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Talk:Bart the Murderer/GA1

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GA Review

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Hey there. I'll be reviewing this article as part of my gradual process to remove backlog from the Television articles at GAN. See Talk:I Married Marge/GA1 for how I'll review this article. Gotta love those Swartzwelder episodes XD Nice work but some issues found. Let's begin. The Flash {talk} 19:24, 11 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

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  • ""Bart the Murderer" is the fourth episode of the The Simpsons' third season." -> needs to be changed to past tense, i.e. "was the fourth episode"
    • Present tense should be used here per WP:MOSTV
      • Alright.
  • "[...]make their first appearances[...]" -> past tense as well, "made their"
    •  Done
  • "The episode features cultural references to songs such as "Witchcraft" and "One Fine Day"[...]" -> also needs a fix in past tense, "episode featured cultural"
    • Present tense should be used here too. The episode still features these references.
  • "[...]of 13.4, and was the[...]" -> remove the comma, "13.4 and was"
    •  Done

Plot

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  • "Bart is psychologically tortured by nightmares of Skinner's ghost and of Bart's execution[...]" -> makes it sound like Bart is a different person than Bart; change to "and of his execution"
    •  Done

Production

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  • "He was modeled on the physical appearance[...]" -> better worded as "modeled after the," IMO
  • "[...]which opened just prior to him getting the role." -> "which opened just prior to when he received the role."
  • "[...]minds of the Simpsonites out[...]" -> "mind of [The Simpsons fans]" or put {{sic}} after "Simpsonites," as it's a slang term for the show's fans.
    •  Done

Cultural references

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  • "[...]copyrights for that song[...]" -> "copyrights for it."
  • The scene of Bart waking[...]" -> "scene where Bart is walking."
  • You seem to say "Bart" a lot in sentences one after another, which makes it a run on. Mind fixing that?
 Done (I think)

Reception

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  • Split up the ratings sentences with the part on reviews in the first paragraph.
    • The ratings paragraph would be too small IMO, and I think the text flows better this way.
  • Majority of it is "John Smith said 'blah blah blag'" - can you paraphrase more?
    •  Done

Images

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  • Is there a fairuse profile image that meets the requirements? Such as the one on "I Married Marge"? Or one where you can mention what the scene is alluding to like on "Reptar on Ice"?
  • File:JoeMantegnaMay08.jpg checks out - noted that the Flickr image is unavailable, but OTRS ticket proves it's allowed to be used.
  • File:Frank Sinatra laughing.jpg PD status checks out.
Thanks for reviewing! I think I got everything. :) Theleftorium 20:00, 11 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Final say

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GA review (see here for criteria)

Final review:

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS):
    I still think the "Reception" section could work with just a wee bit less quotes.
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars etc.:
    Talk page mentions an edit war, but it seems to have been resolved rather quickly.
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
    Sinatra pic should have (pictured) after his name as it gives the impression the image should be for the song, not the singer. With that it'll make more sense, IMO.
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
    Looking good - minor tweaks needed. The Flash {talk} 20:23, 11 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Done, thanks again! Theleftorium 20:51, 11 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
No problem! I'll be going down the list so expect a few more popping up today! The Flash {talk} 21:01, 11 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]