Talk:Battle of Assaye/GA1

GA Review

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Initial Comments

"Wellesley's force, however, encountered the Maratha army 6 miles (9.7 km) further south than he anticipated under the command of Colonel Anthony Pohlmann". Which force was Pohlmann commanding Wellesley's or the Maratha army?

Reworded.

"A combination of bayonet and cavalry charges eventually forced the Confederacy army to retreat with the loss of most of their guns, but Wellesley's army was too battered and exhausted to pursue." You've been saying Maratha army, then you change to Confederacy. This is confusing.

It was an attempt to avoid repitition, but I agree and have reworded it.

"if he was restored to his principality at Poona". Should be "if he were"

Changed.

"final obstacle to British paramountcy over the Indian subcontinent" I think a word like "dominance" would be clearer, just a thought though.

Left as it is for now.

"in order to secure the interests of the British government and its allies". You cite this quote with two footnotes. Do both sources really use exactly the same words?

Removed one footnote.

"The bulk of his force were Company troops" Should either be "the bulk of his force was" or "the bulk of his forces were"

Changed.

"established a series of crossing points across the river to maintain his communication and supply lines." What is a crossing point? A bridge? A ford? A ferry?
Changed to bridges and boats.
"The rest of his army followed closely behind apart from a battalion of sepoys left at Naulniah to guard the baggage." Wikilink sepoy, I don't think you've linked it before.

Sepoy is already wikilinked in the previous sub-section.

Move the map of the battle up to the front of the battle section?

I had the same thought, but the positions on the map relate to the text in that particular sub-section.

"The Maratha cannonade punched holes in their line as they advanced" Should probably be "punched holes in the British line" to be more clear.

Changed.

The number of Maratha casualties is more difficult to ascertain; historians often estimate a total of 6,000 dead and wounded. Do all of the sources cited give a figure of 6,000 or do they provide a range?
Reworded. Is it an improvement?
"many of their European officers, including Pohlmann and Dupont" Who is Dupont? Also where did these officers find new employment (if the sources say)?

Dupont is already mentioned in the article. I have altered this but it may be a bit too wordy?

"Wellesley remained south while he established a hospital at Ajanta and awaited reinforcements from Poona." What does remained south mean? Remained in the south?

Is "Remained to the south" better?

"Wellesley later told Stevenson that "I should not like to see again such a loss as I sustained on the 23rd September, even if attended by such a gain"" and "After his retirement from military service, the Duke of Wellington (as he later became known) considered Assaye the finest thing he ever did in the way of fighting even when compared to his later military career." These two taken together seem a tad contradictory, perhaps a little language to clarify what he liked about his conduct of the battle?

Reworded slightly, but according to the sources Wellesley simply answered "Assaye" when asked what was his finest battle and did not give a reason why.

Is a separate "In fiction" section really needed for only a single book?

I wasn't sure about this either but I followed an example on Battle of Barrosa.

General comments

Good job!
The Aftermath section focuses mainly on Wellesley's side. Is there more that you could say about the battle in connection with the broader conflict and the battles at Aragon and Gawilghur? It's not really clear from the article how this battle affected th broader war.
Some more images would be nice. In particular, a map showing the general area, with some of the locations mentioned would be very helpful. A map showing the directions that both of the armies moved would be best, but just one of the area would work.

I agree, but after hours of searching, the infobox image is the only one of the battle I have been able to find so far. I'm working on a map.

Please review these suggestions at your convenience, then drop a note on my talk page when you've dealt with them. Cool3 (talk) 16:43, 10 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for reviewing. I have responded to your initial comments. BarretBonden (talk) 00:22, 16 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I think it's GA quality now, but if you're planning to take it to FA or above, I think it'll need a little more work, and some of those general comments might provide the basis. Cool3 (talk) 14:48, 16 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Final assessment against criteria

1. Well-written:

a) Prose quality is good

b) Complies with MOS

2. Accurate and verifiable

a) References are good

b) Plenty of inline citations

C) No original research

3. Broad coverage

a) Just about everything seems to be addressed

b) No unnecessary detail

4. Neutral 5. Stable 6. Images: More would be better, but some are present

a) Copyright status is good

b) Relevant with good captions