Talk:Babur/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 08:41, 9 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I'm Calvin999 and I am reviewing this article.

Review

Some dab links

Judging by the popularity of Babur, it is not useful to put such links here, so I have removed them.

Multiple dead links

Done RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 09:13, 12 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Info box, shouldn't it be Spouse(s) ?

Suleiman the Magnificient has consort, so I have edited the same here.

Info box, why are there two dynasties listed?

He was a descendent of Timur and hence Timurid dynasty and founder of Mughal. So edited it now.

Info box, you've linked Uzbekistan but not India?

Done

Info box, don't need a comma after Islam

Done

Lead: Aren't names usually written in their original language too? (Like in the Etymology section)

Done

of Timur, from → Remove comma

Done

Culturally, he was greatly influenced by the Persian culture → Repetition of culture

Done

He was the eldest son of Umar Sheikh Mirza, through whom he has his ancestral roots to Timur. → You're using past and present tenses here

Done

Final two paragraphs of lead could be merged as one. No need for 5 paragraphs nor two which are so short to be separate.

Done

He was born as → Babur was born as

Done

According to Stephen Frederic Dale, → Who is he?

Done

W.M. Thackston argues → And who is he?

Done

Babur wrote his memoirs and these form the main source for details of his life. → I'd rephrase the start of the sentence.

Done

Shouldn't some info such as his birthplace etc be in the Etymology section instead of Background? I feel like it all belongs together.

Actually the Islamic kings used to have many wives and children, most of whom we dont have track of. Moreover Umar Shaikh Mirza was not a big ruler.

I'd move the family tree photo to the right, because the structure of images usually goes left, right, left or right, left, right.
in a freak accident. → What happened?

Done

The Safavids however, refused → Comma after Safavids

Done

The block quotes in the First battle of Panipat section shouldn't have quotation marks because they are already indented.

Done

Merge the single sentence paragraph in with the other paragraph in the Battle of Khanwa section. I don't see the point of having a stray sentence.

Done

when he got it translated. → when he had it translated.

Done

towards Aisha Sultan Begum later losing → comma after Begum

Done

Summary

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:

B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. Has an appropriate reference section:

B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:

C. No original research:
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:

B. Focused:
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:

Outcome

On hold for 7 days. — Calvin999 18:36, 10 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@Calvin999:, Edited the article as per as suggestions. RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 10:17, 12 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. — Calvin999 10:20, 12 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Outcome: Pass or Fail:

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.