Talk:BL 18-inch Mk I naval gun/GA1
GA Review
[edit]Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: Skinny87 (talk) 08:12, 5 October 2010 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose):
b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): 
- Was there any particular reason why Fisher wanted a larger calibre weapon? Were there fears that the previous size wouldn't do enough damage, or penetrate sufficient armour?
- It's not entirely clear. Possibly the former, but he definitely seems to have had an exaggerated idea of what the gun could do.
- 'It was mounted in a single-gun turret, also designated as the 15-inch B, derived from the twin-gun 15-inch Mark I/N turret and the barbettes of Furious were designed to accommodate either turret in case problems arose with the 18-inch gun's development.' - Does this mean the barbettes (could do with a wikilink by the way) were enlarged to accomodate both styles of turrets in case the gun design was larger than anticipated? This is slightly confusing.
- Linked; broke the sentence up so that it's hopefully a bit clearer.
- 'The guns proved to be too much for Furious' light hull and they became available for other uses during 1917' - What, were they too heavy or too large?
- Poweful.
- 'He planned to transport the guns across the English Channel lashed to the bulges of monitors. ' - What are 'bulges', can they be wikilinked?
- Anti-torpedo bulges, linked.
- 'He also thought that they could be used on the decks of monitors so that a dual purpose carriage was designed for the guns' - 'and as such' instead of 'so that'
- Done
- 'Ammunition handling, elevation and ramming were to be done via hydraulic pump, but the breech was hand-worked' - To make the paragraph flow more logically, I think it would be best to have this sentence moved to just after 'The original concept for land use involved a special elevating slide that could traverse 6° to either side'.
- Agreed.
- 'The guns proved to be too much for Furious' light hull and they became available for other uses during 1917' - This concept is first introduced here, but the explanation as to why comes later; I would move the explanation to here, otherwise the reader has to go through the rest of the article to find it.
- 'A total of 85 18-inch shells were fired in action' - I would make it clear that this was from both active guns, as it makes it seem as if this was achieved by the second somehow.
- Done.
- Was there any particular reason why Fisher wanted a larger calibre weapon? Were there fears that the previous size wouldn't do enough damage, or penetrate sufficient armour?
- a (prose):
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- a (references):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
Good little article, a little tweak here and there and it'll be passed. Skinny87 (talk) 08:24, 5 October 2010 (UTC)
- Done.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 19:07, 5 October 2010 (UTC)