Talk:Battle of McDowell/GA1
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Reviewer: Peacemaker67 (talk · contribs) 05:37, 2 May 2020 (UTC)
Interesting little skirmish. I take it you are focussing mainly on Confederate victories? I have a few comments:
- suggest adding the contemporary ranks of all commanders throughout, including in the lead (ie "Brigadier Generals Robert Milroy and Robert C. Schenck" etc)
- I think I've caught all of them
- "After McDowell, Jackson
woulddefeated Union"- Done
- "the Union high command ordered the majority o
utf Banks' command"- Done
- the link to Richard Garnett is to a disambiguation page
- Fixed
- "the Union high command"
- Fixed
- suggest "that had been
dispatchedmoved out earlier" if that is what is meant?- Done
- "In April, Jackson
wouldreceived"- Done
- "and would be reinforced"→"and it was expected that he would be reinforced"
- "departed their camps in the area of West View"
- Fixed
- "A road known as the Parkersburg and Staunton Turnpike ran through the area" could you say which direction it ran?
- Added
- where it kept up a regular fire? Battle hasn't been joined at this stage, so unless they were firing before the battle commenced, I suggest splitting this into the deployment of the guns here and moving this sentence fragment to the Battle section
- The sources seem to indicate that they were firing before the battle started, for some odd reason. I guess since they had a decent idea that the enemy was out there somewhere, the just decided to lob some shells around and hope they hit something
- "32 Ohio Infantry" etc is an odd usage, any reason you aren't using the ordinals? ie 32nd, you do later
- Fixed, as well as with the other two regiments in the sentence
- The Opposing forces section needs a cited summary of each order of battle, ie "The Union forces consisted of: one brigade under Milroy comprising seven regiments of infantry, two batteries of artillery and a cavalry regiment; and a brigade under Schenk comprising three infantry regiments, one artillery battery and one cavalry regiment." same for the Confederates
- Added
- given you will now have introduced the Confederate brigade commanders in the section above, just use surnames thereafter
- Done
- "from
whence towhich they could observe"- Done
- "Confederate
'splans"- Done
- "his line
ofon Sitlington's Hill"- Fixed
- "conceal the Union
positiontroops"- Done
- suggest "The fighting
became very fiercewas very heavy" to avoid the duplication of "fierce"- Done
- The Confederates
wouldthen received further reinforcements- Done. I have a bad habit of using would in such contexts.
- "The fighting
wouldended around 9:00 pm"- Done
- "Bull Pasture River.Jackson" needs a space
- Done
- "
Brigadier GeneralJohnson"- Removed the superfluous rank
- "Jackson
wouldcontinued his Valley campaign"- Fixed
- "and he
would thendefeated Banks' main force"- Fixed
- one citation is to Cozzens 1998, but I think this is supposed to be 2008?
- Fixed
- Tanner needs a location
- I don't own the book, so I had to do some research online, but I think I have the right location.
- what is the source of the information on File:Jackson Valley Campaign Part1.png?
- I have no idea. It appears to have been in the article for over a decade, and the creator didn't state where they got their information from. Removed.
That's all I have. Placing on hold for the above to be addressed. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 07:05, 3 May 2020 (UTC)
- Peacemaker67 - Thanks for the review. I believe I've handled everything, is there anything additional or something I missed? Hog Farm (talk) 19:45, 3 May 2020 (UTC)
- This article is well-written, verifiable using reliable sources, covers the subject well, is neutral and stable, contains no plagiarism, and is illustrated by acceptably licensed images with appropriate captions. Passing. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 03:12, 5 May 2020 (UTC)