" is used twice.
- Fixed
- Captain Charles Henry Davis had taken command of the Federal squadron on May 9.: there is no antecedence for the squadron, was this the ships that ran past Island No. 10's defences or the naval ships of 12 April?
- I've rejigged this section to clarify that the Fort Donelson, Island No. 10, and Fort Pillow Federal fleet is the same unit
- with the rest of his fleet upriver;...: suggest "with the rest of Davis's fleet upriver;"
- I've rephrased this sentence, so the issue is no longer in question (this applied to both Davis and the prior commanding officer, so I have now named)
Battle
- ... fire another volley in the Confederate ship.: suggest " fire another volley into the Confederate ship."
- Done
- ...; this time the fire came from Carondelet.: the "this time" seems unnecessary since the previous sentence already refers to Carondelet.
- Done
- The Federal vessels had lighter drafts than...: same comment as the lead.
- See reply above
Sources
- Sources appear reliable, the majority are university presses.
- I did a spot check based on the online source (cite 1); this checks out OK, AGF on the others.
Other stuff
- Image tags OK
- Dupelinks: 'Memphis, Tennessee', USS Benton, USS Pittsburgh, USS St Louis
- Should be all resolved
I made a few little tweaks as I went through the article, but otherwise that's it for me. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 10:14, 28 April 2023 (UTC)
- @Zawed: - All concerns have been actioned except for the light draft one, which I've posted a response to above. Hog Farm Talk 03:15, 29 April 2023 (UTC)
- This looks to be all in order, so am passing as GA as I believe that the article meets the necessary criteria. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 04:20, 29 April 2023 (UTC)
- @Zawed: - All concerns have been actioned except for the light draft one, which I've posted a response to above. Hog Farm Talk 03:15, 29 April 2023 (UTC)