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Talk:Bangalore Days/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 12:12, 26 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]


I'll have this to you soon. JAGUAR  12:12, 26 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Initial comments

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Lead

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  • Per WP:LEADCITE, citations are discouraged from the lead unless it's citing controversial information. I would strongly recommend moving all citations from the lead and into the body of the article
 Done
  • "and produced by Anwar Rasheed and Sophia Paul" - would co-produced sound more accurate if it was produced by two people?
 Done
  • "making it one of the highest grossing film in Malayalam" - films
 Done
 Done

Body

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  • "The film's story revolves around three cousins" - might sound better as just The story revolves around three cousins
 Done
  • "Arjun whose parents are divorced, is a bike mechanic" - comma needed between "Arjun" and "whose"
 Done
  • "Divya had completed her graduation and aspired to do her MBA from IIM" - these initials need explaining
 Done
  • "Her only solace is the time she gets to spend with her cousins Aju and Kuttan.Naive Kuttan," - missing space
 Done
  • "he learns that Sarah is to leave for Australia on a University scholarship" - no need to be capitalised here
 Done
  • I would recommend merging the last two paragraphs in the Plot section to make one
 Done
  • The Production section is somewhat short. Can it be expanded at all? I review a lot of Telugu film articles and their production sections are quite comprehensive. Is information on production scarce for this film? I realise that comprehensiveness is part of the GA criteria, but I would feel at ease if it could be expanded even slightly. The release section mentions that production was delayed, for example
 Done expanded as much as i can, is it enough?
  • "The soundtrack features 5 songs composed" - five
 Done
  • "The film was originally scheduled to release on 9 May 2014" - The film was originally scheduled for release on 9 May 2014 sounds more like it
 Done
 Done
  • "Bangalore Days was distributed in India by A & A Release Through August Cinema" - is this part of the company's name?
No
  • "Star Movie was the distributor in the US, Indian Movies in UK" - United States, United Kingdom
 Done
  • The Remake section is very short. I've merged it under the reception section, if that's OK
 Done
  • Refs 12 and 18 are incorrectly formatted
 Done

Additional comments

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  • What happened to the lead? It isn't organised per WP:LEAD any more, I think that the lead I read before this review was in better shape! The plot section has been severely cut and the latter two paragraphs are now very short. Also, there are still citations in the lead
 DoneI roll-backed those edits and moved some citations to the body
  • The production section is now of good length. However, I spotted a few prose errors:
  • "After the success of Manjadikuru and Ustad Hotel Anjali Menon announced her new project named L for Love" - comma needed in between "Hotel" and "Anjali"
 Done
  • "In later Anjali clarified that the film was titled Bangalore Days." - 'in later'? Could easily be rephrased
 Done
  • "In a conversation to a leading newspaper, Anjali said that most of the film will be completely shot in Bangalore" - this needs to be past tense. How about would be shot instead
 Done
  • "We are looking at shooting here till mid February at least" - what is this? A direct quote? I don't see how this is relevant and it looks like it was copy and pasted. Better off removed
 Done
  • "Anjali Menon announced that the film features" - remove his first name here
 Done
  • "new faces of Malayalam including Nazriya Nazim, Nivin Pauly, Dulquer Salmaan, Fahadh Faasil, Isha Talwar, Parvathy, Nithya Menen and Paris Laxmi. Rafeeq Ahmed, Santhosh Varma and Anna Katharina Valayil " - 'new faces' sounds informal. Be careful of WP:OVERLINK and long lists which don't go well in GAs. I'd recommend cutting a few non-essential names
 Done
  • "Santhosh Varma and Anna Katharina Valayil written the lyrics and Gopi Sunder signed to compose the music of the film, while cinematography was handled by Sameer Thahir and editing was given to Praveen Prabhakar" - this sentence needs to be cut in half. How about like Anna Katharina Valayil wrote the lyrics while Gopi Sunder signed to compose the music of the film. Cinematography was handled by Sameer Thahir and editing was given to Praveen Prabhakar
 Done
  • "The song "Ethu Kari Raavilum" was shot in Mysore and some of the scenes in Sankey" - unsrourced
 Done
  • "Star Movie was the distributor in the US, Indian Movies in UK" - these need to be written out fully and not abbreviated. United States and United Kingdom
 Done

On hold

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Needs a bit of work, but I'm sure once all of the above are addressed then it will have a good chance of passing. I don't like failing articles outright so I'll leave this on hold until they're all clarified. My only concern is the length of the production section. Are there any sources out there? If not, I would recommend expanding it as much as possible. JAGUAR  12:36, 26 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@JO Bieson: I found more issues in the article and have listed them above. The lead doesn't comply per WP:LEAD and needs to be expanded into at least two or three paragraphs. The production section is of adequate length but needs a copyedit and rephrasing. JAGUAR  12:22, 28 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]
@JO Bieson: the second paragraph of the Release section is unsourced. Once that's done, I think this will comply per the GA criteria. JAGUAR  13:35, 1 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Done, Sourced JØ +TALK 13:50, 1 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
This is a popular movie and there are lots of sources available in the internet. But still the production section is short. The article is not complete. But hope it will pass.27.97.204.60 (talk) 19:41, 1 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
OK, I've gone through it again and decided that this should be good to go. It only just meets the criteria, but I'm right in saying that the production section should be more comprehensive, as I've checked and there are a lot of sources out there for such a popular film. I would strongly recommend checking the article against the GA criteria before nominating and make sure you build it to meet the criteria. JAGUAR  16:39, 2 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
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