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GA Review

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Reviewer: HindWIKI (talk · contribs) 11:08, 15 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I am reviewing this GA nomination and I start it after two days. Thank you -- HindWikiConnect 02:42, 22 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Lead
  • it stars Ranveer Singh as Bajirao I and Deepika Padukone as Mastani, with Priyanka Chopra playing Bajirao's first wife Kashibai - remove the characters from this sentence. Instead, introduce and link them in this sentence: the film narrates the story of the Maratha Peshwa Bajirao (1700-1740 AD) and his second wife Mastani.
  • Bhansali announced the film in 2003 but production was delayed several times due to its changing cast. Bajirao Mastani, a passion project for Bhansali, spent the next twelve years in development hell before being revived in 2014 - Please see that the math is correct. When a film enters production, it is no longer in development hell. Bajirao Mastani was revived in 2014 when filming began, so that means it was in development hell for less than 12 years, because 12 years after 2003 (when the film was originally announced) is 2015, when the film was released.
  • Principal photography was done on sets constructed in Film City - replace "was done" with "took place".
  • Padukone's performance as Mastani was much criticized - you could merge this with the previous sentence and remove "however" to maintain neutrality. Also, use Indian English (criticised).
  • Recipient of several accolades, Bajirao Mastani has won seven National Film Awards - I'd prefer something like, The recipient of several accolades, Bajirao Mastani won seven National Film Awards.
Plot

The actor names may be removed to reduce the word count (the plot should be no more than 700 words per WP:FILMPLOT), and to avoid overlinking.

Cast

Nice to see this complies with WP:FILMCAST. The "as" in "Irrfan Khan as (Voice-over)" can be removed, since there are many articles that go like, * Actor (special appearance in the song "Bla Bla"). Or maybe you could write, Irrfan Khan as the narrator (voice-over).

Development

You have put the word "development hell" in quotes, possibly because of how informal the term is. While that is the name of the Wiki article, the supporting source reads "developmental hell". You may remove the quotes from the word, as you need not follow the exact wording used in the source. Like in the lead, please make sure the math is correct.

Casting
  • Later, Milind Soman joined the cast - It is the beginning of a paragraph. It seems he joined the cast in late August 2014 as per the source. You may want to add the time of his casting.

More comments to follow tomorrow... --Kailash29792 (talk) 16:40, 23 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Costumes
  • Since no pictures of Kashibai existed the paintings of Raja Ravi Varma were used as a reference for designing her looks and costumes. You have to put a comma somewhere. Also, there is a painting by Varma placed in this section, which you should identify by name in its caption.
  • Trust me I wanted to do the same but there is not a single source which says that. But Chopra had tweeted about the same painting being the inspiration. Unfortunately, it was not covered by the media other than Bollywood Life. If you see the character poster of Kashibai, it is very similar to the Damayanthi painting. Both are standing beside a Swan sculpture.Krish | Talk 14:31, 24 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Music
  • the soundtrack album was composed by Bhansali & Devrath - the "&" indicates an official partnership between Bhansali and someone named Devrath (like Simon & Garfunkel). But the latter is mentioned nowhere else in the article, especially the lead and infobox where Bhansali is listed as the sole composer of the soundtrack. Even BH lists Bhansali as such, with no mention of anyone named Devrath, even in its music review. Perhaps Devrath is best removed.
Marketing and release
  • News18.com should be re-written and linked as CNN-News18. Or simply News18.
  • "Video game" is a common term, so you may de-link it.
Historical inaccuracy

You may want to re-title this section because there seems to have been many inaccuracies. Also, why are there many redlinks? Do you intend to create articles on them? Kailash29792 (talk) 12:08, 24 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Kailash29792: Done.Krish | Talk 14:31, 24 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Krish!, thank you for addressing these comments. I don't have much to say anymore (any minor issue, probably prose-related will be addressed by myself), but I hope Ssven2 will keep his word of being guest reviewer. One last comment though: please reduce the usage of "film" in the lead section. --Kailash29792 (talk) 15:51, 25 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Guest review from Ssven2

[edit]

By my word, I'll now leave my comments.

  • Link Sironja to Sironj.
  • "Mastani tolerates this insult and appears to dance before Bajirao on the occasion of Parava." — What do you mean by Parava here? Find a link or try to at least add a referenced footnote. If either of them is not possible, then just simply write it as "Mastani tolerates this insult and appears to dance before Bajirao."
  • "Shiva Bhatt, a Brahmin priest, informs Kashibai of a plan to murder Mastani and her son during a festival." — The festival is Ganesh Chaturthi isn't it?
  • "Aditya Pancholi joined the cast as an antagonist." — Mention that he is Shripad Rao with a reference stating the same.
  • "between 10-20 kilos" — rephrase it as "ten-twenty kilos" as you have written numbers above or equal to 100 as numbers, while those below 100 in words. Maintain consistency.

That's about it from me. I'll perform a source review tomorrow.  — Ssven2 Looking at you, kid 17:27, 25 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Source review
  • Author's name for reference no 7 is "Test Sharma" (Strange name but its there). Do add it in the style of "|last=|first=".
  • Author's name for reference no 19 is "Ram Madhav". Do add it in the style of "|last=|first=".
  • Author's name for reference no 26 is "Pooja Kulkarni". Do add it in the style of "|last=|first=".
  • Author's name for reference no 30 is "Nayandeep Rakshit". Do add it in the style of "|last=|first=".
  • Author's name for reference no 87 is "Sonup Sahadevan". Do add it in the style of "|last=|first=".
  • Wikilink SET India (Reference no 138).
  • Wikilink STAR India (Reference no 139).
  • For all newspapers, the reference should start with "cite news". I see some of them written as "cite web". Fix it.

That's the source review.  — Ssven2 Looking at you, kid 07:53, 26 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Done. Thanks you guys, Kailash29792 and Ssven2.Krish | Talk 15:04, 26 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:
    B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. Has an appropriate reference section:
    B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:
    C. No original research:
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:
    B. Focused:
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
    B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
  7. Overall: Passed, my queries were met and solved by the nominator.
    Pass or Fail:

@Krish!: Congratulations. A Bhansali article (with him as director that is) has become a GA for the first time. As per this edit, I hereby promote this article to GA.  — Ssven2 Looking at you, kid 10:22, 27 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

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