Talk:Battle of Magdhaba/GA2

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Hawkeye7 (talk · contribs) 02:03, 15 March 2012 (UTC)

Reviewing. I will check the War Diaries. Have copies here. Hawkeye7 (talk) 02:03, 15 March 2012 (UTC) GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it reasonably well written?

   A. Prose quality:

"However, the battle of attrition on the Somme, coupled with a change of Britain's Prime Minister; David Lloyd George succeeded Herbert Asquith on 7 December, destabilised the status quo sufficiently to bring about a policy reversal" The semicoln is not right here. Re-word.

• re edited. --Rskp (talk) 00:39, 26 March 2012 (UTC)

1. B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:

   Background:

   Link "Anzac Mounted Division" (I know it is in the lead, but the two should stand separate.)

   Unlink "Australian".

   "Henry G. Chauvel" (US form) should be "Harry Chauvel"

   "Major General" should link to "Major General (Australia)" here

   "General Archibald Murray" "General" should link to "General (United Kingdom)" and it should be "Sir Archibald"

"Lieutenant General Phillip Chetwode" Sir Phillip

• Links edited. Added Murray's title but Chetwode and Chauvel became knights later.--Rskp (talk) 00:39, 26 March 2012 (UTC)
  • No, that is not right. Chetwode was a baronet, and therefore had the title "Sir" from when his father died in 1905. Hawkeye7 (talk) 01:19, 26 March 2012 (UTC)
    • Sorry, my mistake. Title added. --Rskp (talk) 02:50, 26 March 2012 (UTC)

"As a Major General, Chetwode had been in command" Major general should not be capitised here, as it is not part of a title.

• fixed --Rskp (talk) 00:42, 26 March 2012 (UTC)

Prelude:

"They moved out without their 2nd Light Horse Brigade" should be "the" instead of "their"

• fixed --Rskp (talk) 00:42, 26 March 2012 (UTC)

Any chance of adding geocordinates?

• Not sure how this is done.--Rskp (talk) 00:39, 26 March 2012 (UTC)
  • Done now. Hawkeye7 (talk) 02:27, 26 March 2012 (UTC)

• Thank you. --Rskp (talk) 03:04, 26 March 2012 (UTC)

Aftermath

"Lieutenant Colonel Granville" -> "Lieutenant Colonel C. H. Granville"

• Initials added --Rskp (talk) 00:39, 26 March 2012 (UTC)

1. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

   A. References to sources:

Water. Before the pipeline was in operation, water was hauled on the rattler. However, this was also a major consumer of water, being a steam train.

• Have not been able to find this quote about water in the article. Maybe it was referring to the railways built to support the forward defences of the Suez Canal? --Rskp (talk) 03:16, 26 March 2012 (UTC)

1. B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:

There's a "[not in citation given]" tag after fn 42

• I'm not sure why this tag was added, because the information regarding Chetwode's arrival and his organising of the supplies which made the mounted division more mobile is all contained in the reference. Perhaps its the assumption that this information could not have been known to von Kressenstein. Or, maybe its the page number, which is page 3 of Appendix No. 24 22 December 1916 09:10 but shows as page 31 of the online publication. --Rskp (talk) 03:04, 26 March 2012 (UTC)

1. C. No original research:

2. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. Major aspects:

"The Egyptian and Ottoman Frontier" Technically speaking, Egypt was just a British protectorate, and still part of the Ottoman Empire, so there was no such frontier.

• Yes, I see your point. Have changed it to 'Southern Palestine'. --Rskp (talk) 03:11, 26 March 2012 (UTC)

1. B. Focused:

2. Is it neutral?

   Fair representation without bias:

3. Is it stable?

   No edit wars, etc:

4. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?

   A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

   B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:

5. Overall:

   Pass or Fail: