Talk:Baron Corbin/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: MPJ-DK (talk · contribs) 17:04, 26 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Alright I will be picking up the review of this one - both for the Wiki Cup and the GA cup as well. I will be making my review comments over the next couple of days. Side note - yes I work a lot on pro wrestling articles but hardly never on WWE related articles and I don't remember any interactions with the nominator so there should be no conflict of interest. And my intent is to ensure it's a Good Article, not a Good Pro Wrestling Article.

Side note, I would love some input on a Featured List candidate (Mexican National Light Heavyweight Championship) and a Featured Article candidate (CMLL World Heavyweight Championship). I am not asking for Quid pro Quo, but all help is appreciated. MPJ-US 17:04, 26 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

GA Toolbox

I like to get this checked out first, I have found issues using this that has led to quick fails so it's important this passes muster.

Peer review tool

No issues Y

Copyright violations Tool

No issues detected Y

Disambiguation links

No issues detected Y

External links

All alive and well Y

Well Written

Lead

"dominant wrestler who squashed jobbers" I think "squashed jobbers" is too wrestling Lingoish since it can be easily reworded. And is that really his character?
Is the Bull/Rhyno/Joe feud then team with Rhyno really important enough for the lead?
I think the lead is misleading in regards to his NFL career - he never saw a single down of play in any NFL game but the lead makes it seem like he did.

Arizona Cardinals

"Pestock was noted for throwing uppercuts in a team scuffle in training camp." - that is an odd phrasing, like it was a good thing almost?

Boxing career

No details at all on his first two golden gloves wins? this section has very little detail and could use something to actually make it deserve it's own section.

Professional wrestling career

I am sorry but this is a pet peeve of mine - "professional wrestling career" > "WWE" > "NXT (2012 - present)" - three levels of headlines before there are any details?
"Pestock signed with WWE's developmental system WWE NXT" - No he did not, he signed with WWE and was put in their developmental system.
"in a losing effort" - how about you simplifying it to just "losing"?
"a repackaged Corbin" I think it's be good to elaborate on what this "repackaging" consisted of.
"could one-up the other in having" - should be "by having"
"highly anticipated" is a judgement call, is there a source that called it highly anticipate? I know I did not anticipate it and I watched the TakeOver show.
"ending Corbin's undefeated streak." - he was not undefeated, perhaps after his return but that's different. Stating it like that is too "in universe" as it's buying into the storyline.
"next week's NXT" - should be "next week's NXT show" since NXT is also the brand and thus you need to specify.
"brawled with him, starting their feud." I thought it started in May 6 when Rhyno called him out?
"take place in the Dusty Rhodes" should be "take part in"
A lot of this seems week-to-week stuff, like the Rhyno and Samoa Joe has no depth to it or details really. I know the challenge is that Corbin has not done much of note. And the part that he did do that was of note - like being part of the "Proving Ground" show is not covered and it just stopped in December 2015 and thus not maintained.

Sources/verifiable

I think you can remove reference 4 - the Online World of Wrestling, it is not a reliable source and the name is already covered by a different source.
Reference 5 needs more details around publisher etc. what is teamkong?
Some sources use date format "January 1, 2012" and others have "2012-01-01" - it does not matter which one you choose but be consistent.
Is kffl.com a reliable source for football information? the reference needs more information too
Some sources list it as "PWTorch", others as "pwtorch.com"? And technically the publisher is "Pro Wrestling Torch" spelled out.
wrestlinginc.com is not considered a reliable source by project pro wrestling according to Wikipedia:WikiProject Professional wrestling/Sources, it is mainly reporting on results so there should be plenty of options from the sites the PW project lists.
Reference 44 needs more details than just the article title.
Reference 45 needs more details than just the article title.
Reference 46 needs more details than just the article title.
Reference 47 needs more details than just the article title.
Reference 50 needs more details than just the article title.
Reference 13 is dead even if the tool does not come up as such

Broad in coverage

Well not really - one tiny blurb about his father is the only non-football or non-wrestling information there is. There's got to be something else out there.

Neutral

The pro wrestling sectiion is written 100% like it is a legitiate competitive sports. I am not saying hit us over the head with "it's fake" but it should acknowledge the nature of pro wrestling.

Stable

I don't see any edit warring as such. just the usual kind of fan/mark stuff that happens to most WWE articles and in this case it's not as bad. So I think it's stable enough - at least until he gets called up, then all bets are off.

Illustrated / Images

It's got a picture and it has the appropriate tags etc. Y

@Ringerfan23: - My review is completed, there are things to address so I am putting this on hold for at least 7 days to allow for improvements to be made. let me know if you have any questions or when you believe you've addressed everything. MPJ-US 21:52, 26 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Ringerfan23: - it has been seven days and I have not seen much activity in regards to addressing my concerns. I am going to fail the article. Feel free to address my comments and then reapply for GA. MPJ-US 14:32, 1 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Nicknames

The "Big Breakfast" nickname is a product of some fans on Twitter making jokes, and they've been adding sources that are just their own websites/articles. Not an official nickname. --Molotovnight (talk) 17:44, 20 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

It's just a joke to them. Sources here https://twitter.com/search?q=%22big%20breakfast%22%20from%3Atomblargh&src=typd and here https://twitter.com/TomBlargh/status/726449455155822592 so please, do the right thing and take this dumb Twitter joke off of the nickname list. Baron Corbin doesn't deserve to be made a mockery of. --Molotovnight (talk) 16:57, 30 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]