Talk:Barys Astana/GA1
Appearance
GA Review
[edit]GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: Winner 42 (talk · contribs) 01:09, 6 August 2015 (UTC)
Overall Comments
[edit]Placing under review, should be done in a day or two. Winner 42 Talk to me! 01:09, 6 August 2015 (UTC)
- Sorry for taking so long, been busy IRL, but here is my review please mark items when they are addressed. Thank you!
- Although some of the minor issues have been addressed, the major problems with this article have not been in 20 days of holding this review therefore I am failing it for now. Winner 42 Talk to me! 20:33, 26 August 2015 (UTC)
- No deadlinks, dab links, or copyvio
- The article switches between national varieties of English
- Oxford comma usage is inconsistent
Sectional Analysis
[edit]- Lead
- Seems to adequately summarize the article
- Usage of "it" and "they" to refer to the team is inconsistent, albeit a very minor issue
- Prior to 2015, the team played its home games at the Kazakhstan Sports Palace for 14 seasons, beginning in 2001. This should be reworded to include where they play now.
- In general the lead could be reworded so that the history is in chronological order.
- History
- The subpage seems to be a direct copy of this page. The main page should generally summarize the content on the subpage, might be worth redirecting the subpage for now.
- a result of resolution -> the result of a resolution
- who annually were -> who were annually
- The 2nd sentence needs to be reworded for grammar and clarity
- in a club history -> "in the club's history", or just delete
- the team doing fairly well Needs a non-primary source
- a good one Also needs a non-primary source
- the first Kazakh team into the new league -> the first Kazakh team to join the new league
- this time again in shootout Poor wording could be made clearer
- the team secured a second straight Kazakhstan Hockey Championship title Needs a source.
- The 2009–10 season saw Barys have a very similar season than the previous. Contradiction, needs editing for wording and clarity.
- Fan favourite Kevin Dallman Needs a source saying he was a fan favorite.
- the team's previous manager Andrei Shayanov remained in the team as an assistant coach Needs a citation.
- formed BBD line What is this? It is not explained.
- Arenas
- just began to build -> just began construction
- to the temporary relocations -> to relocate temporarily
- of existence -> of its existence
- the team based -> the team was based
- The main reason was the regrettably little capacity. information not given in source
- Team identity
- wrote -> is written
- with adding -> who added
- Rivalry with Ak Bars Kazan
- Rivalry -> The rivalry
- teams often refers as -> teams is often referred to as
- This section is OR and doesn't represent the source
- Leaders and below
- These sections have some serious WP:MOSLIST issues, I suggest rereading the guideline and changing sections to prose or removing them when appropriate
Review
[edit]GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
- Is it reasonably well written?
- Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
- A. Has an appropriate reference section:
- B. Cites reliable sources, where necessary:
- C. No original research:
- A. Has an appropriate reference section:
- Is it broad in its coverage?
- A. Major aspects:
- B. Focused (see summary style):
- A. Major aspects:
- Is it neutral?
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- Is it stable?
- No edit wars, etc:
- No edit wars, etc:
- Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
- A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
- B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
- A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
- Overall:
- Pass or Fail:
- Pass or Fail: