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Talk:Baltimore Skipjacks/GA1

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GA Review

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NOMINATION WITHDRAWN
Withdrawn by nominator

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: Lee Vilenski (talk · contribs) 13:17, 27 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]


Hello, I am planning on reviewing this article for GA Status, over the next couple of days. Thank you for nominating the article for GA status. I hope I will learn some new information, and that my feedback is helpful.

If nominators or editors could refrain from updating the particular section that I am updating until it is complete, I would appreciate it to remove a edit conflict. Please address concerns in the section that has been completed above (If I've raised concerns up to references, feel free to comment on things like the lede.)

I generally provide an overview of things I read through the article on a first glance. Then do a thorough sweep of the article after the feedback is addressed. After this, I will present the pass/failure. I will use strikethrough tags when concerns are met. Even if something is obvious why my concern is met, please leave a message as courtesy.

Best of luck! you can also use the {{done}} tag to state when something is addressed. Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:17, 27 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Please let me know after the review is done, if you were happy with the review! Obviously this is regarding the article's quality, however, I want to be happy and civil to all, so let me know if I have done a good job, regardless of the article's outcome.

Immediate Failures

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  • It is a long way from meeting any one of the six good article criteria -  Done
  • It contains copyright infringements - copyvio is clean
  • It has, or needs, cleanup banners that are unquestionably still valid. These include{{cleanup}}, {{POV}}, {{unreferenced}} or large numbers of {{citation needed}}, {{clarify}}, or similar tags. (See also {{QF-tags}}). - Nope
  • It is not stable due to edit warring on the page. - No edit warring currently.
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  • No dablinks.
  • I ran an archiver, as a lot of the links were listed as "forbidden". [1] Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:48, 30 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • I also tidied the refs
  • I much prefer the written dates to the numerical version, I tried to change these, but for whatever reason, the script didn't work.

Prose

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Lede

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  • the information on the teams success could be a paragraph on it's own here.
  • and played at the Baltimore Civic Center for all fourteen of its seasons. - Something more like "The Skipjacks played their home fixtures at the Baltimore Civic Center, which was renamed in 1988 to the Baltimore Arena (now the Royal Farms Arena)." Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:11, 30 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • I suppose it does mean that in British English too. Home fixtures would be the opposite of away matches. If there is a better phrasing for this, please use it. Basically I'd like it to specify that they play their home matches at this venue. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:27, 4 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • The Skipjacks were one of three AHL teams to play in Baltimore, including the Baltimore Clippers, and the Baltimore Bandits. - factually innacurate. They were one of three teams to be based in Baltimore. Every team would have played in Baltimore. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:11, 30 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Overview

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  • Something like an overview of the team, or otherwise. Currently it just has a history section and some stats. A section about the history about why the team is important would make a lot more sense. See pretty much any GA. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 17:21, 7 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  •  Doing... I am researching more information on the team. This may take several days or weeks to compile. NOTE: I separated this "overview" from the "EHL" section below as not to confuse them. Flibirigit (talk) 16:11, 10 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Might I suggest instead of a full club overview (which would still be nice) - what about a couple paragraphs about the club as a whole? Just something covering the club's birth, where it started, which leagues/honours it has won, and a bit about it's best players. It would probably meet the requirements just with that. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 12:26, 24 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Eastern Hockey League

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  • The city of Baltimore had been without professional hockey since the Baltimore Clippers folded, along with the Southern Hockey League in January 1977. - Journalistic language. Reorder the sentence, say that "since the Clippers folded in 1977, Baltimore had no professional hockey team based in the city." Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:11, 30 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • In 1979, a group of 22 businessmen raised $100,000 then formed the Baltimore Hockey Advocates,[1] and were granted an expansion franchise in the revived Eastern Hockey League (EHL) on September 12, 1979 - what does this mean? Articles should be written so anyone can read them. What's an expansion franchise? Why was the money important? Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:11, 30 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • The new Baltimore Clippers played in the EHL for two seasons, and were affiliated with the Minnesota North Stars of the National Hockey League from 1979 to 1981. - At no point does this say the team in question were the "new Baltimore Clippers". Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:11, 30 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ubriaco led the Clippers to 41 wins, and a second-place finish in the 1979–80 season - Doesn't seem like enough detail. The number of wins is important, but not really relatible. That could be loads of wins, or it could be very little. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:11, 30 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • In the 1980 playoffs, Baltimore fans threw debris onto ice surface, and fought with Utica Mohawks players, after a 5-4 overtime win by the Clippers. - why did they do this? Why is it important. How did they actually get on in the playoffs? (as it sounds as though they won!) Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:11, 30 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • In the 1981 playoffs, Baltimore faced the first place Erie Blades and were swept in four games - Swept is a jargon term. It wouldn't mean a lot to someone who didn't know the playoffs were best of 7 games series. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:11, 30 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • The Eastern Hockey League folded shortly thereafter, in July 1981 - consistency, EHL has been denoted as the shortening here, so it should be used. "thereafter" is a weird word here. Try "The EHL folded shortly after the season ended, in July 1981..." does also need some explination as to why the league failed. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:11, 30 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Atlantic Coast Hockey League

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  • With the demise of the EHL, team owners raised another $100,000 to help establish the Atlantic Coast Hockey League (ACHL). The team was rebranded at the same time, to avoid paying trademark rights of $10,000 - merge Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:38, 30 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • The owners chose another maritime name in the Baltimore Skipjacks, which were named after the skipjack boat, which became one of the state symbols of Maryland in 1985 - 1985 is after 1982. The second bit seems like it was named because it was a state symbol. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:38, 30 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

American Hockey league

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  • Skipjacks team owners continued to lobby for an American Hockey League team in Baltimore. - Continued? When did it start? Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:38, 30 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • In 1982, the Pittsburgh Penguins relocated their farm team and merged the Erie Blades into the ACHL's Skipjacks, with a three-year affiliation commitment to Baltimore - Whats a "farm team"?
  • Minor league is now linked in the introduction. The minor league article elaborates on the structure of professional ice hockey in North America. Farm team is now linked as well. In layman's terms, when a minor league team is affiliated with a higher level team (major league) it becomes the farm team. Teams in the AHL like the Skipjacks are not relegated or promoted, rather the players themselves move up to the higher level team or down to the farm team. Essentially the farm team "grows" players for the higher level team. A farm team can also be affiliated to more than one higher level team at the same time. I hope we can agree on a succinct way to summarize the above in the Skipjacks' article. Flibirigit (talk) 18:32, 4 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Common issues

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  • Yep, that's exactly the sort of commentary that we would want. Having an image, with a caption saying "this is the image" isn't helpful. Having an image, and then "image (dates), the white and red colours were designed to match that of parent club.." or similar. Don't forget the alttext. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 17:23, 7 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Notes & References

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GA Review

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GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Comments

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  • No problem! I'll keep it open for however long, provided I feel it can meet the criteria. I'll get a start on this one soon (I have an FAC in progress as well, as well as some GANs being reviewed, so it might be a little slow). Good luck Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 13:37, 27 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • I'm going to place this one on hold. It does need a lot of work, but as it's your first, I have gone through and explained a lot, and I don't mind helping (a bit). The thing to note with GAs is that they need to be readable (accessible) by all. It's very easy to be "too close" to an article, and just not see any of the issues. Please have a read above and see what things you can change, and let me know if anything doesn't make sense. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 14:41, 30 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • @Lee Vilenski:, I have read through the review, and have a lot of questions. It's going to require a lot of typing and editing that I will need a physical computer rather than a mobile device. I should be at a computer by tomorrow. I will also need assistance understanding many terms and phrases used in the review as they do not make sense in my variation of English. I hope you're willing to be patient. Thanks. Flibirigit (talk) 15:59, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
No problem, It'll stay open unless it becomes clear it can't pass. Take your time. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:26, 3 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
I am trying to work through this today on a mobile device. Progress will be slow. I hope to be at a better computer soon. Flibirigit (talk) 16:09, 4 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Article is looking much better. I'll let you finish the few things still outstanding. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 12:24, 11 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Hi Flibirigit, there hasn't been any activity here, or on the article for a fortnight... Should I procedural close this nomination, and you drop me a ping when you are ready for a re-review? I'd rather not keep the nomination open for a prolonged period of time without edits. I'm more than happy to open a second review once you are happy to at Talk:Baltimore Skipjacks/GA2. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 09:56, 8 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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