Talk:Bahram Mirza/GA1

GA Review

Passed. Aintabli (talk) 01:41, 17 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Aintabli (talk · contribs) 21:07, 11 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Happy to review this. Aintabli (talk) 21:07, 11 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Copyright and images

All three images are in the public domain as they were created by people who died in the 19th century. Aintabli (talk) 21:14, 11 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Copyright violation unlikely. Aintabli (talk) 21:29, 15 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Spotchecks

A member of the ruling Qajar dynasty of Iran, Bahram Mirza was the second son of the crown prince Abbas Mirza and grandson of the shah (king) Fath-Ali Shah Qajar (r. 1797–1834). Verified.
Bahram Mirza first started working for the government in 1828, when he was given the governorship of Khoy. The same year, the city was besieged by the Russian Empire. Abbas Mirza evacuated Bahram Mirza and brought Amir Aslan Khan Donboli in his place. Verified.
Under the orders of the newly ascended Mohammad Mirza (now known as Mohammad Shah Qajar), Bahram Mirza was appointed the governor of the southwestern region (Kermanshah, Khuzestan and Lorestan), which he successfully wrested from the rebellious brother princes Mohammad-Hossein Mirza, Asadollah Mirza and Nasrollah Mirza. Mohammad-Hossein Mirza, attempting to avoid Bahram Mirza, took an alternate route to the capital of Tehran, but was soon captured and sent to imprisonment in Ardabil. Meanwhile, Asadollah Mirza and Nasrollah Mirza were captured by Bahram Mirza and sent to Tehran. Bahram Mirza subsequently appointed his brother Farhad Mirza as the governor of Lorestan. Verified. Better if now known is replaced with something else. "Mohammad Mirza" can just be linked to Mohammad Shah Qajar. The verb capture is used twice in a row. That could be replaced with a new term for less redundance. Aintabli (talk) 23:13, 11 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Slight rewording to remove the second "capture". Also linked Mohammad Shah Qajar to the first mention of Mohammad Mirza in the "Background and early career" instead. I'm not sure what to replace "now known" with, I've changed it to "now known by his regnal name Mohammad Shah Qajar", thoughts? HistoryofIran (talk) 00:38, 17 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
It could be crowned as Mohammad Shah Qajar instead of now known by .... Aintabli (talk) 00:48, 17 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Done. HistoryofIran (talk) 01:17, 17 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
In April 1835, Mohammad Shah sent the British military adviser Henry Rawlinson to Kermanshah to serve "as a sort of military adviser and assistant" to Bahram Mirza. Verified.
However, in reality the Chahar Lang would first start paying their yearly taxes during the 1840s, as a result of the harsh measures by the new governor, Manuchehr Khan Gorji. Verified.
Bahram Mirza was soon called back to Tehran as a result of the grievances expressed by the residents of Kermanshah. In 1850, during the visit to Isfahan by Naser al-Din Shah Qajar (r. 1848–1896) and his prime minister Amir Kabir, Bahram Mirza was named deputy governor of Tehran. In the same year, Bahram Mirza composed the military drill manual of Nezam-e naseri ("the army under Naser al-Din Shah" or "the victorious army"), which had 400 copies published in Tehran. Verified, but if I'm not mistaken, the first ref following this sentence (Ebrahimnejad 2004) only mentions that Bahram Mirza composed Neẓām-e nāṣerī and what the title means in English. The second source encompasses the rest. The refs here could be reorganized to better indicate which information comes from which source. This is the second time the phrase as a result was used. One or the other can be changed. Aintabli (talk) 02:20, 12 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Moved the citation. Replaced "as a result" with "due to". HistoryofIran (talk) 00:41, 17 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
In 1858, Bahram Mirza was given the governorship of Azerbaijan and the title of "Moezz-od-Dowleh". However, he was in reality only its titular governor, as he had given his pishkar (general manager) Aziz Khan Mokri complete control of its administration. Verified. In reality recurs here. It can easily be substituted with a new phrase or word.
Mirza Mohammad Khan Sepahsalar had established this council to look into military personnel promotions and to propose new regulations. Verified. Aintabli (talk) 19:09, 13 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Removed the second "in reality". HistoryofIran (talk) 00:38, 17 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Article name

There is another Bahram Mirza. A move may be appropriate after this review. Aintabli (talk) 21:26, 15 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review, Aintabli, it's greatly appreciated. I'll fix the issues before the end of this weekend. HistoryofIran (talk) 02:57, 16 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I was planning on putting the review on hold after making a few more checks, but I think I have checked almost half of the references. I cannot find any outstanding issues with the language used. And you have addressed everything I pointed out. Thank you for your labor working on this article. Passing. Aintabli (talk) 01:40, 17 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.