Talk:Battle of Akroinon/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jim Sweeney (talk) 09:55, 27 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for criteria)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Comments

No images so no problem there
Are there maps of the area that can be added ?
No disambiguation links
The ISBN needs checking for Winkelmann, Friedhelm as its not correct
Whittow, Mark is listed in the bibliography but not used as a reference
Should After his death, 'Abdallah al-Battal became one of the greatest heroes of Arab and later Turkish epic poetry as Sayyid Battal Ghazi. not be included in the aftermath section
The lede needs expanding should preferably be three paragraphs
There is almost nothing on the actual battle. This needs more detail at the moment all it consists of is The Emperor Leo confronted the second force at Akroinon, and secured a crushing victory: both Arab commanders fell, as well as the larger part of their army. About 6,800, however, resisted and managed to conduct an orderly retreat to Synnada, where they joined Sulayman
Some citation and clarification tags added

Jim Sweeney (talk) 21:59, 27 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Hello and thanks for the review! I've corrected the isbn, removed Whittow, and moved Battal to the Legacy section (good suggestion). I've tried to clarify the citation needed and other tags you placed. The problem with 8) is that there are no details known about how the battle unfolded, so by necessity the article limits itself on the peripheral events and a discussion on its importance. On the map, I am currently modifying File:Asia Minor ca 780 AD.svg for the situation ca. 740, it should be up by the end of the week. I've also expanded the lead section a bit, but I think that for such a relatively short article three paragraphs are too much. Per WP:LEAD at least, one paragraph should suffice. If there is any salient point it does not mention, I'll be happy to revise it again. Constantine ✍ 08:19, 29 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The map will be delayed a bit, my computer suffered a catastrophic disk failure in Friday and most of my recent files were lost before I had time to back them up. Constantine ✍ 07:30, 5 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]

At long last, the map is done! Sorry for the delay, but I added a few extra features such as roads and took the opportunity to make a few minor corrections here and there. Could you please re-check the article to detect any outstanding points, so we can wrap this up? Constantine ✍ 20:32, 15 July 2011 (UTC)[reply]